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@existentialcrisishumanoid
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HOLY SHIT, IT WAS THE ORIGINAL ONE
MAKE A WISH
the first post ever on tumblr
I WAS EXPECTING IT TO BE A REMAKE OF SOME SORT HOLY FUCK
WHO THE FUCK KEEPS BRINGING THIS BACK
World Heritage Post
like actually though. iâm in AWE of the notecount.
Temples are built for gods. Knowing this a farmer builds a small temple to see what kind of god turns up.
Arepo built a temple in his field, a humble thing, some stones stacked up to make a cairn, and two days later a god moved in.
âHope youâre a harvest god,â Arepo said, and set up an altar and burnt two stalks of wheat. âItâd be nice, you know.â He looked down at the ash smeared on the stone, the rocks all laid askew, and coughed and scratched his head. âI know itâs not much,â he said, his straw hat in his hands. âBut - Iâll do what I can. Itâd be nice to think thereâs a god looking after me.â
The next day he left a pair of figs, the day after that he spent ten minutes of his morning seated by the temple in prayer. On the third day, the god spoke up.
âYou should go to a temple in the city,â the god said. Its voice was like the rustling of the wheat, like the squeaks of fieldmice running through the grass. âA real temple. A good one. Get some real gods to bless you. Iâm no one much myself, but I might be able to put in a good word?â It plucked a leaf from a tree and sighed. âI mean, not to be rude. I like this temple. Itâs cozy enough. The worshipâs been nice. But you canât honestly believe that any of this is going to bring you anything.â
âThis is more than I was expecting when I built it,â Arepo said, laying down his scythe and lowering himself to the ground. âTell me, what sort of god are you anyway?â
âIâm of the fallen leaves,â it said. âThe worms that churn beneath the earth. The boundary of forest and of field. The first hint of frost before the first snow falls. The skin of an apple as it yields beneath your teeth. Iâm a god of a dozen different nothings, scraps that lead to rot, momentary glimpses. A change in the air, and then itâs gone.â
The god heaved another sigh. âThereâs no point in worship in that, not like War, or the Harvest, or the Storm. Save your prayers for the things beyond your control, good farmer. Youâre so tiny in the world. So vulnerable. Best to pray to a greater thing than me.â
Arepo plucked a stalk of wheat and flattened it between his teeth. âI like this sort of worship fine,â he said. âSo if you donât mind, I think Iâll continue.â
âDo what you will,â said the god, and withdrew deeper into the stones. âBut donât say I never warned you otherwise.â
Arepo would say a prayer before the morningâs work, and he and the god contemplated the trees in silence. Days passed like that, and weeks, and then the Storm rolled in, black and bold and blustering. It flooded Arepoâs fields, shook the tiles from his roof, smote his olive tree and set it to cinder. The next day, Arepo and his sons walked among the wheat, salvaging what they could. The little temple had been strewn across the field, and so when the work was done for the day, Arepo gathered the stones and pieced them back together.
âUseless work,â the god whispered, but came creeping back inside the temple regardless. âThere wasnât a thing I could do to spare you this.â
âWeâll be fine,â Arepo said. âThe stormâs blown over. Weâll rebuild. Donât have much of an offering for today,â he said, and laid down some ruined wheat, âbut I think Iâll shore up this thingâs foundations tomorrow, how about that?âÂ
The god rattled around in the temple and sighed.
A year passed, and then another. The temple had layered walls of stones, a roof of woven twigs. Arepoâs neighbors chuckled as they passed it. Some of their children left fruit and flowers. And then the Harvest failed, the gods withdrew their bounty. In Arepoâs field the wheat sprouted thin and brittle. People wailed and tore their robes, slaughtered lambs and spilled their blood, looked upon the ground with haunted eyes and went to bed hungry. Arepo came and sat by the temple, the flowers wilted now, the fruit shriveled nubs, Arepoâs ribs showing through his chest, his hands still shaking, and murmured out a prayer.Â
âThere is nothing here for you,â said the god, hudding in the dark. âThere is nothing I can do. There is nothing to be done.â It shivered, and spat out its words. âWhat is this temple but another burden to you?â
âWe -â Arepo said, and his voice wavered. âSo itâs a lean year,â he said. âWeâve gone through this before, weâll get through this again. So weâre hungry,â he said. âWeâve still got each other, donât we? And a lot of people prayed to other gods, but it didnât protect them from this. No,â he said, and shook his head, and laid down some shriveled weeds on the altar. âNo, I think I like our arrangement fine.â
âThere will come worse,â said the god, from the hollows of the stone. âAnd there will be nothing I can do to save you.â
The years passed. Arepo rested a wrinkled hand upon the temple of stone and some days spent an hour there, lost in contemplation with the god.
And one fateful day, from across the wine-dark seas, came War.
Arepo came stumbling to his temple now, his hand pressed against his gut, anointing the holy site with his blood. Behind him, his wheat fields burned, and the bones burned black in them. He came crawling on his knees to a temple of hewed stone, and the god rushed out to meet him.
âI could not save them,â said the god, its voice a low wail. âI am sorry. I am sorry. I am so so sorry.â The leaves fell burning from the trees, a soft slow rain of ash. âI have done nothing! All these years, and I have done nothing for you!â
âShush,â Arepo said, tasting his own blood, his vision blurring. He propped himself up against the temple, forehead pressed against the stone in prayer. âTell me,â he mumbled. âTell me again. What sort of god are you?â
âI -â said the god, and reached out, cradling Arepoâs head, and closed its eyes and spoke.
âIâm of the fallen leaves,â it said, and conjured up the image of them. âThe worms that churn beneath the earth. The boundary of forest and of field. The first hint of frost before the first snow falls. The skin of an apple as it yields beneath your teeth.â Arepoâs lips parted in a smile.
âI am the god of a dozen different nothings,â it said. âThe petals in bloom that lead to rot, the momentary glimpses. A change in the air -â Its voice broke, and it wept. âBefore itâs gone.â
âBeautiful,â Arepo said, his blood staining the stones, seeping into the earth. âAll of them. They were all so beautiful.â
And as the fields burned and the smoke blotted out the sun, as men were trodden in the press and bloody War raged on, as the heavens let loose their wrath upon the earth, Arepo the sower lay down in his humble temple, his head sheltered by the stones, and returned home to his god.
Sora found the temple with the bones within it, the roof falling in upon them.
âOh, poor god,â she said, âWith no-one to bury your last priest.â Then she paused, because she was from far away. âOr is this how the dead are honored here?â The god roused from its contemplation.
âHis name was Arepo,â it said, âHe was a sower.â
Sora startled, a little, because she had never before heard the voice of a god. âHow can I honor him?â She asked.
âBury him,â the god said, âBeneath my altar.â
âAll right,â Sora said, and went to fetch her shovel.
âWait,â the god said when she got back and began collecting the bones from among the broken twigs and fallen leaves. She laid them out on a roll of undyed wool, the only cloth she had. âWait,â the god said, âI cannot do anything for you. I am not a god of anything useful.â
Sora sat back on her heels and looked at the altar to listen to the god.
âWhen the Storm came and destroyed his wheat, I could not save it,â the god said, âWhen the Harvest failed and he was hungry, I could not feed him. When War came,â the godâs voice faltered. âWhen War came, I could not protect him. He came bleeding from the battle to die in my arms.â Sora looked down again at the bones.
âI think you are the god of something very useful,â she said.
âWhat?â the god asked.
Sora carefully lifted the skull onto the cloth. âYou are the god of Arepo.â
Generations passed. The village recovered from its tragediesâhomes rebuilt, gardens re-planted, wounds healed. The old man who once lived on the hill and spoke to stone and rubble had long since been forgotten, but the temple stood in his name. Most believed it to empty, as the god who resided there long ago had fallen silent. Yet, any who passed the decaying shrine felt an ache in their hearts, as though mourning for a lost friend. The cold that seeped from the temple entrance laid their spirits low, and warded off any potential visitors, save for the rare and especially oblivious children who would leave tiny clusters of pink and white flowers that they picked from the surrounding meadow.
The god sat in his peaceful home, staring out at the distant road, to pedestrians, workhorses, and carriages, raining leaves that swirled around bustling feet. How long had it been? The world had progressed without him, for he knew there was no help to be given. The world must be a cruel place, that even the useful gods have abandoned, if farms can flood, harvests can run barren, and homes can burn, he thought.
He had come to understand that humans are senseless creatures, who would pray to a god that cannot grant wishes or bless upon them good fortune. Who would maintain a temple and bring offerings with nothing in return. Who would share their company and meditate with such a fruitless deity. Who would bury a stranger without the hope for profit. What bizarre, futile kindness they had wasted on him. What wonderful, foolish, virtuous, hopeless creatures, humans were.
So he painted the sunset with yellow leaves, enticed the worms to dance in their soil, flourished the boundary between forest and field with blossoms and berries, christened the air with a biting cold before winter came, ripened the apples with crisp, red freckles to break under sinking teeth, and a dozen other nothings, in memory of the man who once praised the godâs work on his dying breath.
âHello, God of Every Humble Beauty in the World,â called a familiar voice.
The squinting corners of the godâs eyes wept down onto curled lips. âArepo,â he whispered, for his voice was hoarse from its hundred-year mutism.
âI am the god of devotion, of small kindnesses, of unbreakable bonds. I am the god of selfless, unconditional love, of everlasting friendships, and trust,â Arepo avowed, soothing the other with every word.
âThatâs wonderful, Arepo,â he responded between tears, âIâm so happy for youâsuch a powerful figure will certainly need a grand temple. Will you leave to the city to gather more worshippers? Youâll be adored by all.â
âNo,â Arepo smiled.
âFarther than that, to the capitol, then? Thank you for visiting here before your departure.â
âNo, I will not go there, either,â Arepo shook his head and chuckled.
âFarther still? What ambitious goals, you must have. There is no doubt in my mind that you will succeed, though,â the elder god continued.
âActually,â interrupted Arepo, âIâd like to stay here, if youâll have me.â
The other god was struck speechless. ââŚ. Why would you want to live here?â
âI am the god of unbreakable bonds and everlasting friendships. And you are the god of Arepo.â
I reblogged this once with the first story. Now the story has grown and Iâm crying. This is gorgeous, guys. This is what dreams are made of.
This is amazing!
Why the Twilight Fandom is Better then the Real Thing
So I need to rant here.
In hs, I was kinda sorta open about the fact that I read fanfiction. Nevermind that it was a catholic school and everyoneâs first thought was âthis chick reads porn!?âÂ
Eventually, I discovered the hidden gem that was the Twilight fandom.Â
Now I, like many embarrassed and mislead individuals, had read all the books and seen all the movies and even defended them for a time until I realized that yes, the entire franchise really is that bad. I paid my dues, threw away my books, and apologized to Kristen Stewart for blaming her for the awful character she was forced to portray.Â
Now, the Twilight fandom was a different thing entirely. Some of the best things in life are created through a very strong feeling of spite.Â
Nobody knew spite better then the former Twilight fans.
These works of fanfiction are fucking glorious! Weâve got the general Edward!bashing and Jacob!bashing. Weâve got Edwards who legitimately finds it creepy to break into a girls bedroom and watch her sleep and Bellas who donât find that shit romantic. Even better, we have Bellas with personality and a backbone! âBella Swan with a Backboneâ is an actual, verified tag on ao3!
People took Stephanie Meyersâ shitshow of a story and turned it into something worth reading!Â
For deeper reads, we also have stories that address Bellaâs depression in the second book. We see her getting help in healthy ways, even going to therapy! That was something that I would have benefited from seeing when I first read the books and saw the movies.Â
Bella became a character that I could actually relate to and respect.Â
So....... thank you Stephanie Meyers, for giving us such a shitty story that We took it and made it ours.

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we are not born to die!! what are you talking about!! do you think a book begins just to finish? do you think a song opens with a beautiful chord just for it to end? you donât read the book to finish it, you read the book to eat up the excitement and the emotions it evokes!! to learn and to digest and to fall in love and be heartbroken!! you listen to the song to dance and dance and sing your throat raw!!! to cry and smile and swell with the harmonies!! yes, we are born with the inevitable fate of death, we are mortal after all, but that is merely the finale of the play!! the final act, the closing of the curtains - we are not born to take a bow and exit stage left!! we are born to love and be joyous and yell and move and learn and cry and feelfeelfeel!!! we are not born to die, silly, weâre born to live!!!
This is so violently hopeful and uplifting everyone needs to see it
This kind of morning~
I canât stop drawing them, I just love them so much đ
(Yes theyâre aged up and adults here - like in most of my art about them)
(Didnât think Iâd dare post this on main but here we are đ slightly lemon! If you get that, youâre old like me đ)
IâM STILL SO EMOTIONAL OVER THIS SCENEÂ
I was trying to put my finger on why I like Haven even as the stakes increase and the timeline becomes a little (a lot) weird and shaky, and Iâm re-watching âThe Trial of Nathan Wuornos,â and I think Iâve just hit on it: moral ambiguity. Serious, actual moral ambiguity.Â
Thereâs a part of that episode where Audrey becomes just really pissed off that the âprosecutionâ is listing things that Nathan has done over the past two seasons and twisting them to be negative. Nathan points out that while they might have the intent wrong, he did do those things and they are negative. Not to Audrey, but from the point of view of this guy and the rest of the town, Nathanâs actions are inexcusable. He didnât mean to screw over the town, but the fact of the matter is, he did. And people are entitled to be pissed off about it. And yeah, other shows have done this, but they donât wrap it up in a neat little bow at the end. It doesnât even really get resolved; the town remains deeply divided over the issue of Audrey and even those that like are arenât 100% convinced that sheâs worth keeping the Troubles around. Mostly because the Troubles are killing other people and getting worse. And theyâre not necessarily portrayed as bad people for this, itâs just there. And thatâs true all the way up through the finale, even as theyâre fortifying the police precinct against Croatoan and racing to find a solution. Thereâs an underlying question of âdo the ends justify the means?â to the show that only intensifies as it nears the end. Audrey starts out as ânoâ but ends up increasingly in the âyesâ camp; Duke is usually in the ânoâ camp unless truly pressed. Nathan is definitely in the âyesâ camp, because his end always means Audrey is safe and screw the means by which they get there. But even though heâs a protagonist, thatâs not portrayed as a good thing. It makes him incredibly myopic and a huge freaking hypocrite. And I never get tired of people calling him out on that, by the way. Thatâs usually the kind of thing that only happens in fic because the protagonist is always supposed to be right, but Nathan is so often short-sighted and his solutions often create more problems. It was so satisfying in â301âł to hear Duke voice my own question about Nathanâs solution to the Trouble of the weekâwhatâs the moral difference between killing a person and allowing him to be essentially dead by having him abducted by his delusionâmostly because I was wondering that not two minutes before and did not expect the show to poke holes in its own logic. The show does not operate on the same protagonist-centered morality as many other shows, and when things go awry, they tend to stay awry and some of them donât get fixed so the heroes can be absolved. Also, I love that the answer to the question âdo the ends justify the means?â is no, they donât, because the end is an immovable outcome and it doesnât matter what the means are. Kind of a weird way to undercut the premise, but interesting in its own right. Iâm not usually into fate narratives, but I think âHavenâ handles it interestingly in that itâs not the actions the heroes take that is fated, just the necessary outcomeâthat Audrey goes into the void to end the troubles. Any means taken contrary to that are the wrong ones and can royally screw things up, leading to pain and suffering.Â
In case any of you are wondering why the storming of Capitol Hill âmattersâ
(I gave arson a half check because bombs were found at the scene but they donât know if they were ever functional.) Anyways yeah.
Because thereâs going to be absolutely no punishment/pushback at the white supremacists, theyâll know the government and law enforcement is on their side. Which means the next step in the âI Hate America Prejudiceâ Triangle is genocide. Thatâs why it matters.

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[Greg answering âhave Joe and Nicky ever been separated willingly or otherwise?â]
âUmâŚthey have never decided they need to take 'time offâ from one another. if thatâs what the question is. They⌠yknow, itâs a thousand years, there were a few days where they werenât side-by-side. [podcaster brings up Andyâs year off] Andy going off for 50 years or whatnot, thatâs an Andy thing. Joe and Nicky have never been apart for that long. They are absolutely in love with each other, and absolutely take comfort from each other. You know, one of the things Iâm actually hoping to get to in a second film is that theyâre not identical. They can disagree. they can fight with each other. That doesnât mean that they love each other any less, or that their relationship is in jeopardy. Iâm not a fan of the trope that says 'as soon as people hook up the drama is goneâ because obviously those are people whoâve never been married. I have no interest (âŚ) Iâm not gonna break them up. Why would I do that? Thatâs not who they are. They can be really pissed at each other. But theyâ neither of them would for a second feel that theyâre wrong for how they feel for one another.â
Extended Art Painted Pokemon Cards made by DewFalls
So this is kind of awesome
Why Iâm not Catholic Anymore
As a Catholic, one of the tenets I was supposed to live by was âFear of the Lordâ. He leveled Sodom and Gamora, asked Abraham to murder his son, killed the firstborn children in Egypt, flooded the entire world. Any act of goodwill that I preformed felt tainted by either a false feeling of superiority or fear of what was waiting for me after I died if I wasnât charitable.
 âThe Lord is my Shepherd and I shall not wantâ. Did that make me a sheep?Â
A faith based on fear isnât faith.Â
Massaman Curry
Words are like swords theyâre lethal; so I left without a wordâŚ

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I just canât get over the fact that we live in an age where some of the best writing and storytelling iâve seen is from fan fiction. This is in no way shade to any of you who write them, because you all are fantastic and so incredibly gifted. But yâall do it for free. FOR FREE. Meanwhile thereâs people getting paid to write whatever the fuck this season is. Itâs just mind-blowing.
preaching to the damn choir
The 100 AU:
Sometimes itâs your darkest fear. Sometimes itâs your deepest desire. Sometimes itâs both.
Someone write a fanfictionÂ