Chick fil A Wants Me Dead

Imagine the level of whimsy I could reach if I just had $5M in my bank account rn

…do you think, during his year of isolation, that Tara ever sat on Gale's chest while he was asleep and purred to try to heal the orb because it's like an ingrained biological cat type behaviour?

I'm becoming the most unemployable version of myself

there's like 10,0000,0 accounts with names like "Best Heritage Posts" and "Tumblr Hall Of Fame Posts" and "So Funny Hellsite Posts" but where's the shitty posts accounts. where's the hall of fail accounts. i want to see the worst of the worst

heritage post

come on man

I would delete your shitty caption addition in every lifetime

asking my therapist to rank me among her other patients

losing a bond you thought you'd have forever really changes u

wiping my cheeto dust hands on your shirt. i want to build a beautiful life with you