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Got sad today because two sixth grade students shared some inside joke that was so funny they collapsed against each other in giggles and I was hit with a massive wave of “I’ll never be young again.”

sandersstudies

Got happy today because one of those same sixth graders (they’re seventh graders now) approached me after seeing me have a irrepressible giggle with a friend and said “you and [my friend] are just like me and [his friend], you can’t stop laughing.”

sandersstudies

This is genuinely so important. If the only people a kid can look up to are serious and authoritative 100% of the time, kids start to assume that they have to abandon whimsy, imagination, and silliness to grow up and to be taken seriously. Don’t do it. Stay silly.

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lumsel

There's an open pit in the middle of our office plan that drops down into a bunch of very sharp spikes that kill you instantly. This is bad. People keep falling in there and dying. Someone put a sign up, the other day, all bright yellow so you can't miss it, that says "Beware!!! Spikes!!!"

The office immediately split into two factions over it. One says that if anyone falls in the spike pit it's their own fault for being so stupid and not watching where they're walking, so we should remove the sign. The other says that the sign is an insult, there shouldn't be a spike pit in our office at all, and having the sign up like that is just normalising the existence of the spike pit, so we should remove the sign.

We ended up removing the sign. Probably for the better. Still... for a while there it looked like it might have worked...

unusual-pybro

m1dori-eyes

Nobody has ever been capable of writing a scathingly harsh and well formulated satire about the perils of modern capitalism, that doesn't just get immediately one-upped by some random food service worker talking about their actual week.

forfawkssake

I hate it when you’re reading smut and you can’t figure out what position they’re in.

jonmoxleys

sometimes it just ends up being something like

onlyhereforthedrama

ITS BACK

dontleavemydreams-deactivated20

lord

uhmgilinsky

Y’ALL NEED JESUS

forfawkssake

Please stop reblogging this post

myterribletwenties

This post made my water break

myterribletwenties

In honor of my daughter’s first birthday next week, I’m sharing the post that made me laugh so hard that it broke my water.

forfawkssake

WHAT

hotchstuff

God, I love this accursed website.

myterribletwenties

Hey internet, the girl that was born from this post is 4 years old today (July 2 2021) also, the gif still makes me laugh. Happy Birthday, Marceline!!

twomanyfandomshelp

Happy July 2nd, 2024, guess Marceline is 7 now

insufferable-yapper

Happy July 2nd, 2025; she’s 8 now (5am for me)

myterriblethirties

Happy Birthday to my Marceline, 8 years ago today (July 2, 2025) she came into this world five days before her due date to see wtf was so funny 🤣 this post, like many other things, are on a long list of topics to discuss when she’s older lol

brokenteardrops

Happy 9th Birthday Little Marceline!!! (July 2 2026)

myterriblethirties

It’s July 2 2026 internet, help me wish a Happy Birthday to my brilliant and beautiful 9 year old, Marceline! I’ve shown her (most of) the comments and she says “thank u internet 😁😁”

hopeless-eccentric

if i met a genie and fixed the world and all its ills with my first two wishes, my third wish would be that sabrina carpenter would get gradually taller. she'd be in on it and think it was hilarious. we'd have a strong cap at 7 feet here, maybe an inch a week so people have time to theorize--let's not be ridiculous. but she'd still keep up the "ooh! im so little and small!" schtick. but shed be gradually getting taller. she'd be like 6'1" and still jumping for the microphone. and she'd never say anything about it. and if anyone asked shed act like she had no idea what they were talking about. and shed cheekily play into it a little bit but mostly still keep up the "ooh im so little and small" schtick. do you see my vision. do you get it

hopeless-eccentric

ok and so if i met a genie and fixed the world and all its ills in one wish i would do the sabrina carpenter thing second and third i would wish for all evidence of one random taylor swift song to disappear from the world once every month or so. taylor would have no memory of it. her fans would remember it and there would be an outcry over where it went (it's not even in concert videos anymore!) but taylor would have no memory of it

instead, all her brainspace spent on that song would be replaced with the vivid memories of roman gladiator, taylaurius velox. she's able to hide this at first, but her music begins to take on a gradually romaner and romaner tint. at first, people are like "damn, she's getting REALLY conservative, huh" and other people are like "wow, she's so deep, she knows what a rubicon is" but eventually travis kelce leaves her out of nowhere (he wasn't sure if dating someone possessed by a roman gladiator made him gay or not and anyway he was getting sick of being like "we're going to play the lions" and taylor being like "LIONS? WHERE?") and taylor publishes an entire brutus themed album about this betrayal and it's beginning to weird people out

and so eventually travis kelce is getting like, bomb threats sent to his family for leaving taylor and eventually he's like "okay, okay, i left her because she kept having all these vivid nightmares of gladatorial combat and she kept saying that football was giving her the ick because we never actually killed anybody for the glory of rome" and then he just gets more bomb threats because he left a struggling woman during a mental health crisis

and eventually taylor is writing music about her forbidden roman senator lover and her fanbase is either whittled WAY down or WAY up because people want to watch this trainwreck happen (or maybe she influences culture so hard that we're just all really into rome now) but she's being super cagey about the name of this roman senator. until. and now here's the twist:

weird al has been getting all of the same vivid memories of taylaurius velox. and he still has all his memories of her old songs. so he's writing all these detailed song parodies of taylor swift songs that don't exist anymore including specific details about their shared gladiatorial reality that taylor has never shared with anybody else. including that her lover's name was publius, and she's been calling him Poob for short

at this point a lot of original swifties are leaving. they could do the brutus stuff, but they really can't survive poob. taylor makes a clapping back at the haters song including the lyric "these bitches don't know publius" and it ends up all over all sorts of merch. there's a renewed archaeological interest in roman gladatorial combat

most importantly, the internet discourse is the best it's ever been. does this make taylor swift transmasc? is travis kelce problematic for leaving his fiancee while she gradually morphs into a roman gladiator? is this good queer representation? if taylaurius velox was a gay man, does that mean the gaylors were technically correct? is weird al morally wrong for capitalizing off of her music if she cant remember it anymore? was weird al sent by god to torment taylor swift?

anyway thats what id do if i met a genie

officialbizness

isuggestforcemasc

I will continue posting in favour of there being fewer people like that

godfrey-the-chaos-duck

god my heart is fucking breaking for all these people THERE IS STILL TIME DO YOU HEAR ME

IT ISN'T TOO LATE AS LONG AS YOU'RE ALIVE

boyslit

hi everybody i started HRT at 35 so like don't even despair

being in ur twenties makes u feel like 30 is a brick wall u either fly over or crash into but i promise u it's a door and it opens up into the rest of ur life like getting past the prologue of an open world game

boyslit

very important addition from @thatsladyfaggottoyou ty <3

doberbutts

I started HRT at approximately 30 and top surgery at 32 just 4.5 months prior to this photo. It's never too late.

esoanem

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heckling-hydrena

my blue thinggg

smoqueen-deactivated20251108

im not horny it’s something else entirely. really wish there was a word for it

smoqueen-deactivated20251108

i think i just want to run. Like i just want to run

maswartz

$fractally blog's avatar$

fractally

This has been my main argument against "AI" from the very beginning.

OpenAI scraped the entire web. All of which had been a labor of love from humans. Wikipedia is the backbone of a lot of LLMs, and that was volunteer human labor. They stole it and now they're selling it back to us.

And worse, they're trying to destroy the free sources that they stole from. It's destruction of human knowledge on an unprecedented scale. The burning of the library of Alexandria has nothing on this.

that-house

Making a shitty one-page RPG called Oh Shit It’s the Killer. The premise is simple: you’re a high schooler spending the weekend in the woods with your besties. The Killer is there also. He is trying to the Kill you

that-house

I say shitty not to demean the quality of my work but because it’s less an exercise in good game design and more an attempt to induce paranoid internal conflict that turns into murder (in game of course). It has like three mechanics and one of them actively encourages you to murder the other PCs

that-house

Great news!

It’s done

I put like three braincells into this, so if there’s anything about it that outright sucks, uh. Sorry not sorry, L + ratio + let’s use the 1-page restriction as an excuse for any unfun mechanics

that-house

“What if there was a game about being a genre-savvy slasher protagonist murdering their way to the role of Final Girl?”

“Sounds cool when exactly does the PvP start”

“character creation”

cyphir-spacerobot

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!

koiagain

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flanbolt

dramatic-dolphin

i love declining birth rates 🥰 "what a horrible problem! society will collapse!" oopsie it looks like you're gonna have to make having children worth it 😊 teehee you're gonna have to improve society in order to fix this problem, or it will all collapse. oh noooooo. how horrible. :3c

weirdthingifoundonline

luxuki-1

This was a deleted scene in the crossover episode (trust)

edit: I made a sequel

secondclassvines

“what my sims do when im offline”

officalsuper-k

I watched this video like 5 times before reading the caption cause I thought I was having a stroke.

knucklecurve

filthy, filthy read

nogaynolife

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battle-for-dyke-island

this is what healthcare is like as a disabled person

orcboxer

kinda bullshit the English language doesn't have a discrete word for an unlit campfire. you light a campfire, but what is it before you light it? also a campfire, I guess. I need to invent a word that can be intuitively understood as "the arrangement of wood that is intended to become a campfire"

dorian-they

well "an arrangement of wood that is intended to become a campfire" sounds like it's just a bundle of sticks and I think there is a collective word for that maybe

orcboxer

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