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Here it is! My first Hollanov fanfiction recipe! I've been reading a lot of Hollanov fanfics in the last few months but food mentions are hard to come by. There is a lot of broccoli--healthy food for healthy athletes--and it's not one of my favorite vegetables, sorry! But I was able to make a short list of recipes that I plan to work on, now that summer break has started. I haven't read any AUs yet, so maybe there are some chef or baker AUs out there. Send those my way and I'll add them to my list! But first let's talk about Home Economics because it's one of my favorite fics and to think that I almost skipped it because tags said AU! If the Anonymous author is reading this, please know how much I love this fic.
In HE, Ilya and Shane are still hockey players but they are roommates in Switzerland and playing for the league there, as some MLH-union issues are under negotiations and hockey lockout is going on back home. During their four months together, they play together, live together, become friends, begin to fall in love, and pretty much live in domestic bliss. That is, until their contract abruptly ends when a deal is reached and they have to rush back home.
The fic jumps between flashbacks and the present--we get glimpses of their life together in Zurich in the past and solo in their respective homes at present. Angst. Happiness. Yearning. Home Economics. A mustard yellow kitchen. Here are a few lines from the story:
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Close,â Ilya says, pushing a cutting board and six Roma towards him. âI need these chopped. Recipe calls for tomatoes crushed.â
Hollander blinks down at the board and then up at Ilya, eyebrows furrowing. âWait, but if the recipe calls for them crushedâŠ?â
âI have seen how you chop tomatoes, Hollander,â Ilya says, flashing him a smirk before he focuses back on his own pile of shallots. âIs close enough to crushed for my recipe.â
Hollander blinks again. âAsshole,â he says, but he relaxes a little bit. He rolls up his sleeves anyway and starts chopping Ilyaâs Roma tomatoes.
But they share a house now. Things are different between them. And IlyaâIlya wants.
âOkay,â Hollander says, quietly, like maybe he wants just as much as Ilya does. He fidgets by his cutting board of tomatoes. âYeah, okay. Um. Is there anything I can help with then? For dinner?â
âNo,â Ilya replies quickly, snatching the board of tomatoes away from Hollander and turning to place it on the counter behind him just so Hollander canât see the relief spreading across his face. Shane is going to stay.
This is going to be the best penne alla vodka Ilya has ever fucking made in his life.
âJust sit there,â he says when he turns back around and picks up his knife, gesturing to the barstool. âLook pretty. Tell me about your day.â
When it is time to go back to Boston after the MLH gets its shit together, and he has to unlock his house and turn on the lights and no one is there to greet him and no one is there to smile at him and mangle his tomatoes and make faces when he pours them a generous taste of the liquor he bought for the pasta sauce and the only company he has will be the music he plays too loudlyâit will be enough to have had this before and still have the memory of it.
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I tried to get good quality vodka. The store said this was Russian vodka. Later when I Googled it seemed like it was Russian, although no longer produced in Russia but in Latvia!!! Oh no Russia lost to Latvia at the Sochi Olympics in the Heated Rivalry universe! Get behind me Ilya, I'll protect you from Papa Grigory đĄ. You know good vodka is hard to find here. I hope you approve! đ
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So my beta reader for the Big Fics is an astrophysicist, right. Who is currently also writing a hard sci-fi novel about the exploration of Phobos (more power to them, I cannot with the physics required for that, best I can do is soft sci-fi/fantasy and that reminds me I should finish that story).
Anyway I was bitching about how hard it is to come up with feasible planets in Star Wars because sometimes you need a new planet from scratch and sometimes you need to know more about a planet than the 'has jungles, is probably a moon technically' than Wookieepedia will give you, and they're like 'oh yeah I can do something about that'.
So they've written (in Matlab but they swear it will run as a .exe as well and I may be conscripted to embed it as a web tool at some point) a star system generator.
You input what you know about the planet (ecosystem, population, sun colour, does it have liquid water, does it have a moon or moons, is it a moon or moons, temperature averages, atmosphere, you get me) and it will give you the... everything else about the star system, in obedience to real-universe physics. And if you input nothing you get a randomly generated star system.
And Iâm like oh I know people who will be into this with a vengeance, and they're not on Tumblr, so this is me seeing who exactly would be keen on, and I cannot stress this enough, a real-physics comprehensive star system generator.
It's still in the debugging phase (last error fixed: every planet wants to have a population of exactly 5000 regardless of other factors, turned out to be a missing equals sign somewhere), but I'm psyched for this and trying to gauge interest for how high a priority 'make this an accessible web tool' needs to be.
please eat enough and drink enough water and get enough sleep. this is so that you have enough energy. because we need you to be writing and drawing porn on the internet
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AO3 is exiting open beta! Learn more about how far we've come since launching open beta, our future plans for improvement, and what you can do to contribute at https://otw-news.org/4w2dn3tcÂ
So, I spent all of February absolutely lost in the Hollanov sauce and as such, I come bearing recs. So without further ado, the recs:
(Below the cut: 26 recs of varying ratings and word counts)
I'd Share A Life (And You'd Share A Life) by noedovenest
34,154 words | Mature
âOlesya.â
âOh-lee-syah,â Shane repeated slowly, making sure he pronounced it right. âWhat⊠what are you going to do?â
âI donât know,â Ilya said, resting his head in his hand. âI donât fucking know.â
Shaneâs voice was steady. âWhat can I do?â
How long had it been since someone offered to help Ilya? He took care of his family, carried his brotherâs financial burdens, tended his own injuries, paid his way through life without aid. The question, softly spoken and rich with genuine intent, was enough to bring tears to his eyes. Could he really trust it? Could he ask someone for help?
For once, he wanted to try.
OR: Ilya is left with sudden custody of Alexei's daughter and calls Shane to help.
(Set just before the cottage.)
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lucky bastard by ghosttotheparty
10,495 words | Mature
âI like it,â he says weakly. âI like it, I like you holding me like this.â
âLike what?â
âLike you own me.â
---
or; They're falling in love. They can't have it, even if they can have each other, just for a little while.
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miss you so much i shiver and i shake by allyasavedtheday
4,627 words | Mature
This is worse, somehow, than every other goodbye from the past eight years.
Worse, to have all of Ilya now and not be able to touch him.
Itâs been two hours since they last kissed and weeks until theyâll get to again and there arenât enough âI love youâs in the world to make this hurt less.
Ilya is just looking at him, glassy-eyed and a little desperate, and Shaneâs hands creak on the steering wheel.
âYou need to get out of the car before I do something stupid,â he croaks, squeezing his eyes shut against the tears he can already feel welling up.
âLike what?â Ilya asks, voice scratchy and morose.
âLike turn around and drive you back to Montreal with me.â He opens his eyes again, finding Ilyaâs gaze across the console. âOr kiss you.â
*
In which saying goodbye after the cottage is a lot harder than either of them anticipated.
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i've never needed a reason for keeping secrets from myself by blongblong
9,738 words | Mature
Shaneâs immediate reaction is to say that he doesn't know when it started. He doesnât know who his soulmate is. This is what heâs been telling himself for years, because if he stops for more than a second to think about how long he's been collecting little pieces of Ilya Rozanov, he thinks he'll spiral out of control.
He'll hit the deck like a firecracker dropped unceremoniously onto the sidewalk, burning wildly and spiralling haphazardly, until he's fizzled out with nothing left to show for himself but smoke, ashes, and the knowledge that his soul is bound to Rozanov's.
or:
shane hollander spends twenty-five years not thinking about his soulmate. the drawer in his apartment filled with cigarettes, toothpaste, and awful t-shirts says elsewise.
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what you want, what you need (has been killing me) by blongblong
14,756 words | Mature | Sequel to the previous one
Ilyaâs soulmate seems to care a lot, about some very, very, specific things. Ilya tries to imagine what itâd be like to be on the receiving end of that kind of focus, that intensity.
He thinks of Hollander staring him down during their last face-off. Hollander had looked like he wanted to rip Ilyaâs stick from his hands and beat him with it. It was kind of hot, if Ilyaâs being honest. It was even hotter when Hollander won the face-off.
Christ. Ilya really needs to stop fucking thinking about Shane Hollander.
or:
ilya rozanov has been ready to meet his soulmate since he was ten. he thinks it'd be great if they also got the memo, because heâs running out of space to keep all their ginger ale.
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but when the sun came up by moonsock
21,714 words | Explicit
Shane finds a new family in Ottawa. It just takes him a bit.
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you'll be mine (and I'll be yours) by theprinceandagcd
6,238 words | Explicit
Ilya hums, playing the card he's been considering for this entire conversation. âWe could make more interesting, yes? A bet.â
âA bet,â Shane repeats, eyes flashing. âLike what?â
The reporter cuts in. âWhat about wearing the other playerâs jersey?â
They both turn to her, and Shane says, âLike, the loser wears the winnerâs jersey?â
âMaybe at the next game in a couple of months?â
âIs a good idea,â Ilya muses, nudging Shaneâs elbow. âYou will look better in my jersey than in Montreal jersey.â
Shane makes a low noise, his eyes holding a bit of a spark when he looks back to Ilya. Itâs what Ilya was hoping forâthe tiniest crack in the mask. He can see a hint of exasperated affection around the corners of Shaneâs eyes, a little bit of fire burning just beneath the surface. It sends a thrill down Ilyaâs spine, and he wonders if Shane will be snarky when Ilya gets him naked tonight.
âThatâs not happening,â Shane replies, shaking his head. âBecause youâre not winning.â
---
Ilya should have known better.
----
a boy is a gun by solarspunk
4,017 words | Explicit
âHollander, what is this?â
Shane had his arms over his eyes, the way he always did when he wanted to shut out all his sensation, leaving nothing but the feel of Rozanovâs mouth on every inch of his skin, intensifying the heat. He peeks out from beneath his arms, looking down at the man nuzzling below his waist.
âWhat?â
âThis,â Rozanov looks up at him, âis this a fucking gun tattoo?â
-
Shane Hollander gets a gun tattoo.
----
english as a second language by Idday
7,184 words | Explicit
Dialect (ËdÄ«-É-Ëlekt). Noun: A variety of a language used by the members of a group.
Â
...
Shane's been fucking Ilya Rozanov for a decade and yet somehow the more time they spend together the more he realizes how little he actually knows about Ilya, like, as a person. As a partner.Â
Again, he wishes he spoke Russian. That they had any shared native language besides sex and hockey.
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window by emotionsandphenomena
3,215 words | Teen
Ilya moves closer, inside Shaneâs space. Itâs not a big kitchen. Shane sat on this floor in diapers. He made protein shakes before practice on this counter, the one Ilya is backing him up into, pretty much every week of his teen years. He signed his first brand deal at the dining table. This brief, affectionate kiss felt more important than all of that, though.
moments at the cottage.
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Tape to Tape by mcshrug
8,228 words | Explicit
Shane Hollander has chemistry with his new American linemate. Montreal fans are thrilled. Ilya Rozanov is not.
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call it what you want by moonsock
3,547 words | Teen
The internet reacts to #Hollanov
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Something New by Rizandace
4,183 words | Mature
âIt was in 2013. The first time, we were in that stupid apartment of yours in Montreal. So many pillows, you hired someone to decorate. I knew it was your first time, like that, with anybody. I wanted to make it good for you so badly. Iâd thought a lot about it. Iâd planned for it, like I never would have for anybody else Iâve been with. I didnât expectâ I didnât realize how right it would be. I wanted to stay, I wanted to stay in that bed forever just to hold you.â
âHoly shit,â Shane says.
Ilya sighs, glares at him. âYou have got to stop saying that in response to my romantic declarations. Is bad for my nerves.â
----
Twelve Years, Still Ours by leialoo7
7,587 words | Explicit
Twelve years after filming their first CCM ad together, Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov are asked to return for a follow-up campaign. The offer sparks reflection and conversation about privacy, visibility, and what it means to exist openly as a married couple in the NHL.
----
The Night Shift by thecouchsofa
10,429 words | Explicit
Hollander is always a bit like that, in increments. He takes every loss personally â every missed shot, every empty netter, every failed pass. He could stand to get out of his head for a while.
It would be good, Ilya thinks, for him to calm down.
To sit and relax, maybe.
----
twin flame bruise by emotionsandphenomena
4,825 words | Explicit
They stayed there for a moment, looking at each otherâs mottled and slightly swollen ribs. Ilya crouched so he could see better, so they were on eye level. The colors shifting over Shaneâs skin as he breathed looked almost beautiful, like a painting. He skated one hand over the length just to hear him hiss. For some reason that sound was so sexy he had to surge forward and knock Shane back, covering his mouth and body with his own. He tried to be careful of the bruise, but not too hard. He wouldnât mind hearing that sound again.
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real love makes your lungs black by Anonymous
16,676 words | Explicit
If Shane had had a good, close friend, a confidante, somebody he could talk to about whatever was happening between him and Ilya Rozanov, and that good close friend got it in their head that maybe Shane liked Ilya, had feelings for him, one of the first things Shane would say to refute it would be: but he smokes.
Shane, Ilya, cigarettes - a love triangle for the ages.
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the language of us by SafelyCapricious
2,099 words | Teen
"So, do you think your soulmate is who you got all this hockey knowledge from?"
Now, of course, he smiles the media smile that she is so proud of him for learning and says, "My parents taught me a lot, they both love hockey you know? And it's hard work, every day. But I do love it too and I love doing the work. I haven't met my soulmate yet, but hopefully someday when I meet them they'll love hockey like I do."
----
coach, I'm threading needles by Anonymous
6,309 words | Explicit
Ilya fucks a girl in a Hollander jersey. Word gets back to Shane.
----
Concussion Protocol by cjr2
49,003 words | Explicit
Instead of Shane, it is Ilya who suffers a concussion during the Boston-Montreal game in April 2017. Dazed and agitated, Ilya briefly starts speaking and responding only in Russian and the medics canât calm him down. Luckily, Shane started studying Russian after Ilya spoke to him in Russian on the phone from Moscow. For no particular reason. Certainly not because heâs fallen in love with Ilya Rozanov.
In Montreal with lingering concussion symptoms, Ilya is advised not to fly home for a few days, and the hospital wonât release him without assurances that he has someone to stay with him until his symptoms improve. Luckily, Shane conveniently has a condo in Montreal no one knows about and a few days before he has to travel again.
But Ilyaâs symptoms donât resolve after a few days. Which is okay; Shane can handle it. He can take care of Ilya, study Russian, lead his team into the playoffs, and keep Ilyaâs continued presence in Montreal a secret. He can do everything, no problem. He is Shane Hollander after all.
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Full Contact by cjr2
50,450 words | Explicit | Sequel to the previous one
Newly traded to the Ottawa Centaurs, Ilya Rozanov is so close to having everything heâd never thought he was allowed to want. He can see the man he loves more than four times a year, heâs surrounded by a team who supports him through his injury, and Shaneâs parents have unhesitatingly accepted him as part of the family.
Except his lingering concussion symptoms have kept him sidelined from hockey, his boyfriend is still two hours away, their schedules are a disaster, and Shaneâs team is, wellâŠitâs full of assholes. There must be a way to make this all work out.
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cut to the feeling by Charlotte_Stant
12,056 words | Mature
It had been a very weird day, but Shane wasnât going to jerk off about it a second time.
----
Mutually Assured Destruction by Spidaya
7,040 words | Explicit
Ilyaâs laugh is loud and delighted and absolutely infuriating. He leans back on his hands, eyes lighting up like Shane just told him the funniest joke ever. âOh my god,â he says, murmuring something in Russian thatâs too quick for Shaneâs mind to translate. âYou want to have a not-sex competition.â
Shane shrugs. âYou said I couldnât resist you soâŠâ
âHollander,â Ilya says fondly, shaking his head, âYou have finally lost it.â
âOr,â Shane counters, stepping closer, âYouâre just not used to losing.â
Ilyaâs grin widens. He looks Shane up and down, slow and obvious. Shaneâs body has never been subtle where Ilya is concerned and he canât help the heat that floods his cheeks with Ilyaâs eyes on him so intensely.
âFine,â Ilya says easily. âWeâll see how long you last.â
Shane doesnât hesitate. âLonger than you will.â
----
your love moves me forward by justhockey
5,849 words | Teen
âItâs not new,â Shane admits.
âThe gay part or the relationship part?â
âBoth?â
Haydenâs jaw slowly drops until heâs wearing such a goofy expression that Shane canât help but laugh again.
(Or, Shane gets to come out on his own terms for once.)
----
Itâs Shaneâs birthday (and heâll cry if he wants to) by noedovenest
5,977 words | Mature
Itâs Shaneâs birthday and heâll cry if he wants to.
OR: Boston is knocked out of the playoffs, Shane is done being treated like a patient after his concussion, and he impulsively boards a flight to Ilya the day before he turns twenty-six.
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but daddy i love him by rachelrae
17,470 words | Teen
âI told you. Hollander and I, we are in love. He is my hockey player.â Ilya wiggled his eyebrows at the joke, but couldnât keep himself from watching Scott Hunter.
âSure, Roz. You and Hollander are in love, want to get married, spend the rest of your lives playing hockey together.â When Ilya didnât immediately reply to that very accurate statement, Hunter continued: âIf you two are in love, Iâm straight. Thatâs how likely that is.â He had laughed and skated away, though Ilya really hadnât understood what was supposed to be funny about that.
Standing alone on the ice, the crowd slowly filing out of the rink, Ilya was faced with a startling realization: telling people may be harder than he thought.
or
What if Shane gave Ilya permission to soft launch their relationship. Ilya is, of course, thrilled and immediately starts telling everyone around him. Problem is, no one believes him!
One of those fandom things that I love is when thereâs new characters around and, with the unwavering confidence of an old farmer appraising cattle, fanfic authors take one good look at them, tilt their imaginary hat, and go âAye. Praise kink, that one. Mighty case of praise kink if I ever saw one.â And everyone else just âaye.â
âI donât think the Highschool AU is going to come in too strong this year. Fandoms a touch jaded for that. But the hurt/comfort is growinâ thick as weeds and twice as fast. Itâll be a good harvest, fer sure.â
âI think Iâm going to sow some rarepairs this season. Donât know what the market for âem will be, but I can eat âem if nobody else wants to.â
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