I'm too old for this

IT’S HALLOWEEN TIME TO GET SPOOKY

I T S T H E M I D D L E O F J U N E

I T I S H A L L O W E E N T I M E T O G E T S P O O K Y

World Heritage Post

The princess I kidnapped and keep locked in my tower recently got on tumblr and has since been complaining that I don't respect her 'hmphs' enough. I'm not sure she understands our relationship.

The new maid who took me to this nice summer home doesn't seem to be listening to me? Even though I'm literally going "hmph!"

how much psychic damage would you guys take if i saw you in game and then messaged you "i like your shoelaces"

what would the proper response be anyways. "thanks i stole them from bartleby" ?

Fortuneteller, turning over the Death card: Don't worry. It isn't literal. It simply refers to some form of change. Me: Phew Fortuneteller; turning over the Gets Eaten by the Fortuneteller While Trying to Leave card: That can also mean many things

oh god i just realized ive been posting on corporeal tumblr this whole time 🤦

Oh! I thought you just lost your login and decided to just stay on corporeal instead.

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giant salamanders could be even larger

I’ve had tumblr for 4 years but some of you bitches have had it for a decade. It’s time to seek penance

wait I’m curious now . Reblog this with how long u’ve been on tumblr for. Dating back to ur oldest blog ever !!!

My cat is emotionally abusive towards me

He is a misogynist he used to hit me

The scene in Shrek 2 when the Fairy Godmother sings I need a Hero when the giant gingerbread man attacks the castle is still the greatest scene in cinema of all times

i really hate the way the "boobs vs butt" thing got broken down into this implicit idea that butt is the nobler stance. it's really stupid. personally im a woman guy. [realizes how that sounds] [purses my lips in thought] [nods confidently] im a woman guy

they used to do nothing to me back in the morally neutral lab. it sucked

you were the control

fuuuuck what were they doing to the other folks #fomo