For those of you confused about why it’s “nearly all children” that’s because children born to foreign diplomats and children born on foreign owned boats in US waters aren’t citizens because the constitution says citizenship applies to people born in the US and subject to the jurisdiction thereof. Diplomats and people on foreign owned boats aren’t subject to the jurisdiction of the US government.

reblog if its friday and you made it

I’m getting ads telling me to replace live porch flowers with plastic ones because the plastic ones don’t die and buddy I can tell you from personal experience that those flowers will fade until they look like they’ve achieved a new kind of death

how the hell do i talk to people

Stand in front of them and press A

hbo max blocks screenshots even when I use the snipping tool AND firefox AND ublock which is a fucking first. i will never understand streaming services blocking the ability to take screenshots thats literally free advertising for your show right there. HOW THE HELL IS SOMEBODY GONNA PIRATE YOUR SHOW THROUGH SCREENSHOTS. JACKASS

somewhere out there is a guy who meticulously takes screenshots of every individual frame of his favorite tv shows and then painstakingly etches each one onto a roll of film which he puts into his old timey projector and recreates the footage as a silent film with his own lavishly hand-lettered dialogue cards and original score that he plays on his upright piano and charges audiences one shiny penny a play. at last, big media has finally outsmarted ol' Zachary Zoetrope

This also fixes screen sharing to other screens. It has been GODSEND

ol' Zachary Zoetrope is back in business!

the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive

Come to think of it, it really is insane that my entire country is burning alive and literally no one in the rest of the world cares. Thousands of Indians are dying every day from the heat, it's 45+ degrees in multiple areas, the government couldn't give two fucks, we're getting severe warnings and red alerts, and not a soul outside of South Asia is speaking about it because why would you ever care about brown people

So today on the local news they covered that the US men’s soccer team beat Australia but the news anchors didn’t get nearly as excited about that as they did about the report about the local zoo releasing more endangered lizards into the wild and frankly I agree with them

You’ve heard of shipping Lestrade and Mycroft despite them barely knowing each other, now get ready for Molly Hooper x Irene Adler

resurrected dead wife watching her own montage: wow I looked so hot in that

So today on the local news they covered that the US men’s soccer team beat Australia but the news anchors didn’t get nearly as excited about that as they did about the report about the local zoo releasing more endangered lizards into the wild and frankly I agree with them

To be fair, reintroducing endangered lizards back into the wild is far more relevant long term