The First Year

There was a crack of thunder during the night. Loud and obtrusive. You recognized the noise. You always did. The sound made you jolt awake from your bed. You climbed out of your handmade bed in a flash, grasping for the robe you left on the coat rack near your door, throwing the door open and hurrying to the beach. Just as you expected, there was someone laying on the beach.

His hair was tousled and wet. He was blonde. You hadn’t seen a blonde one in centuries. His skin was dusted with sand as he slept. You kneeled beside him, resisting the urge to touch his robe as he laid peacefully. You allowed yourself to hope- to pray that he would be the one who would stay with you. 

His mouth moved gently as he rested. Your brows furrowed and you leaned over him, listening closely to what he was mumbling.

“Jiung…” He was murmuring softly, “....’ung.”

You frowned gently, lifting your head back again. Jiung. Was that a person? Someone he had waiting for him? Did the gods send another person who would never fall in love with you? Ignoring the tug at your heart, you gently moved his head into your lap, carding your fingers through his hair.

The sun was slowly peeking over the horizon when he slowly blinked his eyes. You leaned over him, blocking the sun from hitting his eyes. You offered a smile to him, your eyes sparkling as you grinned.

“Morning sleepyhead. You’ve been resting for a while. I swore that you were dead when you washed up on my isle.” You saw him staring at you with an odd expression. He pushed away, looking around the island. Your island. “Did you know you talk in your sleep? Tell me, though, who’s Jiung?”

Distractedly, looking for something, probably a boat or way off, he responded, “He’s my husband.” 

Your eyes met his for a moment. You stared at him carefully, analyzing his face and eyes. They were brown. They looked… so pretty in the sunlight. His face was riddled with stubble and sand. You swallowed thickly, caught in admiring his appearance when he stumbled to his feet. “Anyway, this island has everything we could ever need.” You said with a grin. “Food, water, animals. There’s anything you could ever need or want. Just you and me, my dear. You can be my love for life.”

He stumbled back with wide eyes, “What-? I- no, no. I don’t-” You stared at him with a grin for a moment before your eyes noticed blood dripping from a wound on his arm. You jumped up, grabbing his hand.

“Wait, you’re injured! Come on, let’s go get that cleaned up.” You pulled him through the island, leading him through marble pillars until you pulled him into your bedroom, sitting him on the bed. You rustled through your drawers while he looked around in surprise. You found the bandages you were looking for and hurried over to where he was seated, lifting his arm gently. You hummed softly as you wrapped his arm, giving him sweet smiles as you did. As soon as you were finished, you brought the bandaged arm up and pressed a gentle kiss to his arm. He pulled away quickly, blinking at you. 

He stood up from the bed, backing away and shaking his head, “Oh, no, I, uh, I seem to be a bit lost? See, I was looking for Ithaca? And this… doesn’t seem like the place.”

You hummed, “No. Not Ithaca. But, you have me here.” You smiled, standing from the bed and swaying your hips as you walked towards him. You grabbed his hand, tugging him towards the bed, “Soon, into bed we’ll climb and spend our time.”

He yanked his hand out of yours, shaking his head, “Ah, no- no. I’m not your man.” He turned and left the room in a hurry, leaving you behind. You huffed, sitting on your bed. So he needed some time to get used to the idea of you. You could give him that! After all, surely, he’d be here for the rest of his life. You couldn’t- and wouldn’t- force him into anything, so you had to wait for him to warm up to you.

And you knew he would.

Eventually, you walked out of the house and walked the island, looking for the man you would spend his life with. You found him at one point, tugging on a tree branch to get it to fall. You hummed, walking up behind him.

“Are you alright?”

He jumped, spinning around, his sword that he washed up with in his hand. “Who are you and where am I? Where is my boat?”

“You’re on my island, silly.” You huffed softly, “You washed up here. There are no boats here.”

“Your island?”

You nodded with a grin, walking closer and leaning close to his face, “Yes. Which means, you are stuck with me! And that’s a good thing! I’m what you want here- I’m what you need here! Just you and me, my love in paradise.” You closed your eyes leaning forward. You stumbled forward when he moved out of the way, staring at you with confusion. “Now ‘til the end of time, you’re mine.” You said dreamily, opening your eyes and staring at him with your sweet smile. 

He shook his head again, “No. Absolutely not.” He pointed his sword in your direction again and your smile wavered. “You know, I could kill you where you stand. I’m not your pet. I’m a married man.”

You huffed, raising your hands in mock defense, “Last I checked, you can’t kill a god.” You smirked at the look of surprise that dawned his face. He slowly looked more and more horrified at the idea of staying on this island.

“God?”He repeated.

“Yes. You’re so adorable when you make that face.” You walked up to him, pressing a finger against his sword to push it down. Then you trailed your hand over his shoulder, grinning at him, “I’m the god, Y/N. But, don’t be afraid. I’m not going to hurt you. We’ve got all you could want here, all you could need! We’re in paradise! My island stays the same and no one can come and bother us. No one can leave either, if you were thinking about it. My island stays how it is.”

He swallowed thickly, moving to the side. “I don’t belong here.” 

“No? But you are here, are you not? Surely that means you were meant to be here. With me.”

“No.” He said, shaking his head again, “I won’t stay here until the end of time. Paradise to the end of time? No way. I won’t stay here.”

He walked away from me, towards the house. You followed him, peeking over his shoulder to see his expression every few minutes. “You’re mine!” You sang with a smile, humming joyfully, “You’re here to stay with me until the end of time. Isn’t that just great?”

He shook his head with a serious expression, “How do I leave?”

You blinked at him softly, tilting your head. “What do you mean? You don’t.”

The Second Year

Your eyes trailed across the expanse of the beach, searching for the man that had stolen your heart away. When you spotted him, sitting against a rock and staring into the ocean, you grinned, hurrying up to him.

“Keeho!” You called. He didn’t look at you as you approached. “Are you ready for dinner, my love?”

Keeho’s face, which had grown a larger beard by this point, shook his head. “I’m not ready to go in.” He responded. “I’m just thinking.”

You hummed softly, moving to sit beside him on the rock. “About what?” You asked, despite knowing full well what he was thinking of. It was what he was always thinking of.

“Jiung.” He responded. He sighed, bringing his foot to rest on the rock and leaning against his knee, “You know, he loves it when I bring him flowers.” He said with a small smile. “He would flush so prettily. Say 'thank you’ with that special sparkle in his eyes’ everytime, grinning ridiculously.” He closed his eyes gently. You watched him gently. “I would bring him all types. His favorites were probably the rare ones I found for him. They were…” He thought as if trying to remember what the flowers were called. “Right. They were anemones. I remember I bought seeds from a merchant and made a plant bed for him. I wonder if the flowers are still growing.”

You felt a sense of melancholy. Despite the fact that he had been here a year, he didn’t seem any more in love with you. In fact, he seemed even more deeply in love with his husband than you had ever thought. The fact that he held your heart so close to him meant absolutely nothing to him. He didn’t care at all. The thought made your chest hurt. You took a quiet breath. No. He would be here forever more. There was nothing to stop you from getting him to love you. He would never see Jiung again, so surely he could learn to love you.

“Well… I made your favorite for dinner.” You said softly. “And I have a gift for you.”

“Y/N, I am not interested in your gifts.” You could tell he resisted the urge to say that you knew that. And you did. He never wanted anything you could ever provide for him. Regardless, you would always try and win him over. “I appreciate the thought but I can’t accept something from you if you do it out of love. It would be a betrayal to my husband.”

His words stung. They always did. You nodded again. Like every time. “I know. I just thought I would do something for you. You’ve been talking about how the island gets cold at night, so I made it so it doesn’t get as cold at night.”

He was quiet for a moment before huffing a small chuckle. He opened his eyes, turning to look at you. “Thank you.” The words made your heart leap in your chest. You grinned, nodding.

“Of course. Anything you could ever want is yours.”

The Third Year

You woke up to an empty bed. It wasn’t surprising. You would usually find that Keeho had left the bed through the night to search the island. Even after three years, he still remained hopeful for a ship or a way out of the island. His eagerness to leave made you hurt. As usual, you climbed out of the bed, slipping on your robe and heading to the balcony overlooking the ocean. That was usually where he would be found.

Your eyes found his body easily, his robes sitting against him messily as if he had put them on quickly. Your hand graced his back. He didn’t jump anymore when you touched him.

“Come back to bed, Keeho.” You whispered softly.

Keeho stayed quiet for a moment, staring off into the distance. “I don’t want to.” He said. His voice was quiet and heavy.

“Did you have another nightmare?” His silence was your answer. “Tell me about it?” You hoped his comfort with you would be enough.

He hesitated before he spoke. “I’ve lost countless lives. Watched people I’ve cared about suffer.” He said. The wind carried his voice. You looked out towards the horizon where his gaze stayed. “My friends. Family. Dead. By my hands or because of me.” He shook his head. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this, frankly.” He laughed sadly.

You hesitated before taking your hand off his shoulder, stepping a bit away from him. “You can tell me anything.”

“I might not show it, but I am thankful for your company.”

You tried not to feel giddy. You really did. But it was hard when you were head over heels in love with this man. You didn’t say anything, not wanting to jeopardize this moment, wanting to keep it pure in your mind. 

The Fourth Year

“Y/N!” Keeho’s voice called for you through the building. You grinned to yourself that he was calling you and hurried over to where he was sitting, sifting through a pile of shells. “Look, I found a seashell that looks like it has a Y/I in it.”

You laughed softly, “Yeah?” He waved you over, handing you a palm sized seashell with a large, wobbly Y/I design in it. Your heart swelled with affection. “Is it for me?”

“Well, yeah. I don’t have a Y/I in my name, you goof.” He chuckled. He glanced at the table, grabbing a thin piece of rope. “Wait, give it here.” You handed it back to him with a curious expression. You watched as he carefully used his sword to put a small hole in the top of it. Already impressed with this, you watched with bated breath as he put the shell onto the string. “Come here, let me tie it around your neck.”

Your breath hitched in your throat. You nodded, unable to speak as you walked closer to him. You felt his hands trailing over your skin as he tied the necklace around your neck. When he finished, he pulled back, but you found yourself standing there for a moment more, savoring the touch he had given you.

“All done.” He murmured, with a quirk of his lips. You nodded, spinning around to face him. He wasn’t too far now, close enough for you to reach out and touch. You did just that. Your hand reached out. You moved to touch his cheek.

A hand met with yours, tugging your hand away from his face. He gave a small smile, sad perhaps. Or simply just knowing. “No.” He said softly, squeezing your hand. “You know I don’t love you.”

The common knowledge that made your heart ache. You wanted him to love you. You wanted him to scream from the rooftops, to serenade you. You wanted him. But you couldn’t force someone to love you back. You hated this curse the gods put on you, making you fall in love with the man who landed on your island. The punishment seemed far too severe for anything you could have ever done. It was horrific and you wished this pain against no one.

“You know, I used to make seashell necklaces with Jiung.” He murmured softly, releasing your hand and turning back to the table where all the seashells were. “His favorites were the spiral ones. The ones that are almost like cones? Yeah. He said they were the easiest to put on necklaces, so they were his favorites because they didn’t cause so much hassle.” He gave a sad laugh, shaking his head. “He was-” He caught himself. “He is so stupid sometimes.”

You stared at the man in front of you. Your heart ached with the fact that you knew he would never love you back. He was so aware that his very presence made you hurt so badly because he could never love you. He knew that, but there was nothing to be done. The two of you shared a room, a bed, because the gods never bothered to give a second one to you. The island wasn’t that big either. There was no way for either of you to separate for very long. But, you knew that it was painful for him being so far away from his husband for so long. The type of love you both felt was heavy for both of you. 

“Am I the first?” He asked suddenly.

You peered at him, your heart beating heavily. “The first?”

“The first to appear on your island. The first you’ve loved?”

It was quiet. The only sounds were of the gentle waves outside. “No.” You whispered softly. "Every few decades... another appears. The gods toy with my heart like its a... stress ball."

He didn’t offer a response, only nodding slowly. He paused in what he was doing, staring at the seashells before finally he spoke again. “I'm sorry. I am flattered you decided to love me.”

You scoffed gently, “I didn’t decide anything.” You murmured. He nodded as if he knew. Did he know? He knew you were cursed to be on this island, perhaps he put two and two together. It was quiet again. “Do you think you’ll ever see him again?” You knew it was impossible. You knew he would never be able to see him again, but you wondered if Keeho held out hope.

“Yes.” Keeho responded honestly. “I know I will.”

The Fifth Year

The routine between the two of you had gotten easier. Wake up, do some chores around the island, chill out, sometimes you two would go swimming together in the bay. It was simple. Easier, somehow.

But at the same time, everything was so much harder. You loved him more now than you had ever. Every time you saw him, your heart fluttered. When you laid beside him at night, you watched as the stars blew him kisses, dawning him in a pale light. You watched as he would emerge from the ocean with a laugh, mesmerised by the way his hair stuck to his forehead.

You found yourself wanting to be near him at all times of the day. And, while you normally did so without much of an issue, it was harder now because you wanted to talk to him at all times of the day. You wanted to interact with him. You wanted him to know how much you adored his mere existence on this stupid island.

It was night when you shook him awake. He grumbled, asking why you were waking him when you told him you had a surprise. He was tired, but he agreed to do what you said. You walked him to the balcony where you had laid out a meal for the two of you. Glasses of wine and sandwiches and legs of lamb. There were even apple tarts you had made for dessert.

He stared at the scene in front of him before sighing, “Y/N…”

“It’s not a date.” You said softly. As much as you wished it was. “I wanted you to know that I appreciate you helping me with chores and spending time with me. I wanted you to know that I cared about you.”

He was quiet for another moment before nodding slowly. “As long as you’re sure this isn’t a date, we can sit.” You nodded and moved to sit across from him as he sat cross-legged. You tried not to stare into his hazel eyes, but the moon hit them so perfectly that it seemed stars danced in them. “You’re staring.” He murmured softly, taking a sip of his wine.

“You’re the most beautiful man I have ever seen.” You whispered.

He swallowed thickly. He didn’t know what to say, that much was obvious. “You know-”

“I know.”

It was quiet as you took a sip of your own wine, turning away from him to watch the sea lap at the shores of your beautiful island. You wanted him to say something that proved he loved you. You wanted him to love you. You wanted him to… you didn’t know what you wanted. You wanted him. But you also wanted him to be happy and you knew that he would never be truly happy on this island.

“I wish I could.” Keeho said softly. “If I could possibly love you, I think I would. You are an amazing man. But you are not him.” You didn’t respond. You didn’t know how to respond. You didn’t know if you wanted to respond. It was hard enough hearing that. “You would like him.” He continued. He either didn’t notice or didn’t care how his words cut into you like daggers. “You remind me of him in some ways.”

“Then why can’t you love me?” You found yourself asking, begging.

He was quiet again. “You know why.”

“Pretend I don’t!” You cried, looking at him with teary eyes. “I know there is no way off this island. I have tried time and time again. I have tried everything there is to try. The waters won’t drown me, the ledge is never high enough, I can’t swim away. If I even tried, I would be brought right back to the beginning like a loop I can’t escape! So why do you think you can be with him again? Why can’t you love me instead?!”

Your question hung in the air. It was heavy. You knew you had asked something that was unfair, but at the moment, you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

“I can’t give up hope. I love Jiung.” Was all he said before standing from the balcony and returning to the house.

The Sixth Year

Keeho seemed more and more desperate as the years continued. He would spend hours chopping down a single tree with his thin blade to tie it together to make a raft. He succeeded once and sailed off, rowing away. You watched him with a heavy heart before his journey restarted and he found himself rowing towards the island instead of away from it. He tried that trick twelve times before he finally got tired enough to return to shore.

He collapsed onto the sands. You moved to stand over him. He breathed heavily, his eyes closed. You kneeled beside him, running your hand through his hair. He didn’t stop you, a tear slipping from his eye.

“Why won’t they let me go home?” He whispered as if he was giving up. “Truly, I have not been a horrible soul. I haven’t done anything for this torture. I blinded a giant that killed some of my closest friends and I’m the bad guy? Please. Let me go home.”

Your heart hurt for him. You didn’t want him to leave but you knew he wanted to so badly that it hurt him. He wanted to leave more than anything and you couldn’t do much to change his mind. Even if you wanted to keep him near you forever, you couldn’t do much to dissuade his thoughts. You wanted to be selfish. You wanted to keep him for yourself. But you couldn’t. You wanted him to be happy more than anything else.

“I wish I could let you go home.” You whispered softly. “I am not the one keeping you here. I wish I could make you happy.”

He opened his eyes, slowly moving to meet yours. “Thank you. That means more to me than anything you could have possibly said.” He murmured. He set his hand on your cheek and you stiffened. Your breath paused as your eyes stared into his. He hesitated before letting his hand fall and taking a deep breath. “Suppose we should start on dinner since I’m not getting out of here.” He murmured. He waited a moment longer before moving to stand up. He stretched and let out his hand, offering it to you. You stared at him as if he was the god before gripping his hand.

The Seventh Year

You knew something was wrong the moment you woke up. Keeho was not laying beside you and the room felt strangely chilly. You rubbed your eyes gently, breathing thicker than normal.

“Well, you’ve looked better.” You jumped, spinning around. You pulled at your blanket, covering your bare chest as you noticed a man. A man with a charmingly mischievous grin. A man you've seen so many times before, though you never seemed to expect him to show up again. Theo was sitting at your desk.. He offered you a sly grin. “What? Missed me?”

You stared at him for a moment before gasping and dropping the blanket, getting to your feet. “Where’s Keeho?”

Theo laughed, throwing his head back as he floated above the ground. “On the beach. What, you thought I took him away?”

“What are you doing here, god of messengers?” You demanded. Relief filled your chest now that you knew Keeho was safe. You scrambled for your tunic.

He hummed, waving a hand, “What, skipping all the formalities? Fine.” He sat up straighter, clearing his throat. “Y/N of Ogygia, you should say your sincerest goodbyes to your friend Keeho because he’s on the first boat outta here!” He swung a fake baseball bat, watching as the pretend ball flew far away.

While you didn’t understand the reference he was making, you understood the gist of what he was saying. “What?” You breathed. Your heart practically stopped in your chest. “That’s impossible.”

“Believe it, sweetheart.” Theo said with a hum. “Seems a certain god took pity on him and decided to let him leave.”

You almost wanted to tell him no, to tell the gods that they couldn’t take Keeho away from you. But… this was what he wanted. As much as it pained you (and it pained you so much), you knew you had to let him go if you ever wanted him to be happy. Your eyes fell to the window where you saw Keeho sitting in the sand on the beach, watching the waves. He seemed carefree.

“He doesn’t know.” You said more than asked.

“Righto. The gods want you to tell him.”

You wanted to scoff. To cry. To scream. To do something that would make the gods feel how heartbroken they were making you feel. But, that would probably make them happy. They wanted you to feel pain. Theo hummed softly, peering out the window. “Might wanna go tell him right now. He should be out of here soon. Make your goodbyes count.”

Before he could say anything else, you swallowed your emotions and bolted from your house, running towards the beach. You yelled his name. He turned with a smile, tilting his head. He looked so… at peace despite the want pulling at his chest. Your heart broke thinking about how happy he’ll be to leave this place. How happy he’ll be to leave you.

“Someone just arrived on the island.” You said when you got close enough. His smile faded and he looked confused.

“I thought you said nobody could come or go from the island unless you allow it.”

“Except for the gods.” You said. He nodded slowly. “You’re being sent home.”

He paused as if he didn’t believe the news. “What?”

“They’re setting you free. They want you to go home.”

Utter joy erupted on his face. “Yeah?” He asked breathlessly as if he didn’t fully believe you still. You nodded, your heart aching. He seemed to sense your pain and knew that this was the truth because he let out a breathy laugh, joy and excitement filling his core. “I get to see Jiung again.” He breathed out before jumping and yelping in glee. 

You watched his celebration with sadness. You were happy that he was going to be happy, but the bigger part of you felt horrible. You felt selfish for not wanting him to leave but you loved him so much and you didn’t think you would ever love another man as much ever again. In the heat of his excitement, he rushed over and pulled you into a hug.

Throughout seven years, the two of you had hugged before. But this was different. It was conflicting. You hugged him desperately, as if afraid to let go. He hugged you with airy passion that didn’t fully tug you into him. He laughed breathily again, unable to contain his glee and excitement.

It was within his glee that you spoke up. “I love you.” You saw a boat in the distance, heading towards your island. “I will not apologize for loving you. I’m not sorry for loving you. I love you so much that it hurts.”

His smile faded slightly and he stared at you. There were a few feet between the two of you. He stared into your eyes. “I know. And I’m not asking you to apologize.” He said softly.

“I wish that you could say that you-”

“I love you.” You froze, your breath hitching in your throat again. He looked at you kindly, with a smile. “Just… not in the way you want me to.”

You watched as the boat pulled into the bay and he climbed aboard. You watched silently as he talked with Theo. You watched as he pulled out into the ocean. You took a shaky breath, breaking into a run towards his boat. You stepped into the water, feeling the sand between your toes as you ran towards him and his boat. Towards freedom.

But it would only ever be his freedom. You tried to take another step but the sand held you down, burying over your foot as you tried to move it. Tears streamed down your face and you begged for your freedom. You begged to be aboard that ship with Keeho. But he was destined for Ithaca- for Jiung- and you would never be destined for anything more than the Island of Ogygia.

Show me all the cards you hold close to your chest

I'll take all the parts of you your loved ones detest

Theo knew it wasn’t a good idea when he first met you. But he couldn’t help it. As soon as he laid eyes on you, he didn’t want anything else. He wanted to be wrapped in your arms and wanted to be yours in every way that mattered.

The relationship started behind closed doors, hidden away from cameras and members. Your members never knew anything, and his didn't know anything either. They all knew he was happier, you were happier. He loved every part of you. The way your features scrunched when you laughed, the way your smile melted his heart, the way you were always so put together. He loved your humor, your kindness, everything. He wanted to know everything. Even when everyone was against you, he was on your side.

And in turn, he wanted to be accepted by all of his faults. 

At first, it seemed like you did. You would hold him when days were tough. You would reassure him that you loved him and wanted him and that he was amazing. 

But then, you never would let him reveal the relationship. Not to his friends, his family, his members, his fans. Not a soul was allowed to know that you and him were a thing. He noticed after a while that you never referred to him as your boyfriend. Never spoke as if you were dating him, just that you were together. 

It was enough. For Theo, at least. He had his happiness. Sure, it was exhausting to keep it hidden. And, sure, it was hard to not see you whenever he wanted, but you were his safe place. That connection he longed for, he found in you. He was desperate for the connection. Desperate for acceptance from someone he cared about. Sure, his members accepted him and loved him, but not in the way you did. Or the way he thought you did.

Find me. I'm inside, your insides, it might help.

In front of my eyes, as I talk to myself.

Conversations turned into one-way talks rather quickly. Still, he didn't shy away. He headed straight for you whenever you were alone. He wanted to merge himself with you. He wanted you. In every way imaginable. You were some unspeakable enigma that he kept just for himself. No one else knew about it. It was a secret for him. It was a connection for him. It was his way of feeling accepted and feeling real. 

Theo often found himself imagining what it would be like to be in public with you. Or at least in front of his members. Would they see you the same way he did? Or would they judge those little traits that he loved? 

Love is a strange, strange word. 

It used to mean something, Theo used to believe. He used to think it was the connection he shared with you that was true love. The way he accepted all of your flaws, and the way you accepted his. 

He used to believe love was something that could overpower. 

What's the point of a friend, if you're on your own in the end?

With you, with them.

I'd go through it all again.

The first time you broke up with him, he was inconsolable. His members didn't know what was wrong, only that he refused to talk to any of them. He was quiet for days, perhaps a week or two. Then he went out for a few hours and came back with a neck of bruises and a stupid grin on his face. 

I’ll make an attempt. Knowing That I’ll fuck it up.

(If only you would hate me now)

The arguments were always something stupid that turned into either makeouts that lasted for hours, or a breakup. It was one or the other. No matter how many times Theo tried to talk it out, or just communicate, you would kiss him or leave, depending on your mood and nothing else. It was tiring, trying to figure out the right times to do just about anything. But he loved you, so it was enough.

Hold me in contempt. Cause I don’t wanna interrupt.

When you were in one of your moods, he knew not to bother you. In fear of being broken up with or starting an argument or aggravating you even more than his presence already did during these times, he would leave. He would tell his friends he was fine. That it was normal and everything would work out. Then you would call him up, apologize over and over and beg for him to come back to you. 

He would. Every time. Without fail.

And every time, without fail, you would continue the cycle again. The yelling, the fighting, the stupid arguments, the times where you just didn’t want him around.

It started happening more often. Especially after your group became more popular. You tried to say the popularity didn’t change you, and maybe it didn’t. Maybe it just showcased what you were hiding away. What you already were.

What’s the point of a friend?

If you’re on your own in the end.

With you, with them.

I’d go through it all again.

Time and time again, Theo was reminded how broken you were. He was reminded how you weren’t a good boyfriend, not even close. His friends begged him to come to his senses, leave you. But he couldn’t. He loved you. He could handle the bad times. If he could have you, he could handle anything.

I’d quite like