? we just don't know

Reblog if you write fic and people can inbox you random-ass questions about your stories, itemized number lists be damned.

It's always a knight in some fuckass brigandine nowadays 🙄😒

okay what are some excellent recent poems

The entire point of, OK, my phone really wants to call it Anastasia so I guess we’re doing that? The entire point of Anastasia (as administered by a board-certified Anastasiologist) during sugary. Sugary? Haven’t I suffered enough? The entire point of Anastasia during augury. Jesus Christ. Hold up. You know what, augury is preferable to sugary. Augury is obviously performed by an auger (makes sense if you give it a think) whereas sugary is performed by…? A sugardaddy? NO THANK YOU. Anyway. The entire point of Anastasia is so that you don’t know what music your sturgeon. Fuck right off. Was playing. While you were under. You’re not supposed to wake up from Anastasia and immediately realize you managed to get earwormed by Motörhead’s “Ace of Spades” during your sugary.

if monsters inc came out today there would be a minimum of 1,000 (one thousand) fics where mike and sully are gay and together (celia is either not mentioned or just doesn't exist) and boo is living with them and never went home to live with her actual parents who are determined to have been abusive/neglectful for not realizing that a actual monster was scaring her at night (despite the fact that it's normal for kids to get scared in the dark and she can't actually speak and said monster was very well trained and good at scaring and could literally make himself vanish at will)

It’s actually so misogynistic to assume hetero Jessica doesn’t also jerk it to twinks in panties

You gotta watch this one the whole way through.

hey so uh next year will be a decade of dobonhonkeros. how about that shit huh.

Happy ten year anniversary of this post.

"I have never seen a cat that showed affection/love for it's owner" is the pet ownership version of "I don't believe in Female Orgasms they don't exist, after all, my wife has never had one"

Your father use to roleplay as a tape worm for my pleqsure

hope he did a good job at least. Didn't embarrass the whole family.

He strutted his shit kinda

blowjob? more like nojob! #unemployed

blowjob? more like job blows! #employed

my erotic fanfiction is more historically accurate than yours. here it claims that shes moaning 'yes,' however classical latin didn't have a word that corresponds to Modern English 'yes,' i.e. an affirmative answer to an interrogative. You could have easily avoided this glaring implausibility by allowing her to moan plus, 'more'—as exemplified in my critically acclaimed fic with an unprecedented number of kudos (eleven). I recommend that you log out of AO3 and return only after acquiring satisfactory knowledge of the subject matter.