If a single man feels entitled to a woman dating him, then if a woman actually dated him, he’d continue to feel entitled. He’d feel entitled to sex whenever he wants. He’d feel entitled to her obeying him. He’d feel entitled to controlling who she interacts with. He’d feel entitled to her never breaking up with him.

I was infuriated.

I demanded an explanation for his callous and gave reference to my trauma and he said he didn’t need to hear any of that.

Couldn’t I just take a joke?

A tidal wave of vengeance and of accountability rose up into my throat and before it was unleashed I swallowed it. Choking on the sound of all the women who have been told they couldn’t answer no. And couldn’t take a joke.

Yesterday he said he had a bad day.

I responded with “that sucks”

He was annoyed.

Couldn’t I care more? Couldn’t I be sensitive to the fact that you are hurting because your pain is my responsibility. Couldn’t i be considerate to the pain your body goes through? Couldn’t I probe and hear your heart? Couldn’t I try to pick of the pieces of your shattered heart and apologize that you were flung for a moment into darkness?

I wonder what it must be like.

“Hmmm, tough call bro. Have you tried gouging out your eyes so you don’t have to see all those bodies anymore?”

“wut”

“What?”

“Shouldn’t you tell them to… stop dressing like that or something?”

“Don’t see why. It’s not their fault that the fact that they have bodies makes you a fucking sinful horndog. Gotta fix that problem yourself, buddy. Go on, blind yourself.”

“Uh….”

“How can I avoid like, an accidental slip of the hand when…they’re dressin like that?”

“Cut it off.”

“wut”

“Cut it off. Your hand. If it’s a problem, stop having a hand.”

“wut”

https://abcnews.go.com/blogs/health/2011/10/20/women-drivers-at-greater-risk-in-car-crashes-says-study/

women, seeing that same ad: Why are they all men?

I remember being ridiculed as a teenager for liking the idea of a smart car because not only was it electric and the first mainstream sustainable idea that I can think of , it was a small car!!! I’m a small person, I need things that are made for me!!

It’s like if they only sold men’s size bicycles and no one thought that was weird when they specifically make the cross bar at a diagonal because women have shorter legs that dont go way over the whole bike !!!

Sure!

I think a lot of the beauty standards in Iceland comes down to materialism and conformism. Like if you’re ever in Iceland you’ll notice that at least 90% of the girls and women are wearing the same (expensive, designer) outfits, have their hair the exact same length and bleached the exact same shade of platinum blonde, ECT. Like sometimes when I’m in public I try to count the number of girls and women I see without platinum blonde obviously bleached hair, and it’s usually 0-2 in any given public space.

The makeup culture in Iceland really bothers me because every Icelandic woman wears the exact same makeup style, like same shape and color black arched eyebrows penciled in, same contour and highlighting, same nude eyeshadow, ECT. I never see Icelandic women get unique or expressive with their makeup, like at least in the U.S. or Finland I’d see fun expressive colorful makeup so you could argue they were wearing it for fun, but with Icelandic women it’s all the same style and nude colors making it obvious it’s about conforming and meeting beauty standards.

The body standards like a lot of the Western world right now is a hyper obsession with that “Instagram fit” body type.

I think abroad there’s a stereotype that all Icelandic women are gorgeous hot blonde babes, and a lot of Icelandic women feel obligated to live up to that by any means, like getting their hair bleached every few weeks.

In general yeah, I think what makes the beauty standards in Iceland so bad is how heavily conformist they are and how rarely you see any Icelandic women stray even slightly from the norm in their hair, clothes, and makeup.

Extract from comprehensive article where space is given to all voices. Highlighted above is the more gender critical aspect voiced within article.

Trans people need therapy to learn how to live with the bodies they have. Being your “authentic self” is being who you were born as, embracing every part about yourself, regardless of what society says about it. 

Remain defiant

Trusting my version of reality. Not allowing it to be altered on demand. 

Recognize there will never be accountability

The person who is gaslighting you will never be able to see your point of view or take responsibility for their actions.

Acknowledgement is not on the cards. And asserting yourself is not just useless but harmful. Because the person gaslighting will never be able to respond to logic and reason - and so you have to be the one to recognize that logic and reason can’t be applied.

Let go of the wish for things to be different

The wish for things to be different is very powerful and inoculates you to the tumult. It allows you to continue to believe logic and reason will prevail. 

You will never be heard.

Develop healthy detachment

I had to develop certain coping mechanisms, but there was a price. 

Detaching from the gaslighting does not mean total detachment. It means distinguishing between the world of the gaslighter and the real world.

Refuse to lose energy to their drama.  

SUMMARY

Decide on your position

Give up competition

Accept current situation