emergency exit row leg room

"rickrolling is mean" rickrolling is the gentle, kind, prosocial descendant of what we used to do on the internet, which was putting a redirect to goatse in every possible misspelling of a url

if you set off a rube goldberg type death trap to kill someone, if it's a long enough machine, it ceases to become your fault if somebody dies at the end. that's how I've gotten away with it all these years, and why I'm still going to heaven.

weed gummies are such a fake sounding concept like yeah if you eat this piece of candy and wait an hour you'll suddenly become very easily entertained and airheaded and cuddly

willy wonka creation

stop thinking with your dick and start thinking with your pussy. ok now stop thinking with your pussy and start thinking with your dick again. meditate on the differences between them. call me back when you get it.

i think "turning into a pumpkin" is my new favorite way to articulate the state of things when I am at a function and very overstimulated and it feels like my brain is melting. it's like no i can't be a person anymore i have to leave i'm turning into the pumpkin. the time is up yeah i gotta go. yeah see u later. pumpkin time.

environmental storytelling.

girls who are bereft of cosmic authority say stuff like “blinds you with my divine light to make you follow me like a little lamb”. girls who could crack the earth in half with a tap of their heel against the ground say stuff like “lol yeah” or “im tired”

it’s a beautiful day to check out a book from the library

its a beautiful day to return a book to the library unread after it auto renews 3 times

The library says thank you for boosting our circulation stats and the book will still be here later if you want it another time <3

652/1296!! please keep sharing, donate if you can, ty

752/1296!!

i’m begging you, if you can spare anything

ayy 770/1296

785/1296!