Me quiero autoprogramar

i love you people who can't drive. i love you people with bad reading comprehension. i love you people who can't move out of ur parents home. i love you people who can't work. i love you people who can't order for urself at restaurants. i love you people who refuse to go to the club. i love you people who don't or can't eat vegetables. i love you people with adhd who can't pick a halloween costume. i love you people who don't leave ur house very often. and i love you people who can't make phone calls

And not just "oh people called you gay to be mean" like they literally thought you were homosexual and hiding it. Women would literally be like "damn, I was super attracted to him, but I heard he wore shorts more than twice in a week, so I guess he must like men."

you couldn't even wear a scarf. the scarf made you gay.

I need my weird alone time or I will explode

the only thing the video game industry hates more than piracy is making video games

She was an American in a fanfic written by someone British; I was a Brit in a fanfic written by someone American. She came to me and said "will you help me with my maths? I need to get a good grade to stay on the American football team"; I told her "I'll bloody well help you parse math".

there’s just something so awesome about a character you love getting really badly hurt

when a dr is bad I’m like should I become a terrorist? and when a dr is good I start planning where I’d seat them at my wedding