Elian Eldari

Four people. Siblings. They totally should have gone back to the "community" - you know, all the non-Jews who definitely didn't sell out the Jewish community

Here's the wikipedia page for Frydek-Mistek. There is no mention that the Jewish population was completely liquidated. In fact, the only thing the Germans apparently did was join the once separate towns.

Frydek-Mistek Wikipedia

The last Jews of Syria were rescued by Israeli commandos in 2015, because they lived in Aleppo and were all elderly.

Lebanon has 20 Jews left.

Yemen has 1 Jew left, in prison facing torture for helping one of the last Jewish families in Yemen to escape with a Torah (funnily, there is huge protest now among English speaking "activists" that Israel has stolen Yemeni artifacts because 60000 Yemeni Jewish artifacts were accepted by an Israeli museum. Literally "You are stealing Yemeni heritage!" the clownishness of that statement cannot be overstated.)

It goes on and on. Every country in Asia, North Africa, and Europe is like this, every single one. FRANCE has the largest population of Jews in Europe, and the population has shrunk 70% since the 1970s DESPITE receiving 120,000 Algerian Jews who were fleeing Algeria.

However, it's something I've sensed very deeply and I think it's important to start trying to talk about.

Much has been said about how traumatic Oct. 7th was for Israelis and really Jews the world over, and lots has been said about why that was - from the fact that it happened on what was supposed to be a joyous holiday, the fact that this violence was as barbarous and sadistic as it was, the fact that it drew on deep historical wells of intergenerational trauma, to the fact that it was met with immediate denial, betrayal, and even celebration from supposedly progressive goyim - but something I have not seen much discussion on is how that ongoing denialism and even celebration of the carnage made sure that the trauma stuck.

See the thing is that one of the best predictors of favorable recovery outcomes from trauma is the support the victim receives, especially in the immediate aftermath. Victims with strong support networks, who are believed and whose grievances are taken seriously, recover much faster and much more holistically even from objectively worse traumas than victims who lack support and/or whose traumatic experiences are denied or dismissed. Seems obvious enough, right? That's why advocates for survivors exhort communities to listen to survivors and victims, and to hold space for them. We know what happens when that support is denied.

In some ways, the Jewish people is like a horrible case study in what happens when that denial of support happens - not just on a large scale, but over the course of time through numerous generations. In every generation they come for us, and every generation has the opportunity to step up. And so far, every generation has failed the task. (There are of course, some wonderful individuals who do step up; however they are the exception that proves the rule.)

The sadistic celebration of atrocities committed against Israelis and the denialism were not just unpleasant side concerns - these were active components of the violence.

The bottom line is this: if you deny the atrocities of Oct. 7th and the ongoing hostage crisis or try to excuse or downplay them, you are actively participating in violence against us.

Ok, so PSTD doesn't set in right away when you experience trauma. You actually tend to get something called Acute Stress Disorder and this period lasts for about a month. It is absolutely critical during this time to have support; once it goes to PSTD you are mostly stuck with it because by this time, your brain has actually experienced damage. No joke.

Meaning, back in Oct to early Nov, Jewish people and Israelis the world over should have gotten support from friends/allies/etc to help them with the severe trauma Oct 7th caused. That immediate help would have done WONDERS for them.

But they didn't because instead, too many friends/allies/etc didn't just deem them unworthy of any help; they actively have been adding onto that trauma. Now we have another generation with PSTD and the shit that goes with it, continuing the generational trauma and fall out from that (including higher potential for descendants to acquire PTSD from traumatic events and other 'fun' stuff)...and it's only going to get worse because again, that lack of support/adding on of trauma is only getting worse.

"The bottom line is this: if you deny the atrocities of Oct. 7th and the ongoing hostage crisis or try to excuse or downplay them, you are actively participating in violence against us."

And now that you (non Jewish people, non Israelis) have been told twice (first Unbidden-Yidden, now me) about how exactly you are causing damage, there's no excuse.

Here are some examples of boundaries that aren’t actual boundaries.

Not A Boundary: “You can’t email me on the weekends.”

A Proper Boundary: “If you email me on the weekend, I will not respond until Monday.”

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Not A Boundary: “You can’t talk to me like that.”

A Proper Boundary: “If you talk to me like that, I will hang up the phone.”

Not A Boundary: “You need to respect my time.”

A Proper Boundary: “I will end the meeting at the scheduled time.”

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Not A Boundary: “You need to be more considerate and thoughtful.”

A Proper Boundary: “I would like you to do these specific things for me and if you don’t, that’s okay, but I will not invest more time I to [sic] this relationship.”

Not A Boundary: “You need to show up on time.”

A Proper Boundary: “If you are late, we will not wait for you.”

-

Not A Boundary: “You need to give me less work.”

A Proper Boundary: “I will not work more than 50 hours a week.”

Not A Boundary: “You need to do a better job.”

A Proper Boundary: “If you don’t make these three specific improvements by the end of the quarter, I will give you a negative review.”

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Boundaries are not mandates for other people to follow.

Boundaries are not demands.

Boundaries are not expectations.

Boundaries are not ultimatums.

Boundaries are not idle threats.

Here’s what a boundary is…

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It’s a particular course of action YOU take to take care of yourself when a particular set of circumstances arises.

That’s it.

It’s about what YOU do.

Not about what THEY do.

Ever.

"metafiction" - for self-aware fiction "meta analysis" - fannish nonfiction (also consider the "Essay" tag!)

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req'd by @vicandcix

Thank you!! Here, have more little guys (zoom in recommended)