An Absolute Mess

haha yeah man female dogs are bitchy and female horses are bitchy and female cats are bitchy and female ferrets are bitchy and female rats are bitchy and female guinea pigs are bitchy and female birds are bitchy and female rabbits are bitchy and female everything is bitchy. lol! isn’t it so funny how you think that! isn’t it so silly that this is your perception of literally every species! haha! i’m sure there’s nothing to unpack there! i’m sure you’re 100% accurate and unbiased in your conclusion that female animals are just inherently evil! i’m sure you have very normal thoughts about human women too! teehee! isn’t everyone laughing! isn’t it so goofy!

talking to offline friends about your online drama is good, because they’re like “not only does this not matter, but it’s actively pissing me off that you’re talking about this.” and then talking to hyper online friends is the opposite, because they’ll be like “omggg it was horrible, they dragged your corpse into the public square and everyone was taking turns pissing in your mouth!”

and it's like, okay can you at least describe it in a way that isn't hot?

yo mr white can you sign my permission slip so i can go to the aquarium bitch

jesse. you need money to enter jesse.

yo mr white can i have $5 to go to the aquarium it's for school bitch

jesse. do you want some money for the gift shop jesse.

yeah mr white. can i have money to get lunch there too please. bitch

of course jesse. bring me back a cuttlefish plush jesse

you got it mr white

thank you jesse

Watch out boys we got a city slicker

The window visual did me in I’m wheezing

NO

WELP

I haven’t seen this in years and yet it is burned into my memory forever.

This is on the short list of Eternal Reblog because it’s fucking legendary.

An honourable candidate for the @hellsite-hall-of-fame

sometimes the nut doesn't bring any clarity at all no matter how hard you bust it. the delirium only deepens.

i got that dog in me but it's poorly socialized and i don't take it on as many walks as i should

that looks like a condom and the fact that everyone in the notes is saying “the orb” proves that no one on this website fucks

the fuck kinda bouncy-ball ass condoms are you using

the fact that someone thinks that looks like a condom is proof that no one on this website fucks

5 reblog additions later and this post is still best summarized by "no one on this website fucks"