Bunny

if the milk wont go bad and the bread will not mold there's a man in the fridge with "preservative aura". cause his ears contain oils that when sublimated as a mist will engulf and preserve your bananas. and you're thinking, "that's cool, now my stuff cant just rot" but watch out cause the fridge guy is evil as fuck. yeah. fridge guy is bad with an evil agenda. cause he takes in the rot and it makes him aroused. <- sing paragraph to the tune of the united states national anthem so you dont forget

took my birth control with cherry coke and my first thought was "some tumblrina coquette bitch would love this as a text post"

the purpose of friends is to have people who unconditionally hate your shitty exes & relatives. like maybe YOU have a complex relationship with your father but i sure don't. i'm outside his house with a gun. he's not the unforgivable asshole who raised me he's just an unforgivable asshole

fuck your abuser for making you think that you deserved that

clicking 'stay signed in'-buttons used to mean that u would stay signed in

Good puppies still need to chew. It good for teefs

someone let a truffle hog into the club and it went straight for the dj

dj was a mushrooms 🤦‍♀️

this girl was showing all the signs of being a secret mermaid so i pushed her into the pool and she turned into a forty foot long mosasaurus which is tbh way cooler

🫩 <- i understand him

Hard to believe it's now been 50 years since the witch of November came stealin'.