All Things Strive

This post is mainly here as a tumblr mobile tag search that works.

There’s not really much you need to know about me and this blog it is a personal one with no particular bent. If you want something tagged, I’ll take it under advisement.

She was so goddamn self centered to tell you the truth and the worst fuckin part is I literally remember being extremely upset and crying about it YEARS ago but not bringing it up and feeling ashamed of being upset because it sounds so childish to be like “she doesn’t like my make believe character” but it’s INDICATIVE okay???

Any time we talked about our shared bg3 universe with our characters she only ever talked about her character and if she DID rarely talk about mine it was with disdain “she’s a messy bi lol” or some shit about how craaaaaazy and uuuuuuunstable she was. Her character was her the cousin of mine and there was SUPPOSED to be familial connection found but fuck he never liked his cousin he always was condescending and disrespectful and flippant and aloof towards her when we wrote them together and she was always trying so FUCKING hard to be friendly and inclusive. He would only ever complain about her and everything she did and said and was. And when we had eso characters together same GODDAMN story, my character—importantly another woman to her male character—was childish and stupid and unreasonable. And when she made a character for the rp server I FUCKING RUN she designed a character that would LITERALLY be condescending and superior to everyone. That was her ideal character to face me????

So it feels so stupid to be like “her characters never like my characters” but they fucking DIDNT

And another thing!!! If she had a chance to do something about my character it was actually about hers. Commission art AS A GIFT?? It’s both our characters and hers is what’s important. Write a scene about both our characters? Time to write mine as bratty and petulant and useless while hers is just sooo frustrated. We both want to draw one of my characters and compare? I draw a portrait, she draws my characters tucking in hers.

I commissioned art of one of her characters from a game I never even played. But she couldn’t muster up the attention to say something fucking positive about one of my characters let alone think to get art or give them ANY of the focus.

I spent so much fucking time giving her and her characters and shit attention and adoration and I literally remember crying and feeling like shit when I was recognizing she DID NOT reciprocate at all

And I’m so mad that I DID see it, know about it, agonize about it. But I didn’t talk to her about it because I was like oh she doesn’t mean it and it doesn’t mean she doesn’t love and respect ME it’s fine I’ll just post all the things about a character she doesn’t like in my private server???? So she doesn’t have to be bothered with it?????? Christ

That should be enough for now

There may be more later