November 1st, 2018.

not to flex on anyone but i’ve never wanted to fuck a serial killer

There is a tree out there growing wood for your coffin.

Bold of you to assume my body will be found

remember when you were a kid and whenever your parents came into the room while you were doing something for pleasure like looking at something on the computer or watching tv and you’d immediately close the thing like you’d just been caught watching porn when you were actually doing nothing wrong this post was made by strict parents with no boundaries gang

HELLO MY BABY HELLO MY HONEY HELLO MY RAGTIME GAL

anyone wanna come over to my house after school and do this? it doesnt have to be weird

This is a feature and the game isn’t complete without it

but the real question is how did chidi get so ripped? bench pressing humanities’ collective sins and moral failures???

he went to the gym but couldn’t decide which exercise machine to use so he used all of them

Since the two best-selling games of all time are Tetris and Minecraft, I think we can safely say that people fucking LOVE squares

too many fuckn degrees outside

yeah dude fuck those college kids

i’m so bad at remembering the average age for baby milestones like someone will be like “she’s 18 months (:” and i’ll be like “right what can she…… do? teeth? are there teeth?”

on all levels except physical i am an emo middle schooler

when they jonas brothers were like “i came from the year 3000..not much has changed but they live underwater..” that was a politically charged remark about climate change and we all ignored it