Maybe if I just work harder, this empty cup will pour again
Maybe the cup needs a bit of time to rest and refill?
Maybe the cup needs to lock the fuck in???
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@egosentrick
Maybe if I just work harder, this empty cup will pour again
Maybe the cup needs a bit of time to rest and refill?
Maybe the cup needs to lock the fuck in???

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Increasingly worried that I've killed my career so I won't kill myself. I do this to finally disentangle who I am from what I do. Because what I've been doing has not been good enough. I don't think it's good at all. The admission eats at me. And I'm worried that I won't last the year.
I've deluded myself to think it's a fresh start. The hopeful part believes me. But the dark part is getting stronger. And I'm worried I can't fight it back.
I am cursed. Cursed to dream big, and cursed to fail. I fear I won't break it in time for me to see the beauty of life. I fear I've already seen life's beauty and that it pales in comparison to the abject disappointment that is me.
Rebirth feels good 😊
I would really rather just die.
I'm so done
I'm so done
I'm so done
Just fill my mouth with soil and splinters.

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I feel like I have no fire left in me. Nothing to fuel my actions. Instead, I feel pulled by invisible strings, dragging me across time's fabric. I numb my brain every chance I get, and when the feeling returns, there is no fire to purge the bad ones away.
I keep fucking up.
By the way, this is why bright or unusual colours have been a sign of wealth for almost all of human history
Pigments and dyes take a lot of heckin work
I love how, when the blue becomes a bit blown out and flat, you can see the moment the camera gave up on trying to represent the actual color and said sorry, this is the bluest I got (yes like in that one Tom Scott video about the pinkest pink)
one day you think: I want to die. and then you think, very quietly: actually. actually. I think I want a coffee. a nap. a sandwich. a book. and I want to die turns day by day into want to go home, I want to walk in the woods, I want to see my friend, I want to sit in the sun, I want a cleaner kitchen, I want a better job, I want to live somewhere else. I want to live.
- via duckbunny

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Poor Grandma
this is seriously the one time I wish a video has sound.
Brilliant.
What the hell is this? :O
Me at 1000 years old
What do we say to the God of Death?
Not today.
I haven’t seen this post in YEARS so I forgot what it’s like. I nearly screamed.
Betty White when Death comes calling
Tried to find the original source (the vid description gives it… but are out of date or something)… Still, here it is, in full, with sound:
a) That is the creepiest Death I’ve ever seen in a moving format.
b) What the actual fuck did I just watch.
c) I’m always here for little old ladies curbstomping malevolent supernatural entities.
d) @pepperstrawberry is a HERO for finding and providing the full video.
Go grandma!
I thought for sure this was Sylvain Chomet stuff
is the world really such a terrible place? yesterday i asked if oat milk was extra and the barista said yes so i said ok just regular milk then and when she gave me my chai latte she whispered “i used oat milk ;)” doesnt that make u want to live another day?
here is my life philosophy: next week there might be someone ahead of you in line at the store who’s short a quarter and you have a quarter and you can give it to them. if you weren’t there, they’d have to put something back. the week after that you could be getting lunch and the waiter might ask if you want some pancakes someone else ordered and never picked up. you could find someone’s lost cat. you could watch someone’s bag while they go to the restroom. there are so many ways you are going to touch other people’s lives and they are going to touch yours and there’s no way to know when it’s going to happen. so you have to keep living!!! i wouldn’t want to die knowing that tomorrow the barista will give me free oat milk just to be nice.
When I was 11 years old - we went to Sea World for my birthday. This was to avoid the realization I had no friends, and no one to come to a birthday party and probably because someone gave my mother free tickets at work. It was kinda a shitty day despite being at a theme park full of cute animals. There was a new roller coaster there that had just opened so we decided to go on. I was nervous. I’d never been on a roller coaster.
A group of 6 college kids were ahead of us in line and started chatting with me. Full on just having a fun conversation with someone literally going through the beginning of a very awkward middle school period. I was so shocked they wanted to talk to me. I think my mom mentioned it was my birthday. They were very nice about it. When we got on the ride they told us to go ahead of them so we could sit at the front of the car since it held 8 people.
Now the ride (called Journey to Atlantis - I believe it is sadly no longer there) started with a slow ride of beautiful visuals of dolphins and oceans and computerized images of this imaginary Atlantis before going up the hill to the beginning of the coaster, where it paused for about 30 seconds, and then the ride started. The college kids must have known there would be a pause. Maybe they’d ridden it before I’m not sure.
But as we sat there on that peak, 6 people I’ve never known, and will never know again, sang a very very lonely 11 year old happy birthday. Loudly. And with gusto. They were happy and laughing and joyful. And it made me feel less alone in the world.
I am 29 years old this year, and I still remember them. I still remember that kindness. It is so important. It doesn’t go into a vacuum. It exists beside me in my daily life. And I love the idea that I have been that person to someone else too.
It’s stunningly lovely to be human when we’re kind to each other.
OH THIS CAN’T BE LEFT IN THE NOTES
Your participation is requested for tiny moments of beauty.
مثلا ...
There is a worm in my head that whispers "You shouldn't be here." constantly. It's ruining my ability to work.

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