if shes your girl then why am I in her uncles dms lowballing his ebay listings

it’s october which means it’s time to listen to listen to melancholic music while wearing a big coat and staring wistfully out the window on public transport

do you ever find yourself in an elevator or a bus or a train car with a bunch of people and think to yourself damn we’d make a compelling ensemble company for a black box theatre play or a novella of some kind should something go wrong here

But also I think the whole point of your 20’s maybe is to “get stuck” in such a big way at least once that it shocks you into promising yourself to never let it get that bad again

Girl who’s re-cultivating hope in her future after a multiweek breakdown: I’m going to the bookstore to buy a book

im pickling shit you aint even jarred yet

drunk driving my steed and I got ambushed by a group of bandits in the woods. fuck my stupid life my liege lord is going to kill me

can you please pretend not to notice the worrying change to my leitmotif? thank you

accidentally said Shirley instead of Siri and now my phone is stuck in Airplane mode

i’m burning the candle at ends you’ve never heard of

"please advise" is the professional email equivalent of "girl help"