we stan billy hargrove in this house

This is a spot from an italian estate agency (we are governed by the right-wing party)

The woman says "Ridiculous..."

We're opening sign-ups a few days early! This is our 7th round, so you might already know how this works, but here are the basics:

🍍 write any AU in no more than 5k

🍍 it's an AU if you say it is

🍍 all fandoms, ships & original fiction welcome

🍍 post any time in August

Complete event info

-Ilya just lost his father to an illness affecting the brain and the person he loves most just got a brain injury and he doesn’t yet know how severe

-Ilya has been made to feel unwelcome by his family for years and probably isn’t sure if Shane will be mad that he’s there, tell him to leave, be embarrassed that he’s there, or laugh at him for thinking he wants him there

-It’s also notable that this is one of the few times they’ve interacted where hooking up isn’t an option, and when it wasn’t an option in Russia Ilya reacted coldly to Shane and told him to leave, and doesn’t know how Shane will react to a situation now where the only thing he has to offer is his presence

-And Shane’s reaction is unbridled delight at seeing Ilya and he makes grabby hands until Ilya comes close enough to hold hands with him

-Ilya’s family have never had problems showing how they feel about him, which is usually insults and contempt. Shane is affectionate with him but clearly has emotional walls up a lot of the time. This is the first time Ilya has interacted with Shane where he has no inhibitions blocking how he treats Ilya, and he treats him with so much delight and love and affection, showing that the only thing he’s been holding back is just how much he cares, rather than any judgements

-When Shane asks Ilya to come to the cottage he doesn’t say “We could have so much sex” but “We could have so much fun”. Showing that Ilya is not just a hookup but someone whose company he enjoys just as a person

Today, about two weeks into moving to Bumfuck, Nowhere, he’s sent to the grocery store to pick up some items for Susan and he takes his time. Why would he rush back home to his dad?

He’s got the handwritten list in his one hand as he leans over the bar of the shopping cart in front of him, moving his mouth to the side and running his tongue along his teeth as he eyes the produce.

He spots some bananas and grabs a bunch, and back home they used to put the avocados right next to them, so it’s basically a reflex for him to look right next to the yellow fruit — but there’s nothing. Just bananas.

And as he stands there, holding about five or six bananas, he feels his stomach drop.

There’s no avocados here.

An employee walks by, an older woman, and he puts on his usual smile that gets him what he wants as he asks, “Excuse me? Would you be able to show me where the avocados are?”

The woman turns pink with a smile and says, “Oh, honey, I am so sorry — we don’t have any exotic foods like that here in Hawkins. You might be able to find some in the city.”

Fucking Christ. The city, being Indianapolis, which is hours away by car.

Despite the sinking of his stomach, he gives her a bigger smile and purrs, “Thank you, ma’am,” before pushing his cart away, feeling her eyes on him as he huffs quietly.

Exotic foods. What a bunch of bullshit.

-

He can’t let it go.

He even told Max as she came out to help him bring in the groceries — Neil’s orders.

“What?” She scowled, her freckled face twisting up in disbelief, “Like, you’re not joking?”

“I wouldn’t fucking joke about that.” It’s a little passionate for something like avocados, but it was a staple for them back home. Everyone ate them.

“That sucks for you,” Max rolls her eyes, obviously annoyed by his snapping at her, and he lets her go with just a glare to the back of her head.

Fuck. Maybe one day he’d make a trip of it.

-

Months go by. Shit goes down.

Like, really weird shit.

Monsters and parallel worlds. He’s not exactly sure how to process it all.

But, Steve helps him. Surprisingly.

A lot has gone down between them, but somehow, despite the petty fights and violence, they become…friends.

Sorta.

They’re becoming closer, he supposes. Sometimes they make out when they’re drunk enough. Sometimes Billy pretends to get so drunk he sucks Steve off. They don’t talk about it, but they’re close enough now that Steve invites him over to smoke some weed one day, and who is Billy to decline such an offer?

It’s not his first time in the Harrington house, he’s passed out on the couch or on Steve’s floor a couple times, but this is when the sun is up and he can actually look around.

“Should I order pizza now orrr…?” Steve trails off as he goes towards the phone on the wall in the kitchen, Billy following close behind him.

“Now,” Billy mutters, taking in everything, his blue eyes flickering around the room as Steve begins to punch in the number for the local pizza place—and then he sees it.

A single avocado, nestled so perfectly in Mrs. Harrington’s fruit basket.

His jaw drops as he rushes over to it, picking it up in disbelief as he turns it around in his hands. The skin is dark, it’s got a little give when he presses his fingertips into it.

Fuck. It’s fucking perfect.

“You alright?” Steve asks with a hint of amusement in his voice.

Billy whips around, seeing Steve leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, a smirk on his face. He must’ve ordered the pizza when Billy was…busy.

“I’m fine,” he huffs, wanting to put the avocado down but being unable to.

He can’t, not yet.

“You like those?” Steve asks as he scrunches his nose, pushing himself off the wall to approach Billy.

“I fucking love them,” Billy admits quietly, feeling a little embarrassed as he looks down at the fruit, unable to meet Steve’s eyes.

“They take like grass,” Steve huffs, leaning against the counter with Billy.

He flicks his eyes back up to the pretty boy and gives him a glare, weirdly defensive, “Yeah, if you don’t know how to eat them properly.”

Steve’s eyebrows lift, his eyes still full of amusement as his gaze goes from Billy’s face then down to the avocado in his hands. He looks lost in thought for a moment, like he was going to say something but then changed his mind. “My mom likes to eat them,” he hums, “She buys them when she goes on trips with my dad. This is her last one.”

Fuck Steve’s mom, this is his avocado now.

“She’s on a trip right now, isn’t she?” Billy mutters, gripping the avocado just a little bit more when Steve runs a fingertip along the skin, in between Billy’s fingers.

The pretty boy looks up again, into Billy’s eyes, and smiles as he asks, “You really want it that bad, Hargrove?”

Billy feels a wave of heat go down his body at that look Steve gives him, along with that question. “Fuck yeah, I do,” he mutters, his gaze dropping down to Steve’s lips for just a second before he looks down at the avocado.

In what might be a horrifying moment, Billy mutters all too vulnerably, “They…remind me of home.”

He regrets it the second it leaves his lips, his eyes widening and snapping up to Steve’s face, who looks at Billy with a sort of pity that he hates before it’s immediately gone, replaced with neutral pout that’s paired with a shrug as he says, “Take it. I don’t care.”

And Steve leaves towards the hall, but not before he hesitates, like he wants to stay. Like he wants to ask Billy why they remind him of home.

And maybe, if Billy were drunk or too high, he’d say they were his mom’s favourite.

“Hey,” Cliff says, suddenly struck with the best idea he’s ever had. “I think I know someone you’d get along great with.”

“Marleau, I’m not really looking—“

“No, no, trust me. He’s a good guy, and one of the best hockey players I’ve ever met—aside from you, of course.”

Shane isn’t sure where Cliff is going with this, but he does know he’s not interested in anyone but Ilya.

“I know you mean well but—“

“Rozanov,” Cliff announces, grin a mile wide, and Shane blinks. Cliff, for his part, is incredibly sure this is a good idea; he knows that Ilya is bisexual, even if he doesn’t talk about it. Even Cliff is aware of the dangers with Russia. Even if the rest of the league hates it, they can fuck off.

Mistaking Shane’s silence for skepticism, Cliff continues, “I know he seems like an asshole, but he’s one of the best men you’ll ever meet. I know you’ve seen it—the whole rivalry thing is bullshit anyways, right? He’s actually a big softie…”

Happy 'Comment on a Fic Monday!'

when he was crashing out about trading to ottawa, he said, "You know, it's just gonna be really hard to leave melissa," and hayden was sitting right there like. "melissa?? it's gonna be hard to leave MELISSA??"

First attempt at kitchen litho*

Messy as hell, and now I have leftover cola.

Whether it's a TikTok, a blurry street pic, a keyboard-smash-filled tweet about Shane's shoulders in a tank top post-workout in the queue at a coffee shop, a Craigslist Missed Connections post, or, one time, a literal fucking newspaper clipping from the Ottawa Citizen newspaper's Classifieds section, Ilya wants every last instance of someone thirsting after his husband so bad they enlisted the help of the public to find him.

It doesn't actually irritate Shane, he establishes this early on and checks in occasionally just to be sure, so he feels free to go hog wild with it whenever it happens.

lover's spit mature, 12k, ongoing. the last boston year: moments apart. spit kink and like. the mention of foot fetishes, but mostly feelings. and, well, spit kink.

i could have been somebody else teen, 4k, oneshot. rose and shane friendship, after the breakup. rose doesn't know why men think she should be so desperate to suck dick. shane offers his experience. oh my god, the way i love this fic. rose landry we GOTTA get you a dick for this man to suck. i promise you will be changed. LOVELY friendship too. this author's works make me feel like a dog that's just heard the treat bag rattle.

we’re okay, most days mature, 6k, oneshot. tw for self-harm. ilya has scars on his legs. shane doesn't say anything, and doesn't say anything, and eventually does.

baby, you're not the only one teen, 5k, oneshot. they come out. if only literally anyone could be normal about it, that would be great. hollanov try and get through other queer people's expectations of them mostly alive.

these icy waters explicit, 34k, multichapter. tw for minor character death. somewhat of a supernatural au. ilya is haunted- people around him are starting to die drowned- and he's tucked himself back into a shell of who he was. shane hollander, selkie, is not about to let that shit go unchallenged. closer to horror than mystery, but really good with both.

day 4.5 explicit, 3k, oneshot. cnc, intox sex. shane really doesn't like being high. this works out great when you're trying to play with consensual non-consent. from mean dom ilya week, a fic that drives me insane.

combine mature, 12k, complete. before the draft, players go through a test to find any bond compatibility- hollander and rozanov, as it turns out, are more than rivals. the rest of the world sees a package deal, a great team combo. from the inside, there's a little more at play. really short fic for all the incredible worldbuilding implications it offers.

all the dishes intact unrated, 5k, oneshot. shane is totally fine about being with the centaurs, really. it's just- sometimes. absolutely incredible breakdown fic i ADORE.

unexpected places gen, 2k, oneshot. jackie and shane friendship moment, very early into canon. i think we should get more of this forever. they are so dear to me.

when there's nothing left to burn mature, 23k, ongoing. scott hunter is traded to the montreal metros the same year that shane hollander is made captain. it's a little bit like watching a car crash, emotionally, and also like you just slipped in the shower and are waiting to see if this is a laugh-about-it matter or an er visit one. REALLY fun character study.

Ilya Rozanov's 12 Step Plan For Public Flirting teen, 7k, complete. what it says on the title. also has the PWHL, twitter, and a lot of bickering. really fun.

i want a scar that looks just like you mature, 6k, oneshot. soulmate au, but post-cottage. shane covers his soulmark. ilya doesn't have one. you know i appreciate a good soulmate au.

ransomed teen, 8k, oneshot. omegaverse au. unmated omegas aren't allowed on the ice after their 25th birthday. everyone is fighting over shane hollander. clearly, ilya thinks, the rational course of action is to kidnap him over it.

we go on walks teen, 46k, complete. firewatch au. shane takes up a summer to keep watch over forest fires- isolated except for hayden on the radio and one persistent camper. but there's secrets in the woods. this is like psychological horror, if it were a romance. a MUST read if you like horror; this fic will tug on every instinct and knowledge of the genre you have and leave you white-knuckling your armrest as you repeat to yourself 'i am NOT going to scroll down to find a missing person report for shane hollander' over and over.

spectral shame and other bedroom sports teen, 5k, oneshot. they move into a haunted house. fortunately, the ghost isn't hostile. unfortunately, he's both homophobic AND a prude. hollanov delight in trying to outdo each other in scandalizing him.

it's nice to hear your voice again teen, 3k, oneshot. this is ilya, i will never listen to your voicemail, he said; shane leaves them for him anyway. years later, ilya finds them. just plain cute and lovely.

modern lockets mature, 35k, oneshot. ilya wants, no needs to have shane hollander photocards. and a shrine. the only solution is to use his teammates for camouflage. complete pure and utter crack. i laughed so hard my stomach hurt.

helpless, tender, open explicit, 2k, oneshot. dubcon and bdsm. shane is sick. ilya takes care of him.

periphery teen, 24k, ongoing. you visit the people you know in your dreams, and they visit yours. shane has been dreaming people he doesn't know, in a language he doesn't speak, for years. the most FANTASTIC kind-of soulmate au i have READ i could not tell you how badly this concept fascinates me. so many amazing friendships and ocs. truly a love letter to dreams and friendships. this is one of those fics that leaves you thinking.

apple tree, my brightness explicit, 12k, oneshot. ilya character study, post-cottage. about places. also, i can't reread this when i'm emotional or i might explode. REALLY good.

with your fists for once explicit, 10k, oneshot. ilya character study: touch. he looks at hands and expects a hit. it's the way it's always been, the way it should be. hollander, however, is not that. tw for past child abuse, dubcon, and violence.

make it easy for you explicit, 10k, complete. tpe, free use, human furniture, spit as lube, painful sex. all shane needs to be is good for ilya. to be ilya's. this whole series is incredible AND it makes me horny. god. fuck. read it.

carpe diem, libera noctem explicit, 10k, complete. a past friend of shane's kills himself. he visits ilya in response. tuna melt alternate universe, a really interesting character development, and overall great read.

effleurage mature, 11k, oneshot. ilya gives shane massages. love love love their relationship. they're silly together!!!! pen is an absolute master at their craft (silly in love hollanov) and i encourage you to read all their stuff. especially Shallergies.

performance enhancing strategies mature, 5k, oneshot. shane comes out to the metros about his relationship. with a powerpoint. really fun.

bright light city teen, 8k, oneshot. they fuck up and get married in vegas. turns out, it's a little more complicated than that. a very interesting take on the trope!!

hot, hot, sweat, sweet explicit, 3k, oneshot. fever sex. i just think it's hot when they have sex while they're sick. sweat kink and dacryphilia.

what does this room look like explicit, 14k, oneshot. shane wants to try intox. rape roleplay, drunk sex, and a whole lot of fun.

just let me in your arms explicit, 6k, oneshot. shane sleeps over and wears a t-shirt that ilya has some memories of. not the ones you probably think, though. genuinely so cute and also made me laugh a lot.

find your way back home unrated, 112k, complete. they used to spend all their time together, back when ilya trained in canada with shane as teens. they lose and find each other again. i LOVE a good childhood friends story, and this one has some really lovely friendship and romantic dynamics. (and yes, i left the longest for last)