Screaming

@bunnysmoothie pls post the screenshots.. u know the ones

never ask a woman her age a man his salary your mutual how late it is in her timezone when she starts posting about that bisexual man

is this like one of those rubber bands they put on lobsters so they don’t pinch you

1 in 2 women pee a little

um...actually, i pee a lot.

1 in 2 women pee a lot

Don’t wanna be indecent

i’m obsessed with the mum from ponyo. driving single lane on a cliff edge? drift those turns in your nissan cube. husband has to work an extra shift? tell him to fuck off in morse code. pet fish turned into a child on your driveway? adopt her. town drowned in a tsunami? leave your 5 year old in charge, he’s the man of the house now

I don’t think the club could handle her

There is another way

By the Nine, keep your whore mouth shut

Pretty sure the other way involves keeping your whore mouth open