Ass Rabies

🥳

for my next trick i'll chromecast the grindr hookup map onto a fucking sextant

owww. owwwuh. fuck. wait. *pulls out* theres a damn rock in your pussy man.

can i jsut say… isnt it insane that polar bears go underground like imagine just walking along with a shovel and u start digging a hole and a bear is in there

Acceptable use of 'Boys will be boys'.

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Everyone say thank you to OP and the keep reading function

I will mash that Reblog button every single time this shows up on my dash. I spent a lot of years martyring myself for “the needs of the business.” Young people? Don’t fucking do it. They don’t care about you, you are a “resource,” not a human being. I can’t say this strongly enough: see to your self-care!

If you are not the one doing the hiring/schedules/training, then inadequate coverage is your boss's fault, not yours.

If you are not the one doing the hiring/schedules/training, then inadequate coverage is your boss's fault, not yours.

my friend was testing perfumes out at the store and she sniffed a bottle and anounced "ngl this bitch kind of sucks" The girl at the counter suddenly looked really sad, and my friend was like "I'm sorry, I wasn't talking about you." And the girl looked up and said "No don't worry, I didn't think that, but I just crushed a ladybug with my shoe" We both took a peak over the counter. she'd stepped on a red m&m

my dnd party has run into an npc who may or may not be evil and may or may not decide to betray us and the dm was in chat today like “just so everyone knows…not addressing this comment at anyone in particular…his favorite colors are red and black…wink” so now i’m desperately trying to get a real physical friendship bracelet done before session tomorrow in the vain hope that i can somehow stop this npc from trying to do a murder on my party

UPDATE: the npc was in fact a shapechanged adult black dragon with violence and conquest in his heart. however he did let merry put a friendship bracelet on him and then when she was like “hm okay how big is your wrist in dragon form” he was like “you wanna see?” and then turned into a dragon and let merry measure him for a second, dragon-sized friendship bracelet. the dm described him afterwards as being deeply confused as to why he did this or let any of this happen to him. call that the merry effect

this guy is now a recurring npc because merry was SO determined to make him her friend that it actually somehow worked. he cast dream to talk to one of my party members like “hey…how’s it going…how are the tieflings in the party…not that i care…also i’m not lonely. bye” and the player was like “is he still wearing merry’s friendship bracelet in this dream” and the dm was like “yeah…”

murder is bad? even if i say sorry afterwards? even if i am an anime girl.

this is the worst website

"i'm looking respectfully" well i'm looking carnally. i'm looking like a whore

Slorst in the sorce

pompeii

Biden couldn’t bury them all…