[REDACTED]

Girl whose most frequent mistake is inaction voice: wow I keep making mistakes I better not do anything

my sister and her husband go see new movies a lot and a place near the theater they go to does $5 margaritas on monday so they’ve started doing marg movie mondays where they go see a movie and get a marg but they call the margaritas different things based on what they’re seeing. as far as naming goes “wuthering margs” was a little bit of a miss for me but it was preceded by “margipliers” when we saw iron lung so thats kind of a lot to live up to

Leather fetishes are back in cuz everything is polyester these days.. touching real HQ material in 2026 is enough to give anyone a little sexual zing

MY FINGERS BARELY EVEN TOUCHED YOUR STUPID FUCKING AD STOP REDIRECTING ME TO THE APP STORE

If the bellboy scene taught me anything, it's that hollanov are always down for some silly impromptu roleplay action. Shane reads a Buzzfeed listicle about Top Ten Fun Questions To Ask Your Partner that he stores away in his brain until one day he randomly asks Ilya If I was an animal, what animal would I be? and Ilya immediately answers Bunny. Itty bitty bunny rabbit who runs very very fast. And Shane huffs and kicks him because No, I mean like a serious answer, actually think about it. And Ilya grabs the foot that Shane tried to kick him with by the ankle and says I am serious. It is very serious matter. I would not lie about bunny Shane. And Shane's rolling his eyes but his mouth is twitching when he says What does that make you, then? A wolf? and Ilya slooowly grins his most devious grin before he rolls over and pounces on Shane, grappling him onto his back as he says, Oh, yes, yes I am big bad wolf and you are cute little bunny. And Shane is squirming and flushing in that way he always does when he tries to wriggle his way out from under Ilya and Ilya just holds him down harder, but then he's biting his lip and going lax because: Oh, Mr Wolf, what big teeth you have~ and Ilya's grin gets even bigger (and, okay, maybe it IS a little wolf-like) and he makes his voice go all deep and growly as he says: All the better to eat you with. And then he's attacking Shane's neck with great sucking kisses mixed in-between small sharp nips that make Shane giggle and thrash and yelp, ankles kicking against the mattress as he tries to wrestle Ilya off of him, but the big bad wolf has got the little rabbit in his jaws now and he's not letting go.

just found out that accidentally in love by counting crows was literally made for shrek. they didnt just choose it. it didnt exist before. they asked counting crows to make a song for shrek 2 and thats how we got one of the best songs ever made. insane.

counting crows knew shrek 2 would become one of the best movies ever made and had to act accordingly

i think what i hate about the phrase "golden retriever boyfriend" is that none of these men deserve to be compared to the humble golden retriever

I've met your boyfriend. he's more of a leg humping toy poodle with resource guarding issues than a golden retriever tbh