lavender menace

ilya telling shane about irina and how they were best friends and he hung out with her all the time and he was her protector and he would skip school on her bad days to brush her hair and make sure she ate something even if it was just tea and she was an angel and you know shane is calculating how best to gently bring up to his husband that that doesn’t sound like it was very fair to child ilya without ilya reacting like a wild fucking animal

not here 👀 rozanov you better get off👀 you suck My dick! 👀 why did you think it was ok to sext me before the game!?👀 please stop..👀

i maintain this entire thing is ilya's fault not because of the showers but because he could have just let shane blow him in the entryway like a NORMAL 18 year old dl hookup and then everybody could have moved on with their lives. but nooooo instead mr pathetic stray rat dog just had to insist everybody get naked and cuddle. like u can see the exact moment it occurs to ilya "hmm he has never been with another guy before... this means i now have carte blanche to convince him any level of emotional intimacy is normal 😈 ahaha guess who is getting their skin-to-skin contact needs met TONIGHT boys 🤪"

i can’t stop thinking about ilya clubbing circa 2011. diesel jeans, shitty prada button up, hair absolutely CRISPY with gel. cliff marleau on his left tricked out head to toe in ed hardy. cloud of fucking paco robanne in the booth. cîroc with a sparkler sticking out of the neck. “this my fucking song, marly!” and it’s david guetta’s ‘where them girls at.’ he’s so drunk, he’s so loud, he’s got the drips, he’s spent $2300 in two hours. no one knows he’s gonna be gay married in ten years. i have to cry!

I should be doing more to appreciate the lack of marvel movies in today's popular culture. I once yearned for marvel movies to have this level of irrelevance. They used to feel almost ozymandian, like an empire that had no beginning and no end. and now tony stark iron man is naught but two vast and trunkless legs of stone.

fucked that you can’t fix other people especially when you really care about them. Oh so im just supposed to be there for you while you suffer. like a useless cunt gargoyle

people will describe their incredibly nebulous sexuality to you that they’ve never been able to define and the whole time you’re thinking that sounds like bisexuality brother

"first nine months of your mortal life" of course Louis believes life begins at conception he's old as fuck and catholic

very soon the entirety of the tumblr dashboard will be consumed by insane people being insufferable over AMC's interview with the vampire. fortunately i am one of those insane people

do you think Anne and Charles ever saw the scars on each other’s back. do you think they were ever aware that they shared shackles. do you think they realized their violence was born of the same yoke. do you think they considered the way the other was used for the sake of men who saw them as tools for pleasure and wealth. do you think they they knew that their freedom would always be tainted by the past and that its pursuit stemmed from fear. do you think they recognized the pain in those marks. do you think they ever talked about it. do you think they thought their bodies would never truly be theirs because of it. do you think—

james flint's most endearing trait is that he understands women to be inherently three-dimensional, complex and deserving of respect (especially for the positions of authority they occupy). in contrast, he is barely convinced that most men have brains.

just thought about jaime lannister again. fuck. that rat monkey bastard. he is privileged, he’s richer than most bloodlines combined, he looks like a girl, he’s almost 40, he has mommy issues and daddy issues and sister issues and brother issues, his name means ‘i love’, he’s been unserious all his life, he used to be the best swordsman in the land, he is disabled, he is blond, he’s used to crossdress so that his twin sister can play with swords while he learned to sew, his fursona is a lion, he is greying, he’s in love with a girl he’s been bullying the entire time they’ve known each other, he wants to be topped by her, he used to fuck his sister, he’s washed up, he has body dysmorphia, he fought a bear, he’s the only reason his disabled brother is alive, he wants to save everyone, he can’t save anyone, he watched his children die, he killed his king, he kept his promises

the stupidest circle of hell is when you're like oh this ship is SO obviously supported by canon surely everyone must talk about it and then you find out the dedicated popular yaoi is some total bullshit