Killin' It

what I wouldn't give to have the gastric constitution of a nine-year-old again. like you know when you're in grade school and you're like okay I'm gonna have some gushers and pizza and one of those dubious chalky grocery store cookies and then go run around with my friends! and now as an adult if I eat the wrong brand of peanut butter I have to lie down for an hour

seeing people in the notes who are like "it's a good thing I can still eat whatever I want 😇" and they're like, 19... I was you once. and in a couple years you might start to suspect that your favorite fast food joint is giving you mild food poisoning every time you eat there. they're not. it's the milkshakes. go buy some lactase pills.

when tumblr is like "this post went to heaven" brother that is not where these posts go when they die

In the 70s - 80s we'd have bands that would write songs with titles like The Penetrator and the lyrics would go "with big bad arms / I plan your defeat / I search your hole / to put my meat" and cishet people went yup this is the height of masculinity it can't get any straighter than this

i hate these modern all-plastic playgrounds for kids... safety blah blah blah, they're ugly

i know that children crave steel and iron

The psychological thriller of figuring out what you want and what you’re going to do about it

Gimme your hoodies so I can take ass pics in them.