*deep breath* boi
has anyone told them about Sokka and Suki canonically getting it on?
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*deep breath* boi
has anyone told them about Sokka and Suki canonically getting it on?

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maybe iâm swinging a bat at a hornetâs nest here but i honestly think that people are right to be critical of ao3. like, obviously they canât moderate everything posted on the site perfectly all the time, but itâs pretty hard to look at the amount of seriously fucked up and even illegal content on there and argue that there are no flaws in the current system in place.
allowing people to self-regulate the content they view is one thing, and i respect that decision, because freedom of choice comes with a responsibility we as individuals have to ensure our own safety and wellbeing when making those choices. but the fact that there are basically no additional checks in place to ensure content being posted is at least dubiously morally and legally correct is, to me, significantly more problematic, as it is at this point that the effect of the content moves beyond the individual and branches out to those who access the content.
and itâs all well and fine saying âwell, people have to read the tags and make informed decisions about what they viewâ, but thatâs part of the problem. there are no compulsory tags one has to use on ao3, and no penalties for incorrect tagging unless the issue is flagged up, and even then the processing of complaints and applying a solution is slow at best, or simply ignored by the siteâs mods at worst. and iâm not trying to blame the mods, who are mostly volunteers and have a very tough job keeping the site in order, but the fact remains that ao3 as a whole has some significant issues it needs to address, and if it wants to keep asking for hundreds of thousands of dollars in donations several times a year, then it needs to do something to prove it cares about its client base and acknowledges their concerns. and it wonât, unless that client base is critical of it.
so by all means donate to ao3 if you wish, and carry on enjoying reading the fanworks published on there. but also try to think critically about what exactly youâre supporting, and listen to those who have concerns about how the site operates rather than just dismissing them for threatening your personal enjoyment of it. but, like, thatâs just my opinion man ÂŻ\_(ă)_/ÂŻ
one of the biggest problems with âfandomâ (ugh) is that it absolutely fails to recognize the difference between "expecting an organization like AO3 to realistically filter out genuinely harmful fiction will most likely lead to merely âcontroversialâ works being deleted in ways that will reflect systematic oppression" and âbeing upset about the vast amount of deeply inappropriate and potentially harmful fiction being hosted as a result of AO3âČs open-door policy means youâre a petulant child who doesnât know how good you have it.â
personally, i donât know that i would ever trust an organization like AO3 to filter out âbadâ works, even if they magically had the volume of staff necessary to review every single piece that went up (or even every single piece that was flagged). weâve seen what happens when âtake down the shit i donât likeâ is an option: it absolutely gets weaponized against lgbt works, against creators people donât like for personal reasons, etc.
however, because huge swaths of fandom (ugh) fail to actually underpin their opinions with any concrete understanding of⊠anything, really, but especially the mechanisms that drive systemic oppression, you get people mobilizing the ideals of âfreedomâ and the language of âsocial justiceâ in order to completely erase the fact that, yeah, there absolutely are huge piles of fics that in an ideal world should be burned to the ground. that nothing is ever âjust fiction.â that every story any human being has ever told in any medium in some way (a) reflects their views of the world and (b) shapes the views of those who experience it. and that just because you canât pick those âbadâ stories out by looking for tags for âbadâ content (because those tags donât tell you anything about how that content is handled), that doesnât mean that there isnât legitimately âbadâ shit out there.
so you end up with these well-meaning people whoâve built their houses on sand whoâve convinced themselves that itâs important to defend shit that normalizes and romanticizes rape, abuse, incest, the sexual abuse of children, because itâs ânot realâ and âdonât like/donât readâ and itâs âjust like targeting lgbt ficsâ (and donât think that last one wonât have me personally beating the shit out of you on behalf of every lgbt csa survivor i know).
i was talking about this last night with a friend whoâs a survivor of csa, and something they brought up & iâve been thinking about a lot recently is how so many of these self-described âfandom eldersâ (ugh) are functionally grooming children and teens for abuse. not even to be abused by themselves personally, in most cases, and probably not with that intent. but they set themselves up as safe, welcoming spaces and resources for younger people (especially lgbt kids/teens)⊠and then continually inundate them with messages normalize âfictionalâ child pornography and the producers of it, and oftentimes even continue to welcome those producers of child pornography in their communities.
i donât think thereâs a realistic, viable, non-exploitable way to keep âbadâ content off of AO3. but i think fandom (ugh) needs to take a long, hard look at its pedophile apologism, at its grooming of younger fans (especially those already most vulnerable to csa), and at its refusal to hold members of the community accountable for the themes in the fan works they produce.
âhowever, because huge swaths of fandom (ugh) fail to actually underpin their opinions with any concrete understanding of⊠anything, really, but especially the mechanisms that drive systemic oppression, you get people mobilizing the ideals of âfreedomâ and the language of âsocial justiceâ in order to completely erase the fact that, yeah, there absolutely are huge piles of fics that in an ideal world should be burned to the ground.â
Mmmm, no. You donât get to say that and then act like youâve got a solid foundation to your points. I mean, not that Iâm going to be particularly keen on thinking an argument is in good faith when you canât even say fandom without air quotes. Yes, itâs called fandom. Iâm sorry? I thought cringe culture was dead.
You should never, never advocate for the burning of fiction. Iâm sure youâre joking, or at the very least I hope you are, but an ideal world does not burn books. Unless youâre comfortable living in an ideal world that shares methodology with fascist dictatorships, because book burning â metaphorical or otherwise â is the first step in running one. Or havenât you been noticing the influx of Chinese users to AO3? Itâs the only place thatâs not burning them in their country.
There is no unchecked swath of illegal fanfic on AO3. The OTW has its very own legal team. Of fully licensed, not black market, professionally educated lawyers. Under U.S. jurisdiction (AO3 is subject to this jurisdiction), everything within the guidelines and terms of use on the site is absolutely, 100% legal. That doesnât mean people will never post illegal content there, but people post illegal content on Facebook, and Tumblr, and Twitter, and every internet hive of scum and villainy available. Even the most vile, disgusting, sickening fanfiction published is 100% legal. Because we all have the legal right to write whatever fictional scenario we please. And Iâm sure Iâll get called Enlightened Centrist for bringing up the freeze peach, but in a purely legal context, this is all protected under the very first amendment to the U.S. constitution.
If we move to talk about terms of purely social responsibility, thatâs a different and more nuanced conversation. But let the legal conversation be made very clear. Fanfiction is not illegal. If Lolita is on your library shelves, Karenâs Kuroshitsuji shota fic on an internet archive somewhere that doesnât market itself as an accessible location for toddlers to the eldery is hardly a breach of legality. Or morality, in fact. Which brings us toâŠ
Is said Kuroshitsuji shota fic written by Karen McBasic perpetuating pedophile apologist rhetoric? Not more than Steven Universe is perpetuating facist apologist rhetoric. Not more than Stephen King is personally responsible for any murder or rape inspired by his works. Or more than JD Salinger is a serial murder apologist for having written Catcher in the Rye, a book which inspired multiple murders (despite not even depicting murder, which really does prove that anything can inspire anything else in a sick enough mind). And Iâm not saying every single work depicting underage sex was written by purely innocent-intentioned, pedophile-hating saints, because of course creeps and actual pedophiles have sat down and written stories with the intention of normalising it for themselves. But people with dangerous impulses have been rationalising their feelings since the dawn of dangerous impulses. And people. So coming after fanfiction, which yes, punch me if you will (despite me being a queer survivor of an abusive relationship, hardly the creepy straight white middle-aged woman-demon fandom elder of nightmares), is a primarily queer space, is hardly going to stop the abuse and exploitation of children. And itâs hardly going to stop the abuse and exploitation of children in fandom, either. Because fandom exists beyond AO3. And fandom exists beyond Tumblr. And fandom has existed since fictional stories have been spread in human culture, which is approximately since humans began to communicate. And fandom is just one tool in a toolbox that consists of everything that exists in tangible reality for abusers to use in manipulating and hurting their victims. All itâs going to do is promote censorship in one of the only open, previously-welcoming spaces for queer people and other marginalised groups â including the survivors who are trying to work through their trauma using fiction. Especially including the CSA and other abuse (hi!!! Iâm right fucking here!!!) survivors who do not want you punching people on their behalf, because they use this very medium as a way of healing.
You should certainly say fiction has an impact on reality, because it does. And you should absolutely say writing harmful tropes in fiction is not a move primed to stop the reinforcement and validation of societal biases, because it isnât. But you cannot start holding people accountable for the actions of abusers unless they are, in fact, that very abuser themselves. You can argue for the basic human decency of being aware of the content you produce and its impact, but Iâm afraid making that argument in fandom spaces is rather like telling an English teacher to be aware of grammar mistakes. We know. Why do you think we have meta? Or content tags? Because your local library doesnât have trigger warnings, extensive tagging or blacklisting systems, or multiple warning pages you must manually disable telling you what work has adult content. It has a separate section for each genre, that any impressionable child (a demographic which is encouraged to come to libraries everywhere!!!!) is free to wander through and grab whatever copy of Flowers in the Attic happens to be in sight. Content warnings are optional in libraries. Content warnings are not optional on AO3.
They were on thin ice after acting like even just the word âfandomâ was something they found on the bottom of their shoe and lost all credibility whatsoever as soon as they advocated book burning.
(could you tell me how those lack critical thinking please? not trying to argue, just actually confused)
Sorry for the late reply! The notes on the post itself do a good job of explaining things, but hereâs my take.
Abuse is NEVER black and white. It might seem like it is, and for some people thinking about it that way helps, but with all forms of trauma assuming there is one way everyone should process and represent what happened to them is misguided and harmful.Â
Like yes at first it does seem reasonable to say that all abusers are evil and that they should never be redeemed and that narratives that frame them as being worthy of forgiveness are harmful, but that in itself is showing a remarkable lack of understanding of what actual abuse survivors go through.
I donât really know how other to explain it than through anecdotes so this might get a little heavy, I apologize, Iâll add a TL;DR at the end encase you would rather not read about abuse.
That said, the paragraphs below discus childhood sexual assault and emotional abuse.
So I was sexually assaulted when I was ten. For the longest time I hated my abuser, tbh I sort of still do. But he used to be someone I trusted and loved, so itâs hard for me to say things like âhe deserves to rot in hellâ or âI hope he diesâ becauseâŠI donât really feel comfortable saying those things about anyone, even someone as bad as him. Plus, I have reason to believe that he might have hurt me just because he himself was hurt, and while that doesnât excuse what he did, it makes things a little bit more complicated.
It was only recently that I discovered what became of him. After what happened my family never talked about him, and I never saw him again either. I didnât go to his trial and no one ever told me what the verdict was. I canât even find any news articles about it no matter how hard I look. For all I know he didnât even get punished. And tbh I was fine with that. I didnât want to think about it. I honestly felt a little embarrassed by it and felt like my family never really believed me. So I was ok with not knowing.
But a couple of years ago he apparently reached out to my mother and started talking to her. I donât really know WHY, but she felt comfortable talking about whatever he wanted to talk about and some members of my family have welcomed him back into their lives. And when I found that out I felt SO betrayed. I felt violated all over again, and when I went onto his facebook page to block him I saw that he was in a relationship with someone. And part of me really, REALLY wanted to find out who he was dating and tell her what he did. Ruin his life all over again. Because he ruined part of mine, why should he get to be happy?Â
But after I calmed down I thought about itâŠ.and while I NEVER want to see him again(just the thought of it makes me break out in panic sweats and feel like Iâm gonna throw up and cry), who am I to say that he isnât allowed to try to be a better person? I donât believe in the death penalty, and heâs only in his 30s. If he can see the error of his ways and grow and change and find a better lifeâŠ.well, Iâd rather that than he go back to offending or rot in jail. If he can be forgiven by someone, thatâs ok. It doesnât have to be me, but I am willing to accept that he has a life now, and for better or for worse thatâs not something I can control.Â
So you see, I cannot condemn him. Part of me still hates him, and I would rather die than ever see him again, and I donât think I will ever be able to forgive him, but I donât want him to die. I donât want to ruin his life. I donât want to stop him from being a better person. If there is a hell I donât want him to go there.Â
And to say that if I donât feel like he should be killed I somehow am being a bad survivor or that stories like mine are harmful isâŠ.bad. Stories like mine are actually VERY common. Most abuse survivors feel really conflicted about their abusers, some even still love them. Some forgive them. And reflecting that in our fiction is GOOD.Â
As another example, my dad has always treated me like crap. He loves me, I know he does, and I know it was mostly because he was sick, but he wasnât a good dad. He used me as a pawn against my mom, he made me take care of myself way too young, he blamed me for things that werenât my fault, he yelled at me, he neglected me, all in all he was a really bad father. And I still love him.
I can still remember the good times we had. I remember talking about sci-fi and science, seeing movies, and going out for good food. He bought me nice things when he could and taught me how to cook. He never made fun of my interests, he tried to teach me to drive, he even took me to conventions and helped me make my cosplays. He let me get dogs, and I am still so grateful for those dogs, who I still have and love to this day. Heâs also the reason I moved to Arizona and because of that I made new friends and got a job I loved and met my boyfriend(and our 2 year anniversary is tomorrow!).
So yeah, my dad was both a force of good, and a force to harm in my life. He hurt me a lot, and I am still trying to overcome the trauma he caused to this day. I have a lot of negative feelings towards him, and it is hard for me to talk to him, and I do have to remind myself that I donât have to take care of him, but heâs my dad and I forgive him. I know he loves me. I want him to get better and be a good person. I donât want him to not have a chance at redemption. I cannot condemn him.Â
And these people who think that narratives like mine, where I forgive and move on and the abusers go on to have lives and even be a part of mine, are somehow evil or harmful or invalid are fucking wrong. I donât feel bad saying that. They are WRONG. Because most people who did have abusive parents will feel the way I feel. Conflicted. A sense of both love and resentment. A reluctance to cast them aside. A desire to care for them when they need you. And a lot of us donât even feel like we need to forgive themâŠwe just do. Sometimes itâs easier to forgive. And sometimes we just want to have another chance at having a parent that loves us. Thereâs nothing wrong with that.Â
And as other survivors have said, seeing stories where abusive parents and people do see the error of their ways and go on to make an effort and change and try to be a better person and be worthy of redemption is cathartic as hell. It might be unlikely, and it might be an escapist fantasy, but it makes us feel better, and helps us process and cope with our trauma. Like fucking forgive me but sometimes I want to read a story in a world where people who do wrong ARE redeemed and DO make amends and become good people.Â
And this post is long enough so I wonât get into it too much but stories where bad people are redeemed are actually GOOD. Everyone fucks up at some point in their lives. Everyone does something awful, something that feels unforgivable. And when we do we see stories like ATLA and Star Wars and Steven Universe and see people who have fucked up and done awful things and who still are given a second chance. The struggle forward isnât easy, people wonât always forgive you, they shouldnât be expected to. But these stories tell us that no matter how far we have fallen, we can ALWAYS get back up. We can always be better. We are never beyond saving. We shouldnât give up. Thatâs really fucking important for EVERYONE to see.Â
And I mean you donât have to look far to see a world where one fuck up means you are evil. Thatâs how Tumblr is! A system of morality where one strike and youâre out. Where you can never be redeemed. Where all apologies are performative and anyone who tries to be better is just trying to get people to forgive them so they can be bad again. No one can learn from their mistakes. And that FUCKING SUCKS. I really do not want the world to start being like that too.Â
But anyway TL;DR
Most abuse survivors feel really conflicted about their abusers and do not follow a narrative that tumblr believes is âcorrectâ. Acting like there is only one way to process and come to terms with abuse and that depicting anything else in fiction is somehow harmful and evil is in itself harmful and evil. The people making those posts donât actually seem to care about that and tend to talk over abuse survivors who usually enjoy these narratives because stories where abusers do change and are forgiven are super cathartic and can help us heal more than stories where the opposite happens. In fact a lot of these stories are written by people who have been abused, and once again, acting like these narratives are somehow wrong is harmful as hell and invalidates a lot of people in the name of morality.
Tumblr once again shows a lack of any and all critical thinking and in doing so harms the very people they claim to be protecting because nuance is evil and everything is black and white.
Sorry that this got so long, if you have any other questions feel free to ask.
My abuser abused me because he himself was abused. Nothing is ever black and white.
Thank you for sharing. Youâre not alone in this belief for sure.
have you seen the absolute witchhunt going on re. avril-circus?
Oh good lord
Any followers who arenât in the loop, tumblr Avril-circus-callout is doing..,.. Some Shit
God, thatâsâŠ. stupid. Itâs stupid!
- theyâre not personally responsible for the content of everything they bookmark on pixiv
- the descriptions of the contents of the doujin are hilarious. this isnât a counterpoint itâs just very funny
- âWhat was going through their head when they drew their cute SFW art?â good god could you sound any more like a scandalized soccer mom? who cares what they were thinking about? if you didnât see the art as shippy originally then it probably wasnât
- bullshit hours are 24/7 on tumblr.com
- go reblog some of their art and donât boost the drama any further
Avril was one of the few people still keeping the lights on in the Moomins fandom until Moominvalley got popular, and itâs frankly heartbreaking that theyâre being hounded for asinine stuff (which they even APOLOGIZED FOR even though they didnât do anything wrong).
The sudden surge of popularity of Moomins (outside of us who grew up with it as wee kids) had my friends and I dreading that purity discourse would infiltrate it⊠and oh boy was I right.
Depressed Finnish internet has been joking for decades about Moominpappaâs organized crime ring and Mymlanâs promiscuity, and now we have to hear from people who have known about the existence of these characters for two weeks that everything has to be pure and kid-friendly. Fuck that noise.
your tags made me realize that holy shit, is this what devilman fans felt like back in the day? dear god, I donât even wanna think about old-voltron and first-HxH fans. The feeling of watching something youâve loved since childhood be rebooted and attract the trashiest fanbase on the internetâŠ. wouldnât wish this on anyone.
R.I.P. Moomins. I hope we survive this surge just as devilman did, and can then continue to love our problematic troll-creatures in peace, as the hattifatteners of fandom move on to their next shiny new target.
writers: *intentionally write villain as sympathetic*
fans: *sympathize with villain*
the purity police on tumblr dot com:Â
For everyone on this post asking which villains Iâm talking about/what kind: this post was written especially about the all villains that you particularly hate, and it was written to spite you, personally.

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Like if y'all really wanna talk about retraumatising yourself, imagine having a fucking anti as your therapist
The suicide rate would go up. Iâm not even kidding right now, imagine if your therapist was constantly judging you, putting you down and telling you deserved your abuse because of what you read and you tell me there wouldnât be a body count.
Imagine telling your therapist you have intrusive thoughts that you canât stop having them and your so scared and your managing them the best you can and imagine that therapist telling you your a fucked up individual who belongs in a psych ward for having INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS.
Imagine telling them you wrote about your experiences and posted it on your private blog, tagged so that anyone with those triggers can avoid it, and imagine that therapist tells you your as bad as your fucking rapist.
Now imagine after you leave that therapist because you canât take being verbally and emotionally abused and then you find out they called your parents to tell them what you told them in confidence in their office. Then the cops show up at your house because they said you were a predator and didnât mention they reached that diagnosis because you ship Sheith.
Just fuck them. Theyâd break people.
Actually, thereâs evidence of those with Anti / pros censorship / puritan mindsets attempting to wiggle their way into therapy and psychiatry.
(X)
They are literally capable of causing more damage than good in the real world, with victims and the mentally ill.
As someone who goes to therapy and psychiatry this scares me.
I hate this.
That very tweet was what inspired this post. It gave me chills.
i wish your therapists were genuinely helping you people so you would stop being like this onlineÂ
Anyone who thinks the DSM and the American Psychiatric Association hasnât been total bullshit for the past 50 years needs to do some reading lol. They constantly bend to whatever the public wants from them, DSM criteria for certain disorders have been removed or changed literally per request of political activists more than once.
The DSM is not the be-all-end-all of psychology.
No, but the APA basically determines how psychiatry is practiced in the United States and the DSM is a reflection of that.
The United States isnât the be-all-end-all of psychology, either.
It literally is the end-all-be-all of psychiatry for me because Iâm American. Like whatever psychiatrists do in Turkey is cool I guess but it has nothing to do with me or lobotomygf lol.
Anyway psychiatry in the United States has been extremely corrupt for several decades now.
Also, American culture, not just pop culture, but intellectual culture, is leaking in everywhere. Our psychology will be your psychology.
These concepts have existed since long before America began to dominate global culture.
@ferngullynationalist almost has a point in regards to the dsm-v being pretty bs but utterly fails to recognize why that is the case. Hint: itâs got nothing to do with cathartic writing and everything to do with drug companies lobbying to pathologize all sorts of normal psychological processes so they can line their pockets. Weâre talking, removing (normal range) bereavement exclusions, pathologizing childrenâs tantrums, and extremely broad requirements for diagnosis of disorders without accounting for situational nuance.
Additionally, lobbying and public opinion is also what got homosexuality removed from the dsm and ptsd added, so itâs not like this is entirely a black and white issue of any outside influence on the dsm=bad.
Casting doubt on mental health care as a whole whatever is going on with the dsm is disingenuous at best and actively malicious at worst. The dsm is a guideline and a good psychologist will evaluate the situation of a patient before giving a diagnosis. Yes, there are bad psychologists who wonât, there are also bad doctors but that doesnât mean the medical field as a whole is invalid. Discouraging people in need of help from seeking it by casting doubt on mental health services on the other hand is definitely bad and doesnât help anyone.
Ive seen a ton of posts lately telling people that if they see x ship they need to block and report. Block is good, i fully support blocking whoever you want no matter the reason, but report? For what? âHey, staff, this person doesnât share my shipping prefrences, terminate their blog.â Like, what?
âGUARDS TAKE HIM AWAY HE HAS SCROLL OF THE FORBIDDEN SHIPS!â
@just-antithings
not to be a âthis whole website is one giant social experimentâ but it honestly blows my mind on how tumblr has completely twisted the genuinely good philosophy of âbe thoughtful and think critically of the media you consumeâ and turned it into this extremist mindset where something is either completely ideologically pure in every single way (which, bad news. is impossible) or itâs the work of Complete Evil and must be banned and ignored in its entirety if found to be slightly problematic. and from this mindset has blossomed a black and white lens on human nature and a terrifying 1 strike and youâre out system with no growth mindset whatsoeverÂ
Iâll give you 3 guesses what OPâs been accused of
okay, iâll play. i checked thoroughly and OP hasnât been accused of anything, you just donât know how to argue against this post so you go for âcancel cultureâ, aka exactly what theyâre talking about. congrats, you proved their point Â
OP: Perhaps it would be healthier for everyone if we stopped being intimidated by nuance and grew out of our current puritanical holier-than-thou approach to media.
Some idiot: But Iâm sure youâve done something wrong in your life??
Probably the biggest whiplash Iâve gotten on any post was seeing that first comment, thinking they were just referencing Tumblrâs tendency to unfoundedly accuse people of things with absolutely no evidence because they said something they disagreed with, seeing the next comment implying that the first comment was 100% genuine, and then looking in the notes and finding out that the accusation referenced by the first commenter was that OP used to ship Draco and Hermione from Harry PotterÂ
u just cant get this kind of sloppy anywhere else
CW: graphic descriptions of trauma and rape
âVictims wouldnât write something so graphic to cope.â
âReal coping would mean writing about recovery.â
âIf youâre getting into the graphic details, youâre just writing smut.â
âSomething so graphic is just retraumatizing yourself.â
â
Fuck off.
Being raped doesnât fade to black.
The reality of what I lived through doesnât skim neatly over the details.
I donât get the luxury of only thinking about what happened in polite implications and next-morning scenes. It happened the way it happened and it wasnât clear, it wasnât neatly narratively structured to indicate who was right and who was wrong. I donât get to forget what his spit tasted like, or imagine whatever level of resistance or violence makes me most comfortable with what happened. Real life doesnât make tasteful fiction.
But when I donât have the option of not remembering, at least, at least I can bleed it out into something, maybe even something better, maybe something pleasurable. Maybe I can take the physical reality of his hangnail scraping my labia and make something fucking poetic out of it. At least maybe I can tear the memory out of me and make something from it and be done, be just a little more free.
âŠ. I discovered at a young age that writing helps me bleed out poison.
I discovered that, for me, writing about being torn open was nearly as good as doing it again and again and again, the way I wanted to all the goddamn time. I discovered that the same vivid sense memory that made me so prone to flashbacks had a use. I discovered that writing was a way to scratch that ever-invasive need to go over it again and again and again, and that if I just wrote it, if I just said it all the way straight through and somebody heard me then I could finish it and stop seeing it on repeat. I couldnât finish being traumatized but I could finish a story about it and I discovered that was almost as good, that small bit of closure. I discovered that I could write it and then close the book, and when I needed to I could open it and see it again. And the alternative wasnât not doing this, the alternative was nightmares and cutting and debilitating flashbacks and panic attacks when I smelled sweat or somebody brushed by me, all day, every day. I discovered that the thought spirals that ruined entire days could be broken.
And after a few years, the need faded.
I stopped being afraid of the memories and I stopped remembering them involuntarily all the time. I was able to put my trauma in a journal and close it. When it got bad again, when my brain started screaming the same thing over and over and over for hours on end, I could open up a page, an entry, take two fictional ideas and tear them apart and then put it all away and be done.
To be clear: thereâs a million ways of coping. This is only mine. But god damn it, it worked. It kept me reasonably sane and intact, it let me live my life without constant invasive thoughts and flashbacks, and over time my brain built new connections that helped me feel safe and in control of my own trauma. I thank god that I had a supportive community that let me feel like I could do something productive, something interesting with this horrible toxic dump of memories. Thank god I wasnât trying to recover in the current climate.
Fuck off with your talk of how unhealthy my coping mechanisms were. My eating disorder was unhealthy. My self harm was unhealthy. My flashbacks were unhealthy. My fiction was the only goddamn helpful, productive, healthy coping mechanism I had. and maybe I donât need it so much anymore, but Iâll fight tooth and nail until the day I die for every other victimâs right to pour that poison out in fiction that brings them some small amount of peace.
This reminds me of a talking point Iâve seen going around that legitimately angers me: âIf you feel like you have to write about this, do it in private so no one else has to see it.â
Double fuck that. Art is communicative, and there are untold people out there who can relate to this sort of trauma but canât find the means to express it for themselves, or may not have even thought prior to reading something so unvarnished and graphic that they even can express it for themselves.
Trauma from sexual violence is *isolating*, deeply isolating, and finding evidence that youâre not alone, that other people understand, can do a lot to help you.
This fandom police* perspective that the only ethical path is to work it out in privacy and silence until youâre done suffering crosses beyond stupid to me and makes me genuinely PISSED.
*Is that the agreed-upon term now? I was looking over a conversation I had with somebody months ago and I described them by calling them âjunior culture criticsâ.
âif you must be traumatized at least be quiet about itâ truly is the worst take
If anything normalises abuse, itâs refusing to ever talk about it and making doing so taboo. Guess what, guys? Telling people writing about their abuse is disgusting will make survivors⊠not talk about abuse. The more weâre aware of the painful details of abuse, the more we can learn about recognising and preventing it.
This is also what gets me about the whole âWriting so graphically about it normalizes it / is a result of rape culture.âÂ
Not only because they are using the term rape culture incorrectly, but because theyâre using it as a way to silence victims just so they can feel like theyâre doing something great for society.Â
Itâs why dark humor is also a great coping mechanism because it removes the âtabooâ around the subject. When victims donât feel comfortable talking about it, they wonât. Itâll become that dirty dark secret in the closest that you just ignore. People become more comfortable talking about it because itâs no longer something thatâs considered disgusting to talk about.Â
âWell just talk about it with a therapist donât talk about it / share it with other people.âÂ
That line of thinking is just about the same as telling people to not share it. Because then other people wonât want to talk about it, they wonât be able to build a support system of survivors and non-survivors even if that support system is built just through creating stories based around their trauma.Â
âThen they should disclose that theyâre a survivor and theyâre writing it to cope.âÂ
No one is obligated to disclose anything to you for any reason. Just because someone is comfortable sharing a story based around their trauma doesnât mean they are comfortable saying that they are a survivor of some sort of trauma. Not to mention, it isnât your business anyways.Â
âBut what if someoneââ
What someone does with a fictional story or any type of story that is shared with them has nothing to do with the person who created it. The person who created it is not responsible for the actions of someone they have no control over. It doesnât matter whether that person used the story to harm someone else, to jack off/use it as smut, etc. It doesnât matter. The author has no control over them and the line of thinking that an author/creator is directly responsible for the actions of their audience is a real thin line away from just saying that victims can control the circumstances of their rape by not doing xyz or being aware of certain things.
âew this makes me uncomfortable so you shouldnât share itâ yeah thatâs kinda the fuckin point. We want to communicate the pain. That is the purpose of art. To communicate emotion. You donât get to tell people to stop making art because the emotion it communicates isnât happy go-lucky and optimistic.
you canât say any properly tagged work is uncritical about its content because tags are a critical frame
Properly labeling something isnât inherently critical, itâs just stating the obvious! If I call soup âsoupâ, then thatâs not inherently critical. If I write a review of the soup, then THAT is critical.
Thatâs because âsoupâ (unless you absolutely despise soup I suppose) is a value neutral word. âUnhealthy relationshipâ, âabuseâ, etc. are not value neutral terms. No one is going to go arguing that these are not negative words and regardless of how the fic executes these concepts the tagging frames it is bad.
A fic thatâs tagged âdubious consentâ, regardless of how the characters react to the situation in the story itself, is acknowledging that itâs problematic and is far âsaferâ to the uninformed reader (not that fanfiction is where any one should be getting their understanding of healthy relationship dynamics and consent from, but it happens) than the same fic untagged.

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there was a post going around saying ""dldr is meant for things like, âif you donât like coffee shops, donât read this coffee shop AU,â not, âi can be as racist as i want and you have to deal with it because i used a disclaimer"". a lot of people in the tags argued that this is what they mean when they say incest/p*dophilia/abuse portrayed in a positive light in fanfic is problematic. whats your opinion? xoxo
⊠phew. this ask almost passes as a legit question, but the âxoxoâ at the end is a little much.  still, what a great opportunity to talk about this ongoing problem of people ignoring warnings that a work contains content that upsets them, then complaining that they were upset when they viewed it.
(first, a side note: donât censor the word âpedophiliaâ. Itâs not a slur - itâs a content warning. If you censor it, the blacklists of people who donât want to see posts that mention pedophilia wonât catch it and they could be harmed. Just use the word.)
anti-shippers who look at a fic or fanworkâs tags and say âthis has problematic content! I better go tell the author how problematic their content is!â, I have news for you:
warnings on fanworks indicate that the person creating the work knows the content is âproblematicâ, not for all audiences, and may hurt people if they view it unsuspectingly.stop taking fanwork warnings and tags in bad faith and using them as an excuse to harass and harm creators.
warnings arenât âdisclaimersâ (and arenât used as such). theyâre the CONTAINS NAPROXIN. KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN sticker on painkillers. The content is good, even helpful, for some people, but for others who donât need it or are too young to understand what theyâre consuming could be harmed. take the warnings seriously and if you donât like what they say the fic contains, you really are better off not reading/viewing it!
âtheyâre not warnings, theyâre advertisements!â they can function as both! people who want to read that content can find it and people who donât want to read that content can avoid it. everyone is happier, except anti-shippers who are mad that people are enjoying content they donât personally approve of.
âIf the creator knows their content is problematic, then they shouldnât have created it in the first place! Or if they did, they shouldnât have put it on the internet for people to see!â well thatâs a very different conversation. What youâre saying is that you advocate for censorship, and in that case âdonât like donât readâ would be worthless: only things you like would be allowed to exist in the first place.
But letâs talk about how âthey shouldnât have put it on the internet for people to see.â the basis for this is, I know, that it could corrupt the unsuspecting youth who read the bad content. But isnât this a bit contradictory? if a fanwork is tagged with a warning that it contains abuse, everyone who looks at the fanwork is going to know that 1) the author believes that abuse is bad and needs to be warned for, and 2) the work contains abuse. Taking these points together, no matter how positively the abuse is depicted, a viewer has foreknowledge that itâs abusive and the creator thinks abuse is bad. Â Itâs simply insulting to imply that viewers will look at the abuse in the fanwork so uncritically as to not think itâs horrible after receiving such a warning.
In fact, Iâve heard anecdotal evidence that people who have been raped or abused (or still being abused) or undergone other harm have read fics with these warnings and because of the warnings, realized what had happened to themselves was not okay. Â If anti-shippers had their way, those fics wouldnât even exist, much less be warned for.
Iâm about to say something radical, so brace yourself:Â
because tagging warnings is the accepted way to warn people about dangerous content in fandom, the things more likely to cause confusion and harm in fanworks are the things that arenât warned for.
Even the most positive depiction of abuse would be spoiled by a warning. Can you imagine if the beginning of every copy of Nabokovâs Lolita started with âWarning: this work contains depictions of csa, abuse, and child grooming.â It would force readers who are blind to the hints that the narrator is unreliable to read the work with a very different eye, and I doubt most people would read it and conclude itâs a love story the way many people do today.
Now Lolita was intended to be a kind of monster story from the point of view of the monster - it was never meant to be a positive depiction at all. Nabokovâs work was too subtle for most people, but he was a master storyteller. I think if he could, heâd go back and add a warning so people would stop getting the wrong idea.
In fandom, where we have a widely-accepted tagging system, potentially harmful content that the creator adds deliberately will be warned for. But the potentially harmful content that the creator doesnât know about wonât be - and thatâs the stuff that tends to be a lot more sneaky and insidious.
Letâs take your example:Â
âi can be as racist as i want and you have to deal with it because i used a disclaimer".
Racism does crop up a lot in fanworks, but not in the way this implies. Â Thereâs a huge difference between a creator recognizing racism exists and utilizing it as an aspect of a setting or acknowledging it in a respectful, truthful way and a creator who does not recognize their own racist blind spots and therefore ends up perpetuating harmful stereotypes or providing racist narration without realizing it.
The former tends to be warned for; the latter never is because the creator doesnât even know theyâre being racist. The former may be painful, because racism is shitty and harmful and real, but a person can steer clear if they want to avoid it and the warning shows the content is known to be bad. The latter is more painful because itâs not just depicting racism: it is in fact perpetuating racism.
So which is actually worse: the fic that has a warning for racism or the fic that doesnât?
And this can be applied to anything. A fic that depicts a character being abused but doesnât warn for abuse tells me that the author doesnât know the work contains abuse (which is worrying for the safety of the author). A fic that contains dubious consent but the author doesnât warn for noncon/dubcon/rape tells me that the author has a poor understanding of consent.  These are the fics that are more likely to be dangerous. Fics without content warnings are also the ones most likely to unironically and uncritically depict the bad behavior in a positive light - because the authors have been taught by the rest of society outside fandom that what theyâve depicted is normal/not harmful. They are victims, and they need help, not people yelling at them about how problematic they are.
Two last notes, which Iâll try to keep short:
If a fanwork depicts a relationship thatâs canonically unhealthy in a world where itâs fluffy and healthy, they are not responsible for putting warnings on their fic that pertain to the canon version of the ship.  For instance: Kylo and Rey are enemies in current Star Wars continuity and Kylo tried to torture Rey for information. But if a fic is set in a future where Kylo is well-adjusted and happy and dating Rey in a non-abusive relationship, the fic does not need to warn for âabuseâ. the fic doesnât contain abuse. Let it go.
No creator is beholden to using anti definitions of words like âpedophiliaâ, âabuseâ, and âincestâ for their warnings. The definition of what antis call âpedophiliaâ, âincestâ, and âabuseâ varies from fandom to fandom - sometimes from pairing to pairing. While tags will always be somewhat subjective, the wide variety of definitions these words have in anti-shipper parlance makes them all but meaningless, so use them when you see fit, not when antis demand it.  If antis have a problem with it, theyâll just have to start treating ship tags as warnings* and avoid all depictions of ships they donât like. (which is what we all wish theyâd do anyway.)
And now for the final irony: every time anti-shippers use warnings as a reason to go yell at people about how their fanworks are bad, antis give creators less incentive to tag warnings. People might start to hope that if they just donât warn up front for the potentially dangerous content people will stop yelling at them without even looking at the work itself. Or if the work is borderline (âmaybe this is abusive but maybe itâs notâ), they may opt to go without the warnings so they can avoid the extra trouble. this is already happening with dubious consent depictions. If a noncon warning gets you yelled at, then fics where the consent isnât completely denied will just not get warned for at all, and thatâs fucked up. Â And when the warnings arenât there, people are way more likely to stumble on something of a nature that upsets them!Â
So as usual, in their crusade to eradicate all content that isnât unquestionably wholesome and pure antis make everything a little less safe for everyone. Thanks, guys.  (please stop.)
and creators: please, depict terrible things in your fanworks in whatever light you choose - and warn for them. you might accidentally help save someone from a real situation thatâs terrible.
*ship tags also work as both warnings and advertisements, as it happens. Funny, isnât it?
itâs really disappointing when anyone thinks that public shame is a useful and valuable tool against abusers, when 1.) abusers donât generally give a shit/have no shame, 2.) know how to present themselves to others as a ânormalâ or âgoodâ person and are attracted to positions that give them power and establish themselves as normal upstanding members of the community, and 3.) the people who end up âshamedâ for being âfreaksâ are overwhelmingly marginalized people who donât hold a lot of power because people use shame to punch down or punch laterally.
like I hate a lot of gross ships just like the next person but notice how nobody goes after libraries for having books like lolita. the only people who go after public schools for teaching books like flowers in the attic are christian fundies. nobody goes after bookstores for selling young adult books where teenagers have sex. nobody goes after george rr martin for writing rape/incest/abuse. nobody goes after stephen king for writing a child orgy. nah. the people who are called pedophiles and publicly shamed are overwhelmingly young queer women who may or may not be venting their trauma through fictional characters to an audience that might at most have an audience of a few thousand people, who usually tag their content and put it on a website where you have to click to give your informed consent before reading.
like god I know how much it sucks to come across notps and extremely sickening fic premises but have a little perspective here on what is actually likely to normalize and enable abuse.
hint: itâs probably the lack of education about healthy relationships from school/family/peers, the cycle of abuse in families, bullying, and a system based on shame where abuse is dirty and disgusting and should not be talked about. and also the idea that ânormalâ people with âgood moralsâ are incapable of being abusers and/or supporting abuse. mass media probably comes in at a distant second. niche fanfic isnât even on the radar tbh.
so honestly I would rather feel literally nauseous while scrolling ao3 because people are posting rape/incest/pedo fics (and my reactions are just that strong) then send a message to the fic writers calling them nasty abusers who need to leave the fandom. because I have no idea who the fuck was writing the fics or why, and I hate the thought of retraumatizing people and making them feel broken, wrong, or just as bad as their abusers. when in reality the only way you can abuse someone⊠is to abuse them. a fic is not gonna hurt abuse someone unless an abuser uses it. and at that point, they could have used absolutely anything to groom/abuse their victims and the responsibility is always 100% with the abuser.
creating a culture where itâs normal to verbally abuse someone (threats of violence, calling them slurs, humiliating them and accusing them of things they didnât do), sexually harass someone (speculate on how they âget offâ, send them sexual asks, etc.) positioning the good guys as ânormalâ and âmorally upstandingâ and bad guys as âfreaksâ. sending people suicide bait (even if they are actively suicidal), sending people gore, has done more to normalize abuse and retraumatize survivors than all the fanfic in the world. I stand by that.
if people donât feel safe around me because of that, then thatâs ok. you can unfollow or block me. do what makes you feel safe. I need to do what makes me feel safe, and thatâs blocking antis. I used to be a lot more open minded about the discourse, but I have seen so much awful stuff I literally canât trust antis not to engage in abusive behaviors or retraumatize me anymore.
IMO, if I have to download a third party (AO3 Savior) just to make a site work for me, that's unacceptable. If they don't have the skills to implement it, that's fine. But if they think that forcing people to risk infection by an unofficial party is okay, they've got another thing coming. And that's not even getting into compatibility or tech savvy issues.
Keep in mind that running a website isnât easy though, AO3 has limits as to what they can and canât do. :\ Iâm sure if it was within their means, the AO3 staff would have ways to block users.
Also no one is forcing you to download third party apps. I understand itâs like a catch 22 thing, in a way you are kinda âforcedâ to use extensions to compensate for what the site doesnât do/offer but like⊠idk, what can ya do about it? It sucks the site isnât perfectly flawless, but theyâre doing what they can, and likewise, users have to do what they can to get past the imperfections. Most third party extensions are perfectly safe to use anyways!
This ask rubs incredibly the wrong way and comes off as extremely entitled. What AO3 gets done with the amount of resources it has is incredible, and only possible due to volunteers. It is an archive, not a social media site with big corporate funding in hopes of one day being the new facebook which is still extremely difficult to use without extensions (*cough*tumblr*cough*), and the service it offers is absolutely free of charge. Please take a moment to step back from examining the gift horseâs mouth.
One thing I've noticed and it's starting to bother me is leftists calling people freaks. There has also been a surge of calling people crackheads. As a queer, mentally ill and disabled person, having my "comrades" reuse a slur against people they don't like is concerning. It feels like the lefts version of degenerate.
man, ever since you pointed this out Iâve been noticing it more and more and I have to say Iâm not a fan
Itâs why I try specifically not to make these sorts of jokes or comments. It trivialises serious issues and promotes the idea that âfreaksâ and âcrackheadsâ arenât worth respecting.
âit feels like the leftâs version of degenerateâ
Holy crap, yes. Thatâs exactly what it feels like. Itâs the same exact bullshit on the other side of the aisle.
Me, sidling in to spout my catchphrase:
Every time I see someone calling people freaks I have an out of body experience and fiction is in fact reality because I just found the Dursleysâ tumblr account.
Hey pro shippers/anti antis! Reblog/reply with what made you decide to be a pro shipper/anti anti!!!
Seeing people telling outright blatant lies about ships, kinks, and the goddamn meaning of words.
Seeing people call age gaps between adults âpedophiliaâ as well as what @tend-to-your-own-knitting said.
Watching my friend admit they were feeling suicidal and an anti who had been harassing them replied with âgood, you should kill yourself.â
I about flipped my shit because I used to stay out of discourse and I was afraid to argue with people. That was the point where I just cracked and even though I was still scared I knew I couldnât stay out of it anymore. Nothing could justify the way they treated them.
seeing the harassment sheith and shidge shippers got after i got into voltron, then seeing my âfriendsâ thinking the same way
All of the above, but especially seeing how horrible they act over what amounts to headcanon differences. There is no excuse. I stayed out of it for a long time, but eventually the rage got to me.
Blatant misuse of the word pedophilia for the sake of ship wars. I was on board with the âanti-pedophilia in x-fandomâ posts until I saw people calling OtaYuri pedophilia which made me skeptical and then I stumbled into the Voltron Nonsense(TM) which completely disillusioned me.
Seeing a bunch of hypocrites harass KS fans for liking the story âfor the wrong reasonsâ and accusing people of being horrible for financially supporting the creator while continuing to read the story themselves.
Harassment and accusations of homophobia/transphobia over differing headcanons, especially when there is zilch canonical evidence of the âcorrectâ headcanon. Saw a lot of this in BNHA and itâs such an entitled attitude to claim the entire fandom should cater to your specific headcanon or else theyâre bigots.

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âWe as a fandom have to talk about-â No. No we donât. You can talk about it if you want to. Thatâs fine, if thatâs how you fandom then go for it. I hope it works out for you because I want you to enjoy your fandom experience. But if Iâm in fandom for reasons thatâs counter to, then I have no obligation to talk about it. I donât have to talk about anything except what I want to.
âOkay but you have to talk about your faveâs flaws-â No! No I donât! I have to be able to acknowledge those flaws when they come up. I have to be able to admit that my character has flaws, and accept when others talk about those flaws. But I donât have to talk about them if I donât want to. If I want to only focus on the better aspects of my fave, even if that means just shallowly talking about how hot they are, I can. Thatâs my choice, thatâs how Iâve decided to enjoy them.
Fandom is meant to be fun. Fandom is meant to be a hobby. I donât have to talk about any aspect of my favorite story or ship or character or writer or anything if I donât want to. You know whatâs not fun? Having to talk about the ways my favorite thing is bad every time I want to talk about it. Having to point out my favorite thingâs flaws instead of the things that makes me enjoy it. Having to disclaim before I get to sing somethingâs praises because âyeah I know itâs shit BUTâ. No. I can know something is bad without needing to talk about it.
Idk dude this sounds like a really great rationalization for wanting to ignore the parts of something that are problematic and not wanting to have to unpack that
Listen. If the way you fandom is to spend all of your time on critical analysis and unpack everything that makes the thing you like problematic, if thatâs what youâre about, then go for it. I mean it. If thatâs how you get on, then you do you, and I stand by what I said above, I hope it works out for you. I want everyone to be able to enjoy their fandom experience, even if I canât wrap my head around why the way they fandom is enjoyable.
But I donât owe anyone anything. If I donât want to have a big public discussion about how problematic my favorite thing is, then I donât have to. Thatâs my choice. I donât have to perform a requisite level of discourse to be able to enjoy something; I can just enjoy it, and no one else gets a say in that.
Itâs not a rationalization, itâs reality. I can fandom sans discourse if thatâs the way I choose to fandom. End of sentence.
I will kill all antis with my bare hands
good lord teenagers that are attracted to ppl their own age are literally asking the internet permission if thatâs okay. which is exactly what antis want: they want control over people. especially young people like this. ugh
Just Anti Things: hell site
As much as I think we should avoid making jokes about killing antis, this sort of mindset that they instill in young teens is so fucked up and dangerous. They keep telling us theyâre not conservative puritans, but theyâre having the exact same effects as one, so what the hell is the difference really?
this is so galaxy brained. literally what does any of this have to do with âantisâ i-
Because theyâre the ones policing who you can and cannot ship or write/draw art for. Itâs not a hard conclusion to draw.
in these situations, these so called âantisâ (most just call them normal people) literally only tell adults (you know.. people in their twenties and older) that they should not be attracted or be romantically involved with teenagers. these antis (again, people with critical thinking skills) also urge grown adults against sexualizing minors!
none of this correlates to the op in the screenshot and none of this has anything to do with antis so yeah, Iâd say itâs a pretty hard conclusion to draw.
Antis are not normal people. They do not only target adults.
TW for graphic violence. These are some of the things antis have sent to abuse survivors using these sorts of ships as coping mechanisms. Reminder that the characters referred to are not real teenagers, who you obviously should not be romantically involved with as an adult.
Stop fucking lying.
You know what? Iâm not fucking done.
Letâs add to this: why are kids asking if itâs ok to have a crush on celebs/characters their own age if ânormal peopleâ are only directing this shit towards adults? Hint: itâs because theyâre not. These posts never say âstop sexualizing x-(possibly)-underage-character unless youâre a minor then itâs okâ they say âyouâre gross/a pedophile if you sexualize x-(possibly)-underage-characterâ and kids are internalizing that shit.
(And letâs stop telling people to kill themselves/threatening to kill them in general because itâs really fucked up)