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@elaborateruses
intro post 👀
• call me yoro :)
• formerly known as idiotandahalf
• percy jackson, sitcoms, books, music, plants, bein gay
• mid 20s (leo sun/taurus moon)
• queer!! bisexual + non-binary transmasc (they/them and he/him pronouns!)
tags + more under the cut!
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‘shane fell first!’ ‘ilya fell first!’ BZZT . INCORRECT . they tripped at the same time & bonked their heads together so hard that they mistook love at first sight for having a concussion .
Casually getting emotional while drinking my cup of coffee thinking about how perfect of a sexual partner Ilya Rozanov is.
He knew Shane was nervous and unsure about what to do. So he cracked jokes, teased him so Shane would roll his eyes and call him an asshole. He gently nudged Shane out of his comfort zone and praised him. Gave Shane agency and control, but took it back when he felt like Shane needed it more. He made Shane feel desirable, but also made sure Shane knew he desired him.
He checked in on him multiple times, not just before he started but also during AND when they swapped positions. He let Shane pull him down to kiss him because he knew that's what Shane needed when he first started going. And then he took the time to take care of him afterwards. Cuddling him, nuzzling and kissing him. Asking him if it was okay for him to leave him while he went and showered. He wanted to be sure Shane was both sated and taken care of.
Ilya could have been purely selfish and just taken what he wanted. But he knew how nervous Shane was and wanted him to have fun and enjoy it too. He gets off on Shane getting off. Ilya made what was an anxious moment for Shane so fun and sexy and romantic. No wonder Shane was ruined for him on day 1.
HEATED RIVALRY 1.04: ROSE + HRTwT VERSION
leverage season 1 plot
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I hate it when I talk wistfully about the ancient world and then people are like “you wouldn’t survive back then” yeah obviously I would die immediately but do you think achilles would be able to survive in the modern world if he had to send one polite email? no
congrats to these people on being funnier than me on my own fucking post
[Image ID: Multiple screenshots of tags. I have replaced most subsequent hashtags in each image with commas, for readability. The exception is hashtags used for categorisation.
#do you think odysseus would survive modern catcallers, like what will this mf do when he finds out its illegal to decapitate men who are being rude to your wife, #classics
#I’d like to see Ghengis Khan go through customer service
#i hope this email makes you prey for dogs and carnivorous birds
#achilles didn’t survive back then either so
#king wouldn’t survive a DAY in customer service
#I would LIVE for achilles trying to send a polite email, what IS the polite email equivalent of killing somebody with your bare hands tie them to your chariot, and drive it around a city filled with their loved ones, repeatedly? as per my last email
#achilles would throw his controller and entire gamer chair at the wall
#would you say thats his. his achilles heel-
#his mom has to do tons of damage control, achilles would be cyberbullied within an inch of his life
[the only image of a text post, not tags] Achilles was immune to physical damage but not to posting cringe
#some of these people genuinely have me feeling the rage of achilles in my replies, #text
#if there were an epic poem about me writing emails it would also begin with rage
#greek stuff, lmfaooooooooo, achilles screaming crying throwing up having to not be a mean bitch to service workers
#achilles would spontaneously combust if he had to send one polite email to agamemmnon
End ID]
"I'm going to empty a magazine in the dark"
litmus test for tumblr olds
GLaDOS: I spent some time researching common human insecurities so I might better insult you. I've discovered that physical insecurities often manifest due to feelings of envy stemming from comparing oneself to others.
GLaDOS: There are no other humans in this facility. Just you. Therefore, you lack a source of envy of which would trigger the feelings of insecurity in your tiny simple human brain.
GLaDOS: A shame, isn't it? I thought so too. Which is why I've taken it upon myself to artificially create a humanoid body for myself so that you'll have someone to envy. A female figure who is taller than you, more mature than you and has larger breasts than you. Gaze upon my new form of perfection and shrink away in your envy. You'll never achieve this level of perfectio- why are you smiling at me like that. Stop it.
Full isometric game map of Portal 1 video game.
by VGCartography
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shes my barbie doll and brother im playing dress up
glados saying "once testing starts, im required by protocol to keep interaction with you to a minimum. this will be our only chance to talk." during the beginning of portal 2 only to immediately talk to chell during every single test is funny on its own but that along with the cut scene where she stops the elevator between tests to ask if there's "anything you'd like to say to me? anything at all?"...she's so lonely and desperate </3
stop putting GLaDOS in polls she's TOO powerful. she's ratioing everybody. sweeping like she's cleaning up for company. why would you put the queen of the fucked up lesbian robots on your poll on the fucked up lesbian robot fucker website? it's barely even fair.
glados' problem is literally just that she's super fucking horny but the only way she can do anything about it is force hot girls through test chambers
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Yes but what if the Torment Nexus has a like, really hot deep robot woman voice while she tries to murder you and the puzzles are really fun
actually glados would love “btw. if you even care.” as a way to end literally any sentence if portal was made in the 2020s. like yea. this test was previously a military training course that uses live turrets with real bullets btw. if you even care.
