SkippyJonJones Lookin Ass

How do you go through all the effort of setting up a sous vide to do this????

never tell me that magic isnt real ever again when this is clear evidence of a person transmogrifing Meat into Wood

i can transmogrify meat into wood by lookin at pictures of titties if ya get what im sayin

hey, we all love tiddies here but this person has perpetrated a crime against nature and we need you stay focused

you have to love trans women more than you hate transmisogyny, you have to love jews more than you hate antisemitism, you have to love Black people more than you hate white supremacy, you have to love Indigenous people more than you hate colonialism, you have to love the disabled and mentally ill more than you hate ableism, you have to love. you have to love.

Thank a sanitation worker for their service.

it really is crazy how there are so many influencers with millions of followers i have never heard of in my life

every day someone is like ‘have you heard about the situation with johnny youtube?’ and i go. pardon. who the hell is that

The sheer roundness of this kitten must be admired.

fuck like a green onion

you can’t give lana del rey more than 50 all time classics

i know folks are gonna call me a pedo for this one, but i grew up seeing my mom and grandma naked. they had health issues and at times needed care and help showering. and i truly think more kids need to be shown the nonsexual reality of naked women at a young age. there is nothing sexual about my grandmothers breasts, they were simply body parts. more women die of heart attacks because people are too afraid of breasts to do real chest compressions, because they are scared to touch their breasts. the sexualization of our bodies literally kills us. i need people to be more normal about naked bodies and i'm 100% serious.

I grew up around naked old people who weren't even my family! Gasp! And it was a good thing. I grew up around old-school hippies at a place called Lothlorien (in Indiana) and one of my friends dads held a sauna day every Sunday in the middle of the woods (like you cannot drive to their house, you park about a quarter mile away and walk into the woods kind of woods). All day random old people came to get naked, high (pot), and sweaty. Just random old peen and boobs swaying with the leaves. No big deal. These are things that I believe made me more at home in my body, made me more excited about aging, made me more willing to fight for my security and safety.

Bodies are just bodies. Nothing sacred and nothing inherently shameful or sinful either. The fact that we still can't get that through everyone in however many years it's been is just fucking idiotic.

I want all animals to become sapient enough to produce art specifically because I want to see what sort of sex homunculus caricature each species would create if given the ability to draw

Like we've already got the anime waifu with the needle-waist and watermelon-bazonkas and borzoi-legs and bug-eyes. Now show me a fucked-up stupid beetle as drawn by a horny beetle. I want to see what a cartoonishly sexy lion looks like according to lions. I want to see the most ridiculous drawing of a peahen that would have the peacocks squaring up by the fountain.

We give this power to ostriches and they just start drawing people

Why is it that every time I google something like "Are olives poisonous to cats" the top results are always like "Fun fact: Cats are carnivores! This means that they eat meat. There is no reason to include olives in a cat's diet. You should feed your cat cat food, which is dry or wet food especially designed for cats. You can purchase this at a store." like is there a single person alive on the planet who's googled "Are blueberry muffins safe for cats" because they're planning on switching their cat to a muffin-only diet??? No, I'm asking because the little bastard somehow popped open the packet while I was putting away the groceries and dragged one under the couch before I could react and now I need to know if I should call the after-hours vet. "Cats should not eat spaghetti." NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!!!! "Try to keep human food away from cats." i live in a studio apartment with a completely silent and permanently hungry apex predator who has the intelligence of a toddler and the desperate Machiavellian cunning of a creature who spent his formative months on the streets. He can already open doors and he is this 👌 close to learning how to open the microwave. He is stronger than me and covered in knives. So im gonna do my best but for the moment i just need you to tell me whether this yoghurt is going to kill my son y/n

everytime u go outside ur spending $60 automatically its crazy $60 is the new $20

Stop buying food and coffee and make it at home. I'm begging everyone.

ok well i filled up my car with gas and got cat food for my cats so idk how this applies to me also the “don’t buy coffee anymore” thing is rlly annoying from ppl acting like buying coffee is the reason ppl r struggling to keep purchases under 20 dollars instead of capitalism inflating prices for shareholders to buy another five houses like. eventually yall gotta stop doing the “no more avacado toast!” thing to ppl bc there is no budgeting that is enough to outrun inflation

my couchsona

I would buy this and cover it in weird plush and sleep on it every night.

interview with the masquerade

vampire: the vampire

bilf (book i'd like to finish)