ESFJ and MBTI

No idea to be honest. I thought I was when I started this blog. I definitely acted like one in Highschool.

Speaking personally, I am so influenced by people around me. Far too much. It's like feeling actual guilt when your friends are upset. That you didn't do something to help, that you can't help. Even if it's completely unrelated to you.

I get this question a lot. Like a lot. Saying that ESFJs don’t get/understand/use sarcasm. And, as one the of single most salty and sarcastic people on this whole wide planet, I can tell you: we most certainty can be. Sarcasm is not something that I believe can be encapsulated by Myers Briggs. Types of sarcasm may be type specific, and some types might be more likely to be sarcastic than others, but overall, it’s not a type trait. 

Types with high Fe might be wary of using sarcasm because they don’t want to hurt/offend people, or are over-sensitive about it. However, some Fe types may find it is an effective way to relate to people. You can’t just go around hugging and complimenting everyone and being all cheery... but you can go around being sarcastic, salty and banter-y with the majority of the population. And to be honest, it’ll probably go better for both parties. After certain events in my younger years, I certainly found this to be a better way to bond with people, to quickly build friendships and to create a sense of unity. In fact, it’s the only thing that’s ever really “worked” for me. Other tactics went down.... poorly. But I say that as an Aussie ESFJ how has been raised in that environment, so it works for me. 

In short, what I am saying is: I am a mean, salty, and extremely sarcastic ESFJ, but an ESFJ nonetheless. It necessary to look at why, when and how people are using sarcasm to help understand their type, not IF they are using sarcasm. Motivation is key in understanding MBTI, the output can sometimes be deceiving. 

Thoughts? 

ESFJ’s, and most high Fe types, have a tendency to love wide and fast.They love people who they have almost no connection to and they love lots of people. Big circles of people who they share a true but slightly shallow love with. But it takes a long time to make an Fe love deep. For them to move past the people-pleasing, acts of service love to a more pure love that is just them being desperate to spend time with you. You know an ESFJ or Fe loves you when they want things from you. When they want your love back. When they are selfish instead of just giving. When they do things for you but they expect and desire love in return. Fe truly loves when Fe wants to be loved in return.

I’m slightly unsure about how Fi love in comparison, perhaps slow but deep. Loving small amounts of people in great abundance? I can not say for certain but it would certainly make sense. I’d be interested to see an Fi’s opinion on this. Please, add you thoughts. 

I’ve been thinking about this and I made a post on it a while back that I deleted but I’d like to pop the idea back out there. Fi judges a situation on what they personally believe is right and wrong. Fe judges a situation on what they perceive to be right and wrong. Internal vs External. But if an Fi has been taught beliefs that align with the same society and Fe has been living in (and perceiving) then it will look similar. Some examples are: 

Should I date my friends ex-boyfriend?

Fi: I would be upset if someone did that to me. So, no.

Fe: She’d be upset if i did that to her. So, no.

Is it okay to drink, just a little, if i am underage? 

Fi: I've done it before so I think it should be okay. Or I don’t think it will do me any harm

Fe: Everyone else is so it should be okay. It hasn’t done any harm to anyone else

Is it wrong to steal?

Fi: I personally, feel as if that is wrong. And I wouldn't want someone to steal from me.

Fe: Everyone knows stealing is wrong. No one else thinks its okay.

Hit me up with your thoughts on the topic. Ovbs there are good and bad aspects of both (Fe is too easily influenced sometimes, Fi is too self focused sometimes etc etc). Hope this helps some of you with understanding the differences AND similarities. 

So half of this is stolen from my previous posts but I wanted to compile it all for you so, here are some ways to understand an love your ESFJ friends (and mums). I intend to keep adding to it over time and please feel free to do the same via reblog or submission.

Attracting an ESFJ

1. Hello tradition and manners. We like them, we are not as picky as other SJ’s but don’t be fooled, manners go a long way in our books. If you are a guy trying to impress a girl this is key. Open the door, make the first move, treat her like a lady (without being patronizing), we won’t go hard core feminist on you (most of the time… maybe for a joke sometimes) But we really do find those things touching. Alternatively if you are a girl, LET HIM do that stuff. If you open the door for him or try turning his polite act around on him he will most likely just feel deflated and awkward. Its how we show we care. Srs tho. Chivalry is life.

2. Inside Jokes. Gotta love inside jokes. Something thats ours, in our little bubble. Something thats just you and them, that you mention casually and the little things you do to reference those inside jokes. And DON’T leave them out of other inside jokes, if you have them with other people, don’t reference them and then not explain, we hateeee to be left out.

3. People, people, people. People matter! Talk to them about your life, their life, good news you heard about a mate. Let them talk about their mates, their day, and don’t assume its gossip, we just like talking about people. We like to talk and it can be annoying but often we talk cause no one else will, but we like listening too. Nothings worse than feeling like you’re the only one talking.

4. Tell them little things about yourself, stupid little things. Silly little stories from your childhood, a little moment you had the other week. We love it, and it makes us feel a little closer to you. And if you can, remember the little things we tell you about us. Nothing means more. Little gifts that mean a lot, little moments of laughter, we do like to stop and smell the roses, to enjoy those little things. So let us.

5. Attention. We do like attention. Doesn’t everyone? Message us first, do little things like pay extra attention to us in a group, make time to see us. Don’t do that “cool-guy” thing where you ignore us and chat to all your friends to try and be mysterious and alluring or WHATEVER. Its not attractive and you’ll probs hurt our feelings and have us questioning everything.

6. Okay this seems obvious but never, ever, ever leave a conversation without properly saying goodbye. I’ve noticed a lot of people do this and for some bizarre reason think its okay to stop talking when the conversation drifts off.This. Kills. Our. Soul. Just please dear god never do that. It just makes us question what we’ve said to drive you off. But this is more general than just ESFJ’s.

7. We do like to be touched. On the arm, hand, joking pat on the head, a quick hug (if appropriate). Seems weird… don’t force it too much (and don’t overdo it :P), but its true. A little touch on the arm can mean a lot. Or a consensual cuddle.

8. Use your damn face. Show emotion for goodness sakes. If you are listening NOD YOUR HEAD, hold their eyes, smile, show emotion on your face. INTJ’s can be soooo hard to deal with because they show like no emotion and i ALWAYS worry i am boring them to DEATH and so i just stop talking. Show emotion.  

9. Show us how you feel. duh. We wanna know and if you don’t give us some indication our insecurity will kill your chances. Not even just how you feel about us. Show us how you feel about everything as you go along. #Fe

10. (Gotta be cliche) Be yourself. We are generally pretty accepting of everyone but being some fake robotic person will not get you far

Ways to Avoid hurting an ESFJ

1. They are not stupid. Never patronize an ESFJ. Sometimes we come across as childish, immature or incapable of deeper thought… but its just because we like to laugh and unwind by being playful. We do not enjoy the potential angst that serious topics can create and thus avoid them at times. We are often down for a deeper conversation though, if the opportunity arises.

2. They are affected by your emotions, even if they don’t show it. Every frown has us worried, every smile brings us joy. We can’t help it and sometimes we hate it. But the Fe emotions do fluctuate a lot depending on its environment.

3. They are sensitive. Be careful with playful humor that may hurt them. But don’t tip-toe around them either as we hate it when people treat us like babies. Be sensitive, but not patronizing.  

4. Never insult the people they love. ESFJs, like all, will react to this. But they are likely to be a lot more aggressive as they can be a bit like mums.

5. YOU ARE DIFFERENT (unless you’re an ESFJ). Remember that. You think and feel differently. Don’t try and understand. Just accept.

6. Don’t ever tell them they are “too much”. Never tell them to worry less, be less complimentary, be less talkative or call us annoying for doing these things. That hurts more than anything as that is a big part of how we show love.

7. Don’t call them a gossip or nosy for caring about people. Sometimes we gossip yes, and call us out for sure. BUT sometimes we care about people and we don’t know how to deal with them, or we are having a hard time and we just need to talk it through because of our Fe. The worst thing you could do is call it gossiping as that is NOT our heart behind it.

Helping a stressed ESFJ

Love them. Be there for them. Don’t try and “fix” or “solve” their problems unless they give you signs that they want you to, or its something small like making a meal. ESFJ’s are SJ’s and they have a way they like to do things, but their Fe will mean they won’t really tell you if you’re doing it wrong because they’ll be touched you’re trying to help… but you might make it worse. So be careful. More just try and be there to talk, to be present, to be understanding when they need help. Things like a meal, or some chocolate, or something like giving them a lift or whatever (something that there’s no way to mess up basically) can be super nice and really appreciated. Mostly as the love they will feel from that will help more than anything. A cuddle r hug or chat does some wondrous things. But also, space if they need. Exroverts need “me time” too. You have to judge it on a case-by-case basis, every ESFJ is different and reacts slightly differently.

Showing love for an ESFJ

1. We overthink things a lot, so soothing those thoughts is always very helpful.. and please don’t give us reasons to overthink. Be straight up, and honest. This is such a key.

2. Let us love you. We love to love. People love to love. So let us love you how we love you. By being an annoying mum friend or telling you off about not sleeping enough. By bringing you chocolate or by trying to talk to you about whats going on. We love as best we can and sometimes all you need to do is let us.

3. We love how we want to be loved, so pay attention. If you want to take care of your ESFJ, pay attention to how they love and take care of you.

4. We like to talk. A lot. We talk too much. We are very chatty. Let us be. Let us talk and talk back as well. We don’t want to talk AT you. We want to talk with you. So talk.

I know a lot of these things all seem very general and like they might apply to all types. In a way, they do. BUT theses are the BEST for ESFJ’s. Good for others, and other things are also good for ESFJs… But I think these are the best things you can do. Love you alll heaps. Thanks for your support

Okay. A couple of points. First, sorry about the late reply, I just had to leave tumblr for a bit to get my life in order as I was overly addicted. But onto the question:

Extroverts still need “me time”

Sometimes people forget about this, or don’t think its very important. Extroversion and Introversion is a spectrum. In the same way that introverts don’t want to spend ALL their time alone; extroverts don’t always want to be around people. If your friend is very busy and very stressed then she may be struggling to find that down time, so if she’s pulling away, don’t pressure her to talk or hang out. She still loves you and she’ll get back on track if you give her time. But that may not be the whole issue, so defiantly do not go AWOL on her. She’s still Fe, mostly try and let her talk if she needs, ask and be genuine but don’t push too hard. 

Stress may cause other functions to ‘take over’

In times of stress, different types can do a whole lot of things. They can get caught in the grip, the loop or just use their second functions a bit more than normal. I won’t go into too much depth in this but might do a post on it later. This can be healthy or VERY unhealthy. Fe isn’t actually that great at helping solve problems like organisation or school stress. So an ESFJ might start using their Si/Ne/Ti a bit more than normal. This could be positive development or it can be unhealthy squashing of Fe. Fe needs harmony so when that is not achievable they will try and get rid of stress through other functions OR ignore their Fe all together. The second is not very healthy. So if they are crying, breaking down, getting angry and basically having crazy emotions/no emotions AT ALL then this MAY be a sign of neglected Fe. BUT if they just seem more focused, directed and a little colder than usual, but still mostly content and still showing some Fe tenancies, this might be okay for them and necessary while dealing with stress. My Fe was like that during exams. I’d be worried if it was ongoing though. What they are doing might also tell you which of their functions they are relying on. If they’ve turned all Ti that’d also be a worry because that’s not a happy or natural state for an Fe dom. But a little big picture Ne or a little more Ti than normal is totally fine. You just gotta watch them and try and peg what they are doing and if its healthy. Feel free to ask me more specific questions on this.  

How to help a stressed out ESFJ

Love them. Be there for them. Don’t try and “fix” or “solve” their problems unless they give you signs that they want you to, or its something small like making a meal. ESFJ’s are SJ’s and they have a way they like to do things, but their Fe will mean they won’t really tell you if you’re doing it wrong because they’ll be touched you’re trying to help… but you might make it worse. So be careful. More just try and be there to talk, to be present, to be understanding when they need help. Things like a meal, or some chocolate, or something like giving them a lift or whatever (something that there’s no way to mess up basically) can be super nice and appreciated. But also, space if they need. You have to judge it on a case-by-case basis, every ESFJ is different and reacts slightly differently. 

Hope this helped and sorry again about the late reply. 

First, this annoys me big-time: 

Gossiping is not an ESFJ trait. 

Because of their personalities ESFJ’s enjoy talking about things that are happening in the now. Sometimes that turns into gossip and sometimes people just misunderstand our intentions. So yes, ESFJ’s might be slightly more prone to being gossips than other types but Gossip is NOT an ESFJ trait. Hate, hate, hate that stereotype. 

Similar with manipulation. Mostly though its important to remember that  MBTI is not about a pile of traits, its about how you think about the world, process information and how your brain and emotions work. The output of that may have patterns across the types, for sure, but you’re type doesn’t really give you any specific interests or traits. (see my post on this here) 

In terms of understanding other pov. It is also not about that per-say… but ESFJs are highly empathetic, so if you’re awful at emphasizing with people then I would question if you have Fe. And if so, what is inhibiting it? 

Next point, all ESFJ’s have an internal value system. ALL HUMANS have an internal value system. I also hate this misconception. It is simply that ESFJ’s internal values are focused on PEOPLE. So they would prefer stuff a sock in their nagging little voice that wants them to argue, debate (on what they believe is right and wrong) and keep the peace instead. Basically, even if an ESFJ thinks they are right, they might not say anything. This is because they would prefer someone else think they are right, but have peace and calmness than be right themselves and have discord. So of course they have their own values, their biggest value is just normally keeping people happy which often means not sharing other opinions and values. This has its good and bads. 

No one understands unkindness. No one with a heart. This is not a type-specific thing. Like… just no. Healthy INTJ’s don’t even really understand unkindness. Again, ESFJ’s may just take this to a more dramatic level because of our Fe. Again, good and bad. 

Also, concrete thoughts isn’t really ESFJ specific either. Its a more common Sensory trait but there are still N’s that prefer concrete thought… depending on what you mean by it. S’s just like real life examples and get LESS caught up in theoretical areas. It’s really a spectrum and no one is 100%. So its more if you sway towards understanding things via their theoretical principles or if you understand things via how they apply to the world. Same with goals. 

I would suggest taking another look at your type? Not just taking the test but actually looking into your type. Defiantly get VERY bogged down in the functions. It sounds to me like you might think you’re a little more Fi than Fe? I have a post on the technical side of functions here. And some stuff on ESFJ’s dominant function here and here. Also, my posts about ESFJ’s are complied here. Check this out and keep looking into it and asking questions. Defiantly focus on functions, that about all I can think of to help. 

I hope I did? 

@yerbasheepenfp asked me how my functions look in decision making... so here we go.

Okay so for me I recently had to decide where I wanted to travel and it went like this:

Fe: Okay okay. Right. I have no idea what I am doing and i am an emotional mess.... take it away Si

Si: oh.. um...oh...okay. Calm down Ne. CALM DOWN NE. Right. I think we need to look at this from a logical and realistic standpoint

Fe: *Rocks back and forth moaning ‘feeelllsss’*

Si: Okay so realistically, x would be the logical thing to do. We aren’t going to have another chance to do x... but we will probs have another chance to do y. So lets do x for now.

NE: BUT Y WOULD BE SO MUCH MORE FUN. HEY NO WAIT HEY LETS DO AJFG. RAINBOW!

Ti: *is hiding in a shadow... for now*

Si: SHUT UP NE. That doesn’t make sense. Just shhhh. Lets be logical. ajfg isn’t even an option. X makes the most sense

Ne: BUT FUN FUN FUN. YYYYYY

Si: No.

Ne: Yes

Fe: YOU GUYS ARE MAKING ME CRY. ITS BEEN A MONTH COULD YOU JUST WORK IT OUT?

Si: Ugh but Ne is so stoopid

Ne: But Si is so boring

Fe: WELL. FUN IS FUN AND FUN = HAPPY. BUT I DON’T WANT ANY REGRETS WITH SO.... LETS COMPRIMISE

*Finds way to do xy*

Si/Ne: FINNNNNNEEE

Fe: thank you (finally... some peace)

Ti: *comes out of shadows* BUT WHAT IF THIS GOES WRONG OR THIS GOES WRONG AND WHAT IF WE FORGET THIS AND WHAT IF X AND Y ARE WRONG WHAT IF EVERYTHING IS WRONG AND WE DIE. JUST GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM

Okay I am aware most of you will not read this post as a lot of you know all about functions. But I have been getting an increasing number of questions about how functions work so I thought I would write one post for future reference. So here is what the MBTI functions are: 

Judging and Perceiving Functions.

The Perceiving functions are the second preferences (by preferences I mean letter) of a type. That is, the iNtutive (N) and Sensing (S) functions. They are known as perceiving functions because they are how you perceive the world around you. There is an Extroverted and Introverted iNtuitive and Sensing function. Thus:

Extroverted iNtution (Ni)

Introverted iNtuition (Ne)

Extroverted Sensing (Se)

Introverted Sensing (Si)

The judging functions are the third preferences of a type. They are the Thinking (T) and Feeling (F). These are known as judging functions because they are how you make judgements. There is an Extroverted and an introverted thinking and feeling function. Thus:

Extroverted Thinking (Te)

Introverted Thinking (Ti)

Extroverted Feeling (Fe)

Introverted Feeling (Fi)

There are no functions for the first letter (I/E) or last letter (J/P) preferences because they do not show how you perceive and make judgements and are sufficient by themselves without needing to be expanded on. That is E/I shows energy source and J/P shows how you interact with the world.

So there is a total of 8 functions. MBTI tells us we use all our functions every day. But much like the preferences it is which ones we prefer to use the most. We rarely talk about the last four functions of a type because they are used by a person only when REALLY necessary. So we focus on the first four functions.

Each type in their first four functions will have a sensing, iNtuitive, thinking and feeling function. There will be two introverted functions and two extroverted functions.

The first two functions will always match the middle preferences (letters) of a type. One judging, one perceiving. These may be in either order. The second two functions will be whatever preferences you do not have in your type. Also one judging and one perceiving, also maybe in either order. All these variables mean no type has the same functions in the same order and some orders of functions do not exist. The method for figuring out the order of functions is slightly complicated and it is far easier to google them but I’ll include an explanation at the end for anyone interested.

The positioning of a function can influence how that function acts heavily. For instance dominate Fe (Extroverted Feeling) is very different to Inferior Fe. For this reason there is a name for each of the positions of the functions. Here’s a super brief summary:

The Function Positions:

Your 1st function is known as a dominant (aka dom. Also known as “Hero”) function and is basically the head of the other functions. This is what function you’re are most naturally inclined to use. My Fe (Extroverted Feeling) leads me to value the feelings of the people around me and emotions in general (love, hate etc.) above all else, including intelligence, perception, money etc.

Your 2nd function is known as an Auxiliary (aka Aux. Also referred to as “supportive” or “parent”) function and works hand in hand with your dominant function, it filters and supports your dominant function. If your dominant function is judging your aux will be perceiving and vice versa. My Si (Introverted Sensing) kinda tells me when I need to tone down my emotion and helps me be open to the environment around me, it helps me focus on other things other than feelings.

Your 3rd function is known as your relief function and turns up in times of stress or pain when your other two functions are unsure of what to do. Often activates you use to relax are making use of your relief function. I rely heavily on my Ne (extroverted intuition) to relax by spending time talking to the right people about things like psych or MBTI… Or blogging ;)

Your 4th and final function is known as your aspiration function. Dreams and aspirations you have are often related to your 4th function. However it is also where you are most likely to be insecure. I have aspirational Ti (introverted thinking) and I aspire to be more logical and intelligent, but I am also insecure that I am not, and I admire people that ARE.

So that’s about the basics of functions. Here is my all-time favorite site which, if you click on your type, will tell you your functions and how they act in each position. http://www.littleraeofsun.com/mbti/

How to figure out a types functions.

The pattern of functions for an extrovert is: Extroverted Function – Introverted Function – Extroverted Function – Introverted Function

The pattern of functions for an introvert is: Introverted Function – Extroverted Function – Introverted Function – Extroverted Function

If you are a judging type (you have a J as your last letter) your FIRST EXTROVERTED function will be judging. If you are a perceiving type (you have P as your last letter) then your FIRST EXTROVERTED function will be Perceiving.

If your second function (Aux) is a judging function then your third function (Relief) will also be judging. If your second function is a perceiving function then your third function will also be perceiving. Your fourth function is whatever letter (S/N/F/T) has not yet been used.

For all you who aren’t bothered…. Here’s a chart!

I feel as though this is a common misconception. Your type does not limit your interests or actions. Yes, there are certain patterns in interests and action. Naturally. But they are not apart of being that type. MBTI is not the what; its the how and the why.

E.G

I'm an ESFJ and I like psychology because I want to understand the people I interact with. I approach it from that perspective. 

I know an ISFP who likes psychology because it helps her understand herself. She approaches it from that perspective.

I also know an INTJ who likes psychology because they are fascinated by the ways our minds work. They approach it from that perspective.

Now i’m not saying ESFJ’s, ISFP’s and INTJ’s are always interested in Psychology because of their type, I am saying that their main motivation and thus way of approaching psych is heavily (except in some cases) influenced by their type.

As an extrovert i notice a lot of people think I'm confident because I'm outgoing, but I'm really not. There is a big difference between being comfortable and confidant. 

I am comfortable saying what i think but not confident i am right, i am comfortable with how i look but not confident i look good. 

It may seem like splitting hairs but its a big difference for me. Someone may be comfortable but don't take that as confidence, don't try and knock someone down 'a few pegs, because they seem 'confident', i personally am really easy to make feel insecure and inferior. 

Fe: They will always put you first and sacrifice heaps for your happiness, plus they are open and honest about what they feel in a generally positive way, easy to read. 

Te: They say what they think and are open about their thoughts, they don’t beat around the bush and generally have a lot going on upstairs. They are problem solvers.

Fi: No matter what they will do what they think is right. They will not compromise morals for anything and they cling to their beliefs like no other. 

Ti: They are thoughtful and they rarely say things without knowing exactly what they are talking about. They think carefully about what they do and take their time to make sure its done right. 

Ni: They offer amazing new perspectives to a range of topics. Despite being intuitive they often pick up on little things that are ’off’, they trust their gut and its often right. 

Ne: They always see the big picture and are great at keeping things in perspective. They always seem to have an air of fun and possibility and enjoy trying new things.

Si: They just notice every detail and they are meticulous. Their memories are crazy good and they rely heavily on past experiences. They tend to be tough and not like giving up on the things they start.

I guess its easy to see, we wear our emotions on our sleeves and we like talking about them so really most people pick up on it.

I don’t think we change our personality when near people we like/love but i do think we choose to amplify diffrent aspects. That is, I currently like a guy who is into psych and english so I bring out that side of my personality when I am with him. Its still ‘me’, just more of that and less of other stuff. 

I think also we do worry more about appearance, everyone does I guess. I can get overly vain though. 

I think also that we compliment and are very affectionate towards people we like but when I really like someone I almost tone it back a bit because I don’t want them to think I like them and am more likely to take the banter angle. 

Insecurity is a huge one. Over thinkers to the max. I question EVERYTHING and every little thing makes me wonder if I’m being stupid, if they secretly hate me. Especially if they don’t make the first move. I’m SJ, guys are supposed to make the first move.

I tend to shrink away from my Fe and sink into bad Ti and completely run out of things to say.

Teasing and teasing and teasing. I always tease. Very pre-school of me but true. 

I guess its all pretty typical stuff but the tell is, we can’t hide it amazingly. Our hearts are on our sleeves etc. People will pick up on it most likely. 

Its weird isn’t it? That we have this connection to people who we never have nor never will meet. But objective insight can be helpful. 

I don’t know all about the situation but i do have an ENFP mate and this does sound like something she would do to a poor fellow without meaning to. 

If it were me i’d go insane and eventually snap and then wish i had gone about it more tactfully so I’d suggest doing or saying something before it drives you insane… There is a fine line between expressing how you feel and smothering the other person, and its one i still find blurry at times. But as they say honesty is the best policy, perhaps in small doses. 

Aha this is a big question…. and a very hard one. And i might sound a bit cocky….. Gah.

Like: 

I like that i am a sensor, and that there is a part of me so consumed with emotions that i know i can’t hide them so i don’t try. I like how that forces me to be more honest. I like that my Fe pushes me to put others before myself and see the best in people. I like that i am J and that my life is structured and i like that i am SJ and that i value and honour tradition and manners, but i like that my Fe stops me from being to picky about that. I like that I am an extrovert and that I can be my crazy extroverted self with other extroverts. I like that I get to be (this sounds so dodgy) a bit of a odd ESFJ in my interests because it means that while i am surrounded by iNtuitives that think crazy diffrent to me, i sometimes get to be the one with the weird new perspective. I like that i notice little things and remember them.

Dislike:

I dislike pretty much all the things i like. I hate that i can’t hide my emotions and that i become a doormat for some people. I hate that i am so picky about having things organised and that i judge people so much for having bad manners. I hate that i need to be around people and that i am so loud and “bubbly”. I hate that people just see me as bubbly and blonde. I hate that i am not an iNtuitive and that i can’t see the things that they see and i hate that there aren’t that many ESFJ’s or even S’s interested in the same things as me. I dislike that my personality can be so easily affected by other people and that i can be vain and fold to peer pressure, AND I HATE that i notice little things and remember them cause people find it weird.