Wild nights are my glory

you have a disgusting storytelling addiction

It’s true. It goes back a long way, too. It all started when…

we did it! we saved the fucking whales!!!!

Common eider

between this and the library that did the "what would we grab in a fire" video (that later ironically actually had a fire), I think librarians promoting their libraries might be the funniest people on the internet.

the amount of vitriolic replies to this post makes me want to analyze why people react so angrily to having an unhealthy behavior being pointed out to them.

hi pals. if you're worried about potentially losing SNAP next month please check out find help, and find food pantries or other free / reduced cost food support in your area. If you don't receive benefits, and have a bit to spare, please think about donating to your local food pantry this month (or donating a bit extra if you can swing it.)

All my hearing damage is from bands that fuckin shred \m/ \m/ so I've got elevenitus. It's one higher.

aliens stole yo fruit snacks

I’ve been a UFO enthusiast for 2/3rds of my life and this is the most convincing alien encounters story I have ever heard.

Happy just-over-ten-years to this post. Early in its life, it was viewed by a seventeen-year-old aspiring astronomer who DESPISED it, thought it was the dumbest Space Post ever, got mad every time it crossed her dash. But this wasn’t anybody I knew, and she did the mature thing and didn’t send any hate mail about it, and went off and got her whole entire astrophysics degree without me ever finding out. So how do I know about this person’s deep dislike for this post? BECAUSE. I have, at press time, been sleeping next to her for three and a half years

god I would be UNSTOPPABLE if I was capable of consistently initiating tasks. just you wait. you'll be waiting a while but just you wait

‘bread is bad for you’ ‘rice is bad for you’ sorry im not subscribing to the idea that staple grains that have been integral to cultures for centuries are evil. i love you carbs

we do need to revisit the wording of "you can't have your cake and eat it too" because i don't think it clearly enough conveys that it's more that you can't simultaneously retain a cake and also get to consume it (which would render you cakeless). for years i was like But why not....it's my cake....?

this fucking problem is how they caught the unabomber

hey you should uh. elaborate. for my own personal satisfaction

the unabomber was pedantic about idiomatic phrases like "have your cake and eat it too" and rephrased it to "eat your cake and have it too" (which to be very fair makes sense). fast forward to when he starts writing manifestos. he uses the phrase word for word in his pedantic style and his brother (who has been keeping his eyes on the unabomber shit for obvious reasons) notices the phrase and is like "oh fuck that's my fucking brother no one else fucking says that" and calls in an FBI tip

Give 'em the ol razzle dazzle

I love how they all gave up after that cartwheel. I want to imagine this tactic works in other situation.

the (presumably) dad’s “again.” is sending me

reblog this to put a leaf on your mutuals head