Farfelue

the elder scrolls is like a tab i keep open forever on my phone, constantly ruining in the back of my brain

why are there so many posts about asexuals being immune to sirens. people. sirens don’t lure you in with sex (necessarily). they sing about whatever it is that you want most. they could sing about mothman or cinnamon toast crunch and guess what then your asexual pirate is fucking dead

this is the only kind of ace discourse i ever want to see on my dash. the only kind. ever again. good job

Do you think the sirens would be grateful that they finally get some variety? 

“Oh my god we can finally just sing about pasta thank the fucking gods.” 

I’m not asexual but I’m fairly certain sirens would do a far better job luring me into the depths with a song about pasta rather than sex…

Them: “We have unlimited wifi at incredible speeds~” Me: *diving headfirst into the water*

This post is a blessing

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Oh my god sirens were literally scam websites

Oh my god they were phishing

#Please little bird

I love that the modern-day tumblr post equivalent of chain emails only requires me to reblog a relatively pleasant image instead of forward an email to a bunch of my friends and family members to quell my raging anxiety.

It’s a win win. I get a bit of hope, you get a cute birb photo

i just love gortash so much like. how can you hate this man. he puts orphan bombs in teddy bears for fucks sake. his villain origin story was getting sold to andrew lloyd weber. he dresses exactly like a 50-year old visual kei has-been let loose in hot topic would dress and crushes it every day. he's the ultimate wifeguy and the worst person alive. im kissing him and shoving him down the stairs

small ferret you will ALWAYS be iconic

nowadays porn will have some of the craziest cirque du soleil positions but nothing will ever be hotter than a 3 minute dry hump

like yeah your overproduced video where you suck it sideways upside down pretzel style is impressive but I’m a bit concerned for your spine and that one video from 2002 at 420p resolution between a couple that breaks up twice a week humping each other had me at minute 2:08

also where’s everyone’s bush?

Oh my god this is amazing! Equal parts awesome, impressive, and gorgeous!