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Seconding. I didn't realise spouse had been flirting with me AFTER A SOLID WEEK OF TALKING ONLINE NON-STOP when they explicitly asked if I wanted to go on a date

@tikkunolamorgtfo's tags: #This goes for friendships too!#I really do need you to say ‘Hey you’re cool let’s be friends’ like we six year olds at recess#or I will assume we are mere acquaintances and that I need to maintain boundaries to make sure I don’t annoy you

The hardcore way to eat ramen: 1. Boil water 2. Eat block of ramen 3. Drink boiled water 4. Snort flavored powder 5. Fuck bitches

why is there a gif for this

sometimes it genuinely feels like other people don't remember being children. "omg if a 13 year old is looking at porn there is something deeply wrong 😨 they shouldn't even be thinking about sex!!" they are going through puberty and their hormones are going crazy. do you remember being 13 years old.

They absolutely do remember, but this is a particularly stupid Emperor's New Clothes situation where they not only parrot the popular Morally Pure™ opinion that teenagers never get horny or look at porn or have sex ever because they're Minors™, but then also pretend that they themselves also never did those things, because if they admitted that they did, some batshit freak would probably call them a paedophile.

as the op of this post, i can confirm batshit freaks in my inbox calling me a pedophile for this 😔

I never thought I would be siding with the pope’s involvement in politics and cheering him on. I will say that.

Had a dream that markiplier was struck by lightning and imbued with electrical abilities. People were encouraging him to use his powers for good but he just went back to playing videogames. All the videos were about three minutes long because as soon as he got jumpscared there'd be a brilliant blue flash and he'd fry his computer.

@evilwizard is this your side gig?

it’s inspirational

you know what’s wild is that all these crazy standards we hold ourselves to are things that we don’t even value in another person? like i’ve never been like “wow I love that this friend of mine is too proud to ask for help and never complains about their feelings” or “my favorite quality about this friend is that they get straight A’s and never get overwhelmed and has never told me about a problem” or “i love that this friend has never been wrong about anything or slipped up and said something embarrassing once in their life” and yet here we are, pushing ourselves past our limits for and beating ourselves up over slipups of things that our friends probably wouldn’t even rank in the top 50 reasons they like us

"app" is without a doubt one of the deepest evils of the human race. "hello. would you like to be expected to have a bespoke piece of software for every single Brand you might theoretically interact with in a day" <- statement dreamed up by someone who should be drawn and quartered