:3

Stop being so incredibly funny on my impossible puzzle post

This is the best addition everyone go home

i love old interviews with shatner and nimoy cause nimoy will try being all serious and shatner will blurt some wild shit like “leonard’s most ticklish spot is on the back of his knee” and then play it off by trying to fake choke nimoy

Love conversations where every single participant has certified Issues

One guys issue is not knowing vampires are real. I feel him

Love burying the lead "he's 33 I'm 22-" bitch he is 433 give or take

He doesn't know how to divide by 2.

@nightcrawler-fan @iceandbone

...why does this have better writing than most actual comedy series about fantasy characters?

.... is one of those guys Blade?

“Why are you scared of dating” I’m not scared of dating, I just haven’t found anyone’s company to be more enjoyable than my own. And also I don’t care

I just don't want anyone to steal my very cursed amulet

Also the amulet

Is that you talking? Or the amulet? Are you SURE a new hand doesn't want to touch the beacon?

The amulet and I are not currently looking for a third

Holy Shit

hey sorry. can you stand a little further back and we try again

trans bears are literally stronger than any US marine

How on earth would they be able to tell that a bear is trans. I’m not saying they can’t be but how would they communicate that.

:/

this is so fucking funny

we the jury find the defendant not guilty your honor

In like 1998 my very femme lesbian friend went to Pride in London and was all excited at the “teddy bears picnic” happening in one of the city parks. She took along a picnic hamper and her cuddly teddy bear. Needless to say, the large hairy gay men all thought she was adorable and she had a great time

they are having an orgy, so I will take no further pictures

it’s important to engage in at least some small degree of criminal activity in order to remind yourself that you don’t have to ask for permission

People don’t even say w00t anymore.

new enemy i came up with called the "false mimic" this is just some guy that hides in chests and bobs the lid up and down like a mimic breathing. he has 1 hp and if you smack the chest he starts begging for his life snot and tears running down his face

Behold! The printing titty!

I normally tag these posts “specific ass machines” after a minor meme that blew through Tumblr, but I was tempted to tag this one “specific boob machines”.

disappearing into the bathroom at the club only to reappear covered in decorative printing patterns followed by a 10ft lady wearing bowls as a bra