what is this from
the titanic
I FUCKING FORGOT I QUEUED THIS
For all who celebrate man’s hubris!

if i look back, i am lost
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@everchanging-encyclopedia
what is this from
the titanic
I FUCKING FORGOT I QUEUED THIS
For all who celebrate man’s hubris!

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hi everyone it is the 5th of april 2023 as i am writing this. someone just posted this in a discord server and i wanna see if apollo's gift of prophesy has struck.
You can only reblog this today.
I missed my chance last year. Not gonna let it happen again
2023 Tumblr simulator:
(keep scrolling down your dash)
2024 tumblr simulator:
(keep scrolling down your dash)
2025 tumblr simulator:
(keep scrolling down your dash)
queue this post when it’s your birthday and be surprised

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green day song of the day #1: still breathing (spotify, youtube)
I once had a landlord offhandedly mention that his mother had set this house on fire before. He and his wife lived on the first floor, and i rented the third.
Apparently his mom didn’t like his wife. So she set their house on fire. The house i was living in.
He assured me that everything was fine now and that this was years ago, just kinda laughed, smiled, and said ‘You know how moms are’
Yes. I know how moms are. I know how fucked up moms are as well. I have known many fucked up moms and fellow children of fucked up moms.
Attempted murder through arson is not typical mom behavior, even for a fucked up abusive mom
Oh, and his mother lived next door 🙃
There were two houses next door to each other, both owned by the same family. They had lived there for decades, and for my landlord it was also his childhood home. Each house had three floors that acted as separate units. Every unit in the two houses was occupied by members of the extended family— except for me. I was the oddball living in the attic of one of the houses.
This is the family dynamic i was tossed into
HOUSE ONE
1st floor— landlord and his wife
2nd floor— identical twin sister of landlord’s wife, occasionally children (not clear whose)
3rd floor— me ☺️
HOUSE TWO
1st floor— landlord’s mother, who previously set house 1 on fire
2nd floor— adult daughter of twin sister, her young kids, and current man (changes of man signified by throwing clothes out of window)
3rd floor— creepy brother of the twin sisters who is always outside working on his van
Yes, the rent was dirt cheap
The rent was so cheap that i usually paid in cash— ATM fees were about the same as money orders (and i didn’t have checks)
Then one day my landlord is in his truck, pulling out the driveway when he stops and asks
‘Hey— you haven’t been short on rent these last few months, have you?’
No… I had been paying in full, on time
To his wife. In cash
He wasn’t normally home when i would go to pay rent, so i would give it to her. Figured it was the same as giving it to him.
Turns out instead she was pocketing $100 off the top and telling him i was short each month.
And he knew it was happening. He just wanted to confirm.
‘Each month she makes it her little pay day! Well you know how wives are’
Sir, you need to reevaluate the women in your life because this level of stealing and attempted murder is not normal
“You know how moms/wives are” is a statistical error. Landlord Georg, whose wife and mother steal from and attempt to kill him, respectively, was a outlier and should not be counted
Additional fun fact! The reason he was hard to get a hold of? He worked a crazy schedule that always changed.
He was a hospital chef. Oh. And a wedding dj. He tried many, many times to hire me to help work dj events for him.
I would politely decline
lot of people are going to be sent careening three posts down their dash and crashing into a brick wall because of this post
trying to be a writer is so scary. like what if I’m actually a Wronger
my parents are on holiday in their mobile home
they're expected back this upcoming weekend
I just spent ten days in my childhood home to keep an eye on things
I have hidden 100 small yellow ducks all over the house
I am very excited for my parents to be back
a first update: we have a neighbour who empties the mailbox while my parents are away and this morning I got a notification from our front door camera and watched said neighbour find what I know to be a tiny yellow duck in the mailbox (the camera is too far away to actually see), stare at it for a moment, and place it carefully back inside the mailbox
THE FIRST DUCK HAS BEEN FOUND
They just came home after a friend's birthday party and I'm guessing went straight to bed, because my dad just sent a photo to the family group chat of the duck I placed on his bed with only the caption "thank you 😘" which makes me suspect they haven't found any of the others yet. Or noticed that this one has a number on the bottom.
Tomorrow they're going to find more of them and realise what they're in for and that's when the real joy begins.
I just spent half an hour on the phone with my dad mostly giggling maniacally while he complained at me. He thought it was a singular duck and then went to get fresh PJs and "another bloody duck" fell out and now he can't rest until he has found as many as possible. It is half an hour to midnight, he is prowling the house trying to spot more ducks, and he begrudgingly admitted he still loves me anyway. My mother is significantly less invested but not caring does not protect you from The Ducks. I am absolutely ecstatic with how this is going.
If I ever need to explain my parents' different personalities to somebody who does not know them, it will be like this: my dad, upon finding the second duck in his pyjamas, refused to believe that there would be more of them, and then went absolutely feral with the hunting instincts of a particularly determined bloodhound. He found 40 of them within about an hour. He has created an Excel sheet to keep track of which ones are still missing (I wrote numbers on the bottom of each duck). He keeps calling me to swear at me and then grumble that he still loves me.
He did not appreciate it when I told him about zookeepers throwing a pumpkin full of meat into a tiger enclosure.
My mother, on the other hand, thinks the whole thing is hilarious. She loves the ducks. She has accepted the ducks. She's sad that my dad insists on collecting the ducks because she thinks they should just stay where they are and become part of the decor. "I reckon I will find them when I find them," she says. I told her that I had to replace one because the original number 4 dropped on the tiles and got decapitated and she thinks I should dramatically stage it next time I visit.
[Image descriptions in alt text]
This is genius well done. Please tell me you labeled them 1-101 while skipping, say, 37, affording your father days of pleasure trying to find Duck 37.

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the “bad guys” in hallmark movies end up always being the most respectful men ever.
because they will find out their girlfriend of 3 years (that they were about to propose to) went off to a random farm in minnesota, hours away from were the two of them built a life together, and she decided to just… stay there without even consulting him.
and then he decides to take a trip to make sure she’s okay, because this is generally alarming behavior, and then sees that she literally fell in love with her ex within one (1) week- and he wasn’t there, but you can TELL that they’ve made out a couple times.
and then she just strings him along for a few days, until fucking christmas eve, when she just breaks up with him and is like “i know we used to have the same values, but i’ve never loved you. mark makes me happier than you ever did. and you ONLY care about work, whereas i like christmas and fun, like a Good Person.”
and then, after finding out his entire relationship was a lie and he had his life turned upside down in a week and he got dumped on christmas, this guy’s just like “ok yeah that makes sense. i only wish you the best of happiness with mark. i hope you guys build a great life together in christmastreefarmville. thank you for everything.”
An AU where two Hallmark Christmas Bad Guys are both getting flights back to New York after being dumped by their respective Smalltown Blonde Girlfriends, and they bond over their shared experiences and fall in love in the departures lounge
@teashoesandhair your wish is my command :)
Probably, Levi should be more upset.
Probably he is still in shock. Right? He looks out of his taxi window (it's not technically a taxi, just some guy named Corey who offered him a ride to the airport, because Uber doesn't operate in fucking Tinyville, Bumfuck Middle-Of-Nowhere, Utah) and tracks water droplets racing each other down the glass, because of course it's raining, and his bad knee is killing him.
Levi sniffs and rubs at his eyes and then pulls out his phone and books a ticket back to New York, wincing as four hundred and twenty-six dollars are deducted from his bank account.
And, like, he should definitely be more upset.
He just got broken up with. He was engaged, for God's sake. A four-year relationship… over. Just like that.
Corey says, "Ten minutes to the station."
IOS users and Patreon. Big old heads up.
"Apple is requiring that Patreon use their in-app purchasing system and remove all other billing systems from the Patreon iOS app by November 2024. This means that starting in November, new memberships purchased in the iOS app will be subject to Apple's 30% App Store fee.
First, we want to be clear about one thing: this will not impact your existing memberships at all. Apple's App Store fee only applies to new memberships purchased in the iOS app beginning in November 2024."
Apple users, if you make your pledges through your browser you can dodge this fee.
This is just apple doing its usual nickel and diming to take a slice of every pie.
Apple requires that Patreon switch to their iOS in-app purchase system, or risk being removed from the App Store. Here’s what’s creators nee
Always pledge through your web browser! Whether on desktop or mobile.
Any time you pay via an app downloaded from the App Store when a website version exists, you're either paying a higher price than everyone else, or the person you're trying to pay is giving up a huge cut of their earnings to Apple - which usually requires them to raise prices across the board.
my hearing has been aided and holy shit is this how you guys hear all the time
I can hear the birds calling to eachother!! im sat inside my house and I can still hear them!!
my cats purrs are so loud...I never knew how happy he was when I petted him 😭😭
bees have such nice buzzes!!!!!
rustling leaves sound nice. motorbikes do not
I can hear the river running through my village...this world has so many beautiful and amazing sounds
if you rub your hands on a leather sofa. that sounds excellent
gravel sounds fantastic btw. go kick some gravel immediately
CRUNCHY LEAVES
I still can't get over jinx purring. I never knew how happy he was or how much he loves me. he's been purring since I got home, every time I say hi to him. my husband says he's always purring like that, I just never heard it before
thank you @dwiwediblino for suggesting a clicky keyboard. I just tried it out and what a FANTASTIC sound
Have you heard the pitter patter sound of your cats toes yet? Always enjoy that sound
yes!! when we came home and I called him downstairs for some food I heard him leap off the bed I think and his excited patters down the stairs
food in frying pans really do be sizzling...
the sound of old crinkly book pages oh my GOD I have found my new favourite sound
went down to the village river and it was so nice!! the river is pretty low rn because of the lack of rain but when it rains lots I want to go back and see it go fast and hear it
also! hearing the rustle of grass as I walk through it!
and and and i threw a stone into the water and it made a very satisfying splash sound :)
What do you think of this noise?
that's such a funny sound I need to get some sheets of metal and laminate some paper immediately omg
popped my hearing aid on when I woke up and just listened to my husband breathe next to me. he's here, I get to wake up next to my best friend every day. he's alive. he loves me.
then he started snoring very loudly and it was even worse with the amplified sound
you guys can hear the ticking of watches?? they're so loud!!
when you light a cigarette and you hear a faint crackle as the dried leaves catch fire. very good.
I was hanging my washing outside and I shook out a pillowcase to hang it up and it made a very good whoosh sound with a slightly sharp crack!
the crackling sound of a candle wick being lit!! what a fun noise!!
a bird landed on the tree branches above my head and I heard it!! I thought birds were silent but theyre not!!
heard my neighbour come home from his daily bike ride and the bike made a clicking sound??? :0
im outside in my garden with my easel doing some painting and I was drawing on the easel and it makes a scratchy noise?! the pencil was scratching! it makes a very good sound indeed!!
all of you who were suggesting a cold drink over some ice...you were all so right for that
sizzling barbecues!! loud and fun!! different foods make different sizzles
I CAN HEAR THUNDER THERES SO MANY DIFFERENT PITCHES TO IT WOWOWOWOWOWOOWOWOWWOW
IT ACTUALLY RUMBLES!!! JUST LIKE IN THE BOOKS!!!!!!
TIME TO REVIVE THIS POST. I heard lambs the other day and they make really sweet noises. I also went for a walk around a local nature reserve yesterday and heard lots of birds. and I met a dog who said "boof" at me. im still absolutely bowled over by the sound of the sea. in my job I rip up a lot of cardboard boxes and I enjoy the noise.
i think of this video once a week
Transcription: A man stands in front of the camera with the caption “A story time from when I was a girl” next to him and trans flags adorning the video. “Ayo, let me give y’all a story time. You know I’m transgender, I was born a girl I transitioned into a man but let me give y’all a story time from when I was a girl. So, me and all my stud friends, we getting ready to go to this party we all dressed in all white. One of my friends decided like, ‘Ay y’all, let’s all wear our straps to the party.’ So we all dumb, ‘Aight, bet!’ So, we all wear it to the party. We get to the party, it’s a basement party, back in the day, you know what I’m saying, so, nobody can really see. So, this girl get to twerking on me, she feeling me, giving me her number, dadadadada (said to mean etc.) We meet up after the party at her house, me and all my friends. So, we all go into seperate rooms dadadadada. So, we did what we had to do. So, I ain’t talk to shawty for like, two and a half months and I get a random text from this number like, ‘Yeah, like I been trying to call you and talk to you.’ And I’m like, ‘For what?’ you know what I’m saying, [I’m trying to] ignore you, like, it was a one night thing. She’s like, ‘Yeah, I’m pregnant and it’s your baby dadadadada…’ And I’m like, ‘Shawty, I’m a girl.’ and like, showing her pictures of like, what, me in a sports bra. No, she like ‘No, that’s your sister I’m not stupid I know who I had sex with that night.’ Um, so, to this day I got a child out there. Hey son-”
finally. the first transmasc absentee father
diversity win, cis men no longer have monopoly on absentee fatherhood!
btw dating sucks as a concept.
meeting up with someone with the explicit goal of figuring out whether or not you want a relationship with them spoils the dynamic. it sucks. it's terrible. fall in love with your friends like normal people.
as expected this one is a hit with the autism website

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scurvy has got to have one of the biggest disease/treatment coolness gaps of all time. like yeah too much time at sea will afflict you with a curse where your body starts unraveling and old wounds come back to haunt you like vengeful ghosts. unless☝️you eat a lemon
all goofing aside I genuinely don't understand the urge to reimagine Taylor Allison Swift as a secretly queer icon when the pop music scene(TM) is like. literally overflowing with women who actually like women. Gaga and Kesha and Miley and Halsey are right there. Rina Sawayama and Hayley Kiyoko and Rebecca Black and Kehlani and Victoria Monét and Miya Folick if you're willing to get slightly less top 100. Janelle and Demi for them nonbinary takes on liking girls. like what are we doing here. like I'm not even saying you can't enjoy Taylor but why would you hang all your little gay hopes on her.
Isn’t Lady Gaga bisexual?
yes that is indeed why she's on the list of famous women who like women
why have multiple people reblogged this with some horse-assed "um actually most of these people are bi or pan" did I fucking stutter I said they like girls. what is your point. I'm going to kill you.
#op probably has this post muted but the icon is too real.
the icon is because of this post
POV: you make a good post and then encounter tumblr reading comprehension
btw to just clarify for anyone who sees this reblog of this post
op is basically saying something along the lines of "yea ik taylor swift is bi but like. why is she y'all's only lgbtq+ pop icon when there are all these other lgbtq+ people in the pop scene???"
i might have worded this badly but hopefully i got the main point across
hi op here I certainly did not fucking say Taylor Swift is bi
Op is saying that liking Taylor for being QUEER or Lgbtqia+ is not a bad thing, but to also know she is not the only one.
He did not call anyone in the original post lesbian bi or pan.
He did call two people NB
you have to be fucking with me there's no way
#Op you gonna have to make a graph
on it:
op: carrots are not fruits. raspberries and apples and blueberries and pears and lingonberries are fruits. i’m not saying you can’t enjoy carrots but why would you hang all your fruitsalad hopes on it
idiot 1: aren’t raspberries berries?
op: yes that is indeed why it’s on the list of fruit
op: why have multiple people reblogged this with “umm actually most of these are berries”. did i fucking stutter i said they’re fruits. i’m going to kill you
idiot 2: btw just to clarify op is saying “yeah i know carrots are a fruit but there are other fruits too”
op: where in the sweet mary mother of cunt did i say that carrots were a fruit
idiot 3: op is saying that liking carrots for being fruits isn’t a bad thing, but to also know they are not the only fruit
op:
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Closest match: Pyrausta purpuralis genome assembly, chromosome: 22 Common name: Common Purple & Gold
(image source)
oh my god a beautiful moth.... post now justified good work everyone