Slightly Sarcastic With A Good Chance Of Gay 🌻

Playing anything after playing assassin’s creed for a month: why the fUCK can’t I climb this

assassin’s creed was the first video game I ever played, and I finished the first game in a weekend more or less without pause. then I went to work on Monday and, being totally unfamiliar with the Tetris effect, was extremely taken aback by the immediate impulse to reach my teller station by vaulting over the counter. I mean, I didn’t even question it at first. I made it maybe two long purposeful steps forward before my brain caught up and I spent the rest of the day doubting my own actions.

refuse to fact check this. don’t want to be disappointed

When I say love makes us human, this is what I mean.

my favorite love language is trying, actually

like when people try to learn your hobbies or try to play the same sports that you play in an effort to get closer to you, people who try to love you the way you love people, people who will go to places you want to visit just for your sake, people remembering, putting in an effort. just. trying

This went from "He's making a truck!" to "He's MAKING a TRUCK!!"

That’s not a cursed image

So others need not squint to read “On March 11, 889 CE, 17 year-old Emperor Uda wrote:  ‘On the 6th day of the 2nd Month of the First Year of the Kampo era. Taking a moment of my free time, I wish to express my joy of the cat. It arrived by boat as a gift to the late Emperor, received from the hands of Minamoto no Kuwasahi.  The color of its fur is peerless. None could find the words to describe it, although one said it was reminiscent of the deepest ink. It has an air about it, similar to Kanno. Its length is 5 sun, and its height is 6 sun. I affixed a bow about its neck, but it did not remain for long. In rebellion, it narrows its eyes and extends its needles. It shows its back. When it lies down, it curls in a circle like a coin. you cannot see its feet. It’s as if it were a circular Bi disk. When it stands, its cry expresses profound loneliness, like a black dragon floating above the clouds. By nature, it stalks birds. It lowers its head and works its tail. It can extend its spine to raise its height by at least 2 sun. Its color allows it to disappear at night. I am convinced it is superior to all other cats.’”

“[list of traits common to many or all cats] I am convinced it is superior to all other cats” is the cat owner’s creed

quick someone colonize britain while they're weak

ireland youre right next door

i want to lay around in the middle of summer and do absolutely nothing with her. i want to sit on opposite ends of the couch scrolling through our phones. i want to sit in those uncomfortable airport chairs as our flight is delayed for the third time. because it doesn't matter what we're doing because it's her. and that's all that matters. all that matters is that she's there too.

It's 2029, Tumblr has all but been abandoned, except for two posters. One is a 35 year old Onceler holdout from Nebraska. The other is making ground breaking cum jokes that could have defined an entire decade of posting. The two never had an overlapping mutual cluster, and as such, each person believes themselves to be the last poster on Tumblr.

“I’d kill for you. Please ask me to kill for you.” “No.” Is a top tier ship dynamic no I do not take criticism

The idea of a person being capable of incredibly immoral acts but held in check but their love of their partner sends me every time

i mean personally i hope the queen recovers from covid and makes her first public appearance since being diagnosed only to fall down an insanely long flight of stairs. like three minutes straight just rolling down unforgiving marble steps. like a bouncy ball. dead after the first two minutes. can't make it too quick.