Shinji, get in the fucking robot.

Tenna art by @9Aaaalt29 on twt

1 [https://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/7123389]

“Oh but voting for ryland grace isn’t fun, cause ryland gosling-“

WRONG.

get that idea OUT. Ryan Gosling is a conventionally attractive actor. Ryland Grace is a nerdy stubborn fuckin little guy who formed a codependent relationship with a rock spider and is so dumb when it comes to relationships he went out for platonic dinner with his ex’s friend every weekend for years.

this man is not some blonde hunk from the front of a Calvin Klein advert. This is an awkward middle school teacher. He is a loser and i have a list on why.

Unironically said “whomp, there it is” while giving an impromptu lecture to the entire world’s leading scientists

his immediate reaction to seeing an alien was to dance horribly and see if it mimicked him

is aroace

if you don’t want him to be aroace there’s also markiplier

Or Stratt or carl or rocky or rocky and Adrian or mark fucking watney (it’s everybody)

There are currently 455 fics under the tag “ryland grace is a wet cat”

called a tube of gravy “better than sex”

named the medical robot Armando and thanks it

made rocky a paper hat for the top of his xenonite ball that said “savior of the world” and drew rocky lab goggles on his tunnel

wears shitty science pun shirts

wears his glasses so wrong it’s hard to believe they’re intact

Brought back hopecore and space and good movies all in one character

he is a loveable loser and deserves to win this.

Make the right choice!

he called the leading scholar in his field a "staggering waste of carbon" at a unesco conference

he regularly partakes in autocannibalism. HE CALLS IT MEBURGERS.

he's aroace

he throws up almost as much as he cries

he wrote a dissertation with a section titled "the goldilocks zone is for idiots" and basically chewed out everyone who disagreed with him

he's shipped with basically everyone who's ever been to space

he puts the not in astronaut

he gets sick on the elevator

he has a codependent relationship with a crab

he wears a suit jacket and tie with blue jeans

he likes foxes

he's the cool teacher at his middle school

he teaches alien children science in their language using a modified pipe organ

his name is grace and the hail mary is full of him

his glasses are repelled from his face

he saved two planets WHILE being a bit of a bitch about it

he has a very corny sense of humor

he likes skittles

you like old men? BAM old grace old grace old grace old grace old grace old grace

he has hella burn scars

he has chronic pain

he canonically uses mobility aids

he lives in a terrarium. he likes his terrarium.

ohhh but ryan gosling is too conventionally attractiv-

Have you guys seen that clip

They started messaging. Cachét complimented his drawing of a human-bug threesome and asked for a print. Three years later, Cachét and David got married. The human-bug threesome drawing hangs on the wall of their home.

I felt like I needed to clarify some things before we could continue any more conversations on this godforsaken website.

American badger: pallas cat of a wolverine.  Very defensive.  Fuck immediately off. 

Bonus African badger:  Silverback gorilla of mustelids.  Should be a cryptid.  Bro, don’t even.  You are nothing to him.

gets a bad rap

eats A LOT of ticks

“plays dead”

cute

VS

Possum (AUS)

Looks soft, isn’t

Quills are thin and flexible like hairs

Can climb trees

Perpetual bedhead

Smelly

Porcupine (Africa)

Does not look even remotely soft

Very long, stiff quills, especially on its back half

Can rattle hollow quills in its tail as a threat

Cannot climb trees

Will ram you ass-first to stab you if it’s mad

Porcupine (South/Central America)

Prehensile tail like a monkey

Short, thick quills

Snout looks like a marshmallow

Can hang from tree branches by its tail