Qifrey At Your Service

(red is for really important, sensitive, emergency, or health related stuff, green is for really important but not that emergency stuff)

what to do if you're having a heart attack and you're alone

how to tell if your drink has been spiked

tips that can save your child from getting harassed or worse

chemicals that should not be mixed in any way or ✨death✨

its okay to leave uncomfortable situations

something adorable that will make you happy

crisis text line

deadpool teaches you how to tell the symptoms of abnormalities in your man berries(or woman berries but the berries down there)

please dont kill yourself . do this instead

facts that can save your life

these are MAP (pedo) flags people. stay away .

you are important

dealing with the worst case scenario

what to do if you fall in an ice hole

8 rules of writing

how to start a fic rec blog

awesome playlists

some piracy websites lists. fuck capitalism

sfw sex education sites

if you're having a bad day or night

does the dog die website evolving!

how to do emergency cleaning

studying tips

how to deal with anxiety

important. for safety

anti anxiety

app that can help you avoid self harm

how to make origami butterfly page markers

space technology stuff you can use in science fiction

queer book finder!!

do not eat mold people, even if you cut it out. no.

SPITE COOKBOOK (my personal fav)

how to get rid of migraines easily

LIST AND PDF OF BANNED BOOKS HDSHFDSGDS

how to tell symptoms of breast cancer

sites to download pdfs. fuck capitalism

some google hacks

build a character(masterpost)

obligatory rickroll cuz im a tumblr user and it would be a shame if i didnt insert a rickroll in here

tips to help you when you move out and be independent for the first time

for when you're bored

100 good questions to ask your friends at 4:02 am when you can’t sleep

tips for when you're sad but dont know why

post that never fails to make laugh however many times i read it

important life lessons/skills/hacks

alternatives to self harm

art masterpost

how to cancel a network from somewhere that bills you monthly

how to build a campfire the right way and pros and cons of campfires

how to report the person threatening self harm on tumblr and possibly saving their life

100 reasons not to kill yourself

the masterpost including alternatives to self harms, coping mechanism and medications to abuse, adhd, addiction , anger, anxiety,panic attacks, bipolar disorder, depression, eating disorder , ocd, perfectionism , schizophrenia , along with what to do if friends have illness, coping up with grief and loss, and many other important links with helpline too

how to make your own maxi pads dispenser

recognize abusive friendship

what to do when there's a fire and you can't escape due to disability

some fuckin resources for all your fuckin writing needs

some depression tips

if you are american this can save you from hospital bills even in the best hospitals

fuck the entire laundary industry (how to make your own awesome washing detergent )

pay attention to stalking victims

check whether its just normal stomachache and/or menstrual cramps instead of appendix problems

hex codes for lgbtqia+ flags

quick test for writers to check whether they are being scammed or not (please check the notes and reblogs as well cuz they are important as well and i couldnt find one single version of the post with all the useful tips

an awesome discord life hack

click on this , not a rickroll, it'll be worth it, i swear on destiel

masterpost on how to write a story

how to see if something you are seeing or hearing is a hallucination or not

super long and important post about how to move quietly if you are in an abusive household

reminder that sexually intrusive thought are not sexual fantasies

learn how to make a threat properly (writing advice, i repeat, writing advice ) (also useful for real life)

important daily reminders!!

Links from where to do illegal research AS A WRITER

writing about alcoholic drinks and cocktails

important for people living on their own for the first time

what to do if your partner tells you they have HIV after sex

favorite poems and love letters

do not let debt collectors play in your face

tips for tattoo artists

caring for your vagina

are you having a bad day?

grow your own food

if you can only take care of one thing, here's what

basic cooking teaching resources

a quiz that hands your ass on a plate (trust me)

beautiful hijab styles (personal fav)

the ultimate guide to chocolate chip cookies

reasons to recover from your eating disorder

everything is awful and im not okay: questions to ask before giving up

you did not lose your google docs permanently

food that can be made without too much effort

HOW TO PROPERLY GIVE EPIPEN TO SOMEONE ELSE

never put up with unprofessional managers

how to make those sweet looking bows that dont look like shoelaces

magic tricks that are so easy but look so fucking cool

how to make those heart locket type of thing

limits of the human body

words to replace said

dealing with executive dysfunction (a masterpost)

google drive folder with linguistic and language books

this is how it looks inside a bag of cornflakes

artist's favorite place to find drawing references

tumblr's only adult supervision's (neil gaiman ofc) bagel recipe

remove any paywall

whats wrong with gandhi

lgbtqia+ headers!! ykw , check out their whole blog its full of everything lgbt @justlgbtthings

you feel like shit

a post similar to this one

how to solve a rubik's cube

Anyway, she really, really loves it when I tell her stories. She loves stories anyway, and at first this manifested as "stories about Tad-Cu Bryn", aka my father (her grandfather) who died before she was born. This has been a lovely way to keep his memory alive, and she adores every story - she has her favourites, which she will request.

Then it became apparent that she specifically loves me telling her stories. She'll happily ask others for them too, but from me she just wants any anecdote at all; which of course is wonderful and demonstrates that she is a child of impeccable taste and wisdom and brilliance, but also she has ADHD and the energy reserves of a seven year old and so this gets Tiring very quickly

Yesterday, in the car on the way back from the wildlife centre, she asked for one of my longer stories, and I was like hey, how about we try something different?

And she was like, no, tell me a story about Tad-Cu Bryn

And I was like, this will be a brand new story and you get to play it and help me tell it

And she was like, explain

So I gave her three characters to choose from. The first was a warrior with a sword she could name, who was nonetheless dyspraxic. The second was a gymnastic elf who could commune with trees but was afraid of heights. The third was a dyslexic witch whose spells sometimes go wrong when she spells the words wrong.

She picked the witch. I pulled up an online d20 on my phone. I went to start, and she insisted my mother had to play as the elf.

So I told them that the new queen of the kingdom had called for them, because their palace treasury had been robbed - specifically, a single enchanted coin that brings luck and wealth to a ruler's reign had been stolen. And tales of enchanted coins were suddenly emanating from across the land, so each one needed investigating until the right coin was found.

It turns out kids who like stories will absolutely lap this shit up. She was enthralled. It was the simplest story - they had to get into a bank, revive some unconscious gnomes, then enter the vault, find the coin that had been deposited into it, then get back to the queen. Enough to fill a half hour car ride, basically, but she managed to fill it with all the wacky hijinks you get from a ttrpg, particularly when she tried to smash a door down with a hammer but rolled a 1.

We finished with the queen saying it wasn't the right coin, and then my niece demanded we go again, this time with her playing as a sapient reticulated python. That time we made it all the way to the final boss fight, which was a sorcerer who created a big coin monster out of loads of coins; I asked my niece what she wanted to do, and she described graphically how she wanted to constrict and eat the sorcerer and immediately rolled a 19. So, sure! Okay. The sorcerer is now very dead. The coin monster, though, was still there, and as my niece tried to say she would do the same thing, I was like, no, you're a snake and you just ate. You're now immobile.

At this point, my sister advised her to regurgitate the sorcerer.

Great! said my niece. I'm going to do it at the coin monster.

And rolled a 20.

So she projectile vomited a dead sorcerer into the coin monster, and won the day.

Anyway, today she immediately demanded we play "the game with the story where we choose", and my brother in law is now asking me how he can do this with her ("Are you making it all up as you go along??"). But yeah, turns out, this is a fantastic way to entertain a seven year old. Vague ongoing quest, then three steps: get into (place), resolve (minor puzzle), boss fight to finish. Boom. Easy.

WHAT ABOUT DOOMED SIBLINGS

Batman: Commissioner, Robin has killed him. We have failed you. I take full responsibility, as does Robin.

Gordon: OK.

Batman:

Gordon: So, what? You need help?

Batman: Commissioner, I don't expect-

Gordon, grabbing Bats by the shoulders and shaking him: Get a hold of yourself. Now, do you need help with the body? Does Robin need change of clothes? Counselling? I know a guy. Bullock? Bullock? Robin was in your squad car all night, right?

Bullock, appearing from nowhere: Yeah. Little twerp ate half my powdered donuts and broke the car radio. Had them the whole night.

Batman:

Bullock: I ain't a baby sitting service, Bats.

Batman: But-

They started messaging. Cachét complimented his drawing of a human-bug threesome and asked for a print. Three years later, Cachét and David got married. The human-bug threesome drawing hangs on the wall of their home.