Scenario 2: “world wakes up to Superman tweeting about how he hates the police” and then the Shazam twitter account starts agreeing with him and that’s how the world finds out that two of the most powerful heros both hate the police

Billy, seeing what Superman just tweeted: oh cool we're allowed to say fuck the police now!!

Someone tweets if Bruce Wayne pays taxes, and Bruce accidentally replies with his Batman account with a simple "Yes", so people start to think that besides beating up villains, Batman also spends his time staring menacingly at billionaires while they fill their taxes to make sure there's no creative accounting going on

BruceWayneOfficial: yes, the rumors are true. Batman is my accountant.

booty shorts that say "I'd rather be in Ankh-Morpork, which is really more of an indictment of the here and now than an endorsement of one's personal safety and happiness in Ankh-Morpork" on the ass in very small font

Sybil Ramkin-Vimes has it in a completely legible font size, TYVM

a harmonica is like a fancy kazoo and I say this with all of the love and admiration in my heart because I think the kazoo is the perfect instrument. they should make Professional Quality Kazoos.

I love how both of these are still under $30. incredible work everyone

@creekfiend there's a book! I don't have it anymore but from memory it was, like, 50% silly nonsense (fond) and 50% entirely serious about kazoo as an instrument. It is called: The Complete How To Kazoo by Barbara Stewart and it looks like it's still available. Which means I could potentially fix the part where I don't have it anymore.

oh this sounds delightful

huh? pompeii? nah dude that song’s so old and overplayed, if the radio station puts that song on one more fucking time I’m gonna—-EH EH OH EH OH EH EH OH EH OH

At first i was like: why the hell is this on tumblr?! And then it suddenly made sense...

This is incredible.

atla heritage post

Nothing makes me feel like more of an absolute fucking idiot than cooking.

An Assyrian guy put a rice recipe up here awhile back and it was the best rice I've ever eaten. The recipe? Half-cook the rice and then bake it in butter. It had somehow never occurred to me that you could do that. Of course you can do that. Did I just think the rice was allergic to the oven or something.

Oh so when Clifford the Big Red Dog grows to enormous size you love and accept him, but when I, Fenrir

Its like how people who don't learn fire safety are brutally mauled and eaten alive by Smokey the Bear.