🐝🌸

PRESS Ⓐ TO BE WEIRD AND UNSETTLING

“it’s not that deep” it’s not that shallow. now what

Seasonal ageries are caused by an aerosolized form of gagobears

I like the nodding emoji 🙂‍↕️ for how at peace it is. when I use it I feel like a wise sage who has reached an enlightened truth of the universe. mmmm 🙂‍↕️ monkey

They need to make tiny little shorts that fit properly if you have a dick

I love bulge as much as the next woman and no amount of it stopped me from wearing shorts with a 5cm inseam but now that I no longer have a dick shorts I've owned for years are suddenly much more comfortable than I thought possible and this is a travesty

NEEDLE FELTING?????

one of my favorite bits in lord of the rings is something the movies didn't really try to do because it's entirely internal, but sam's carrying the ring and it starts trying to do its work on him, so he's having these intrusive visions of himself marching at the head of a vast and terrible army, and he just starts laughing because, me? samwise gamgee? sam gamgee the general sam gamgee the dark lord are you for real? man i just want to go home and do some gardening. and the ring gets frustrated and it starts trying to figure out other stuff that would actually tempt sam and it's finally like, okay, but hear me out: imagine if you could have...A REALLY REALLY BIG GARDEN

The funniest thing you can add to any piece of media is a boy detective. Breaking Bad needed a 13 year old child who goes around looking for clues to the caper and whatnot.

Hank