elderbwrry

Man I miss free the nipple. Its getting warmer and we don’t even have free the nipple anymore

god dammit, just battled an ancient evil too powerful to defeat alongside my heroic allies and now they're all talking about "locking it away" and "binding it in a vessel" we are soooooo fucked

the party mage just brought up the idea of each one of us taking a part of the sealing artifact to prevent them from being reunited again and releasing the evil, no way these dumb assholes aren't getting corrupted 🤦

okay so after a little time bonding with my shard of the blackstar, I've decided that 1) this was actually a pretty good idea and 2) all the armies of the earth must tremble before me

in the club getting psychosexual

the hottest thing a guy can be is barely conscious on the floor while someone lifts his head up by the hair so that you can see his glazed out eyes and the blood running down his face

my cat is completely obsessed with watching the bathroom sink drain and I have started calling this "her shows." as in when I'm in the bathroom and she meows and runs up I'll be like "oh you want to watch your shows?" and run the faucet for an extra few seconds so it fills a little. she will then sit there at the edge of the sink for ages totally entraptured by the drain. blorbo from her sink

yes im addicted to attention and orgasms and food and shiny jewlery and 7$ Iced Lattes. does that really not sound like an awesome lifestyle to you

punk is actually about wearing all pink and and frills and lace and calling yourself the worlds specialist princess

actually fuck it im just going to start saying “oh, thanks for the movie rec. but… does it have needless violence and sex that adds nothing to the plot and people being assholes to each other? because i won’t watch it otherwise”

fellatio sounds like a supporting shakespeare character rather than oral sex on a penis to be honest