the thing that really charms me about armand getting a bunch of modern kitchen appliances and just putting random shit through them in queen of the damned is that those chapters are from daniel's point of view. armand has a human companion. a human companion with whom he seems to spend approximately every waking moment. he has a perfectly valid reason to learn to cook. he could cook for his beloved pet amateur journalist who eats human food. like. you know what's a fun thing to put in a toaster oven? toast. and then daniel has some toast to eat. but no. dead rat.

EMBRACE PROFOUND PLATONIC DEVOTION

Everybody in the club Yield to my will

Remember to kill everything in your way today no hesitation

taylor swift would release a 30th special edition of the tortured poets department to block the vampire lestats spot on the billboard chart and within 24 hrs travis kelce would go missing

I am the surgeon & I am the patient & I am the technician handing over the scalpel & I am the scalpel & I am the pervert touching themselves in the corner

I love characters who would die for each other but will not, under any circumstances, communicate a single honest feeling.

the two headed calf smoking twice as many marlboro red core packs as usual

it gets to a point that is just weirder if they didn't fuck

you did all this and it was not even because you wanted to bang him? weirdo

t shirt that says I PUT A NORMAL AMOUNT OF THOUGHT INTO STUFF

identifying a maladaptive coping mechanism is so bitter sweet like that’s great now i know what i need to stop doing. but that’s literally my something

tortured. sickly. bisexual.

If I got locked in “the room you can only leave if the two of you have sex” i would immediately ask the other lesbian to use it as a research opportunity where we perform various acts of slowly increasing intimacy to find where the line between what is sex and what is not sex is drawn by the room

I have to do something drastic. Well maybe I don't but that's how I feel