Fallor Ergo Sum

“really?” I say to inanimate objects that are not working like they usually do

“Stay.” I glare at inanimate objects that continuously fall over

“Thank you!” I say exhasperatedly to the inanimate objects when they do finally work right/stay put

“Sorry! I say to the table I bumped into

“SHHH” I say to the inanimate object that keeps making noise

“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming,” I huff at the persistent kitchen timer.

“Don’t take that tone with me!” I exclaim at objects that make strange and sudden unknown noises.

“Stop crying, you’re fine,” I snap as I’m looking for the charger cord for the electronic device beeping demandingly at me.

“Oh nice, real mature,” I snarl at devices that suddenly stop working after I berate them for not working properly.

JESUS CHRIST I HAVE NEVER RELATED SO HARD IN MY LIFE

“Don’t you shout at me” to the till whenever I don’t hit the right button and it beeps shrilly at me.

Report: humans seem to believe that inanimate objects possess a spirit of some sort, and will often address them thinking the item will hear and understand. This makes our previous observations about the joy they experience when blowing things up quite disturbing.

“But I know every rock and tree and creature has a life, has a spirit, has a name…”

i’m serious ladies, like, at this point, any time you start to write or say “i’m so stupid and useless because i’m clueless when women are flirting with me/don’t know how to flirt with women” you should be taking those words out of your mouth and replacing them with “i live in a society that is actively hostile to women loving women, which has offered me no models for how to pursue these relationships and taught me that my feelings for women are predatory and disgusting” 

i’m tired of lesbian self-hate being treated as a Funney Meme 

it fucking pisses me off so much that the pieces of exodia card art don’t connect together in any way

tbh the best way that i explain to other people what it feels like to live with an anxiety disorder is the one time when i had to get a fingerprint and background check done for a job and i, someone who has never received so much as a speeding ticket my whole life, spent thirty minutes panicking that i would fail because i might secretly be a criminal and have no idea 

me, driving down the road obeying all traffic laws also me, simultaneously in my head, explaining to a nonexistent cop who didn’t pull me over how I was obeying all traffic laws.

drunk sorority girl in 10″ stilettos on her way to a starbucks at 3am trying to hail a lyft by screaming bitterly at passing cars (she’s forgotten you have to use the app)

ngl i been off tumblr since they unporned and I came back pretty much because I knew you people would have the proper appreciation for tennant walking around like his thighs recently went through a vicious divorce and have now both showed up drunk to the same red carpet event

yall I fucking bled for this peice of trash pls like it 

oh. I thought it was a photo.

Damn it took me 5 minutes to figure out why you wanted people to like a picture of soap. You did such a good job people think you are just posting random pics of soap.

That fucked with my brain…it was almost like the Twitter dress fiasco

They have nine beverages between the two of them

What they have are five beverages and four waters. Water, by definition, cannot be a beverage.

The fuck do you mean water cant be a beverage?