#twilight bashing

"So..... You're a vampire?" the person asked.

"Yes?" Fredo had an inkling of where this was going, and he really didn't look forward to that.

"Do you sparkle?" The person asked again.

"No," said the Sanguine Duke, resigned to his fate.

"Twilight is better."

___________

"Yes?" Fredo had an inkling of where this was going, and he really didn't look forward to that.

"Do you sparkle?" The person asked again.

"No," said the Sanguine Duke, resigned to his fate.

"Twilight is better."

___________________________________________

Fredo Von Ejellan was so done with everything.

So I need to rant here.

In hs, I was kinda sorta open about the fact that I read fanfiction. Nevermind that it was a catholic school and everyone’s first thought was “this chick reads porn!?” 

Eventually, I discovered the hidden gem that was the Twilight fandom. 

Now I, like many embarrassed and mislead individuals, had read all the books and seen all the movies and even defended them for a time until I realized that yes, the entire franchise really is that bad. I paid my dues, threw away my books, and apologized to Kristen Stewart for blaming her for the awful character she was forced to portray. 

Now, the Twilight fandom was a different thing entirely. Some of the best things in life are created through a very strong feeling of spite. 

Nobody knew spite better then the former Twilight fans.

These works of fanfiction are fucking glorious! We’ve got the general Edward!bashing and Jacob!bashing. We’ve got Edwards who legitimately finds it creepy to break into a girls bedroom and watch her sleep and Bellas who don’t find that shit romantic. Even better, we have Bellas with personality and a backbone! “Bella Swan with a Backbone” is an actual, verified tag on ao3!

People took Stephanie Meyers’ shitshow of a story and turned it into something worth reading! 

For deeper reads, we also have stories that address Bella’s depression in the second book. We see her getting help in healthy ways, even going to therapy! That was something that I would have benefited from seeing when I first read the books and saw the movies. 

Bella became a character that I could actually relate to and respect. 

Duncan: Oh.

Quigley: No wonder you saw those Twilight movies so many times.

“So…can I ask some questions?” Tony asked.

“Ask, it doesn’t bother me. Much.”

“Garlic?”

“Love it.”

“Good thing since it runs in this Italian blood of mine that you seem to like so much. Um, stake in the heart?”

“That would ruin anyone’s day.”

Tony grinned. “Coffin?”

“No back support. Incredibly uncomfortable.”

"You don't sparkle, do you?"