this cannot be a real fortune i just got
me: oh yay! i love fortune cookies 🥰 can’t wait to see what my fortune is! 😄💕
this cookie: kill yourself and shut the fuck up
Misplaced Lens Cap
AnasAbdin

titsay
NASA
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

oozey mess
Jules of Nature

roma★
trying on a metaphor

Janaina Medeiros

blake kathryn

Kaledo Art
Stranger Things
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Cosimo Galluzzi

Xuebing Du
tumblr dot com

PR's Tumblrdome
seen from Argentina
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seen from Italy
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@nervosityperson
this cannot be a real fortune i just got
me: oh yay! i love fortune cookies 🥰 can’t wait to see what my fortune is! 😄💕
this cookie: kill yourself and shut the fuck up

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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stop reblogging butch and femme Matthew Lillard
Out here hitting the Bong of Anubis
*me hitting the bong* this isn’t that bad actu-
one of my favorite this american life segments of late is about the people who played orchestra pit for phantom of the opera on broadway and how, like, a sizeable majority of them had literally been playing the show since it opened in 1988 (on broadway. I know it opened in 86 on the west end, you random pedants, but I am specifically talking about broadway musicians) because their contracts stipulated that they'd have jobs throughout the show's entire run... but nobody anticipated that phantom would become the longest-running broadway show of all time.
and none of these people wanted to walk away from a guaranteed job, so very few of them ever quit. they just kept doing the same show eight nights a week... for twenty or thirty years... and by the time it finally closed last year most of these musicians (who had been working together for DECADES) hated each other and really really fucking loathed phantom. I can't stop thinking about it. it's indescribably hellish to imagine but also the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life.
can you imagine.
[ID: excerpt from an article reading: One of my favorite stories, which should drive anyone who has every played in a band crazy-- there’s this bassoon player who has sat next to the same clarinet player since 1988. She’s convinced he plays half a note4 flat on every note he’s every played. He denies this. /]
#the correct reaction
IRON LUNG (2026) dir. Mark Fischbach

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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#the correct reaction
IRON LUNG (2026) dir. Mark Fischbach
i like to entertain myself by thinking about Bad Succession -> (alternate reality succession where it sucks). constant sepia-tinted flashbacks to traumatic childhood memories, with echoey abusive dad dialogue. post-car accident kendall is haunted by a hallucination of the waiter everywhere he goes. shiv has girlboss moments where she triumphs against misogynistic men and they learn not to underestimate women. once you get started you can’t stop.. the ideas are endless. they would try to make kendall into a rebellious bad boy type with personal demons. he would have a scene where he stares into a cracked mirror to represent his fractured psyche
somehow managed to do a messy tubular peyote with tri beads.. its really fun to hold
ok its like 50/50 in the notes so far but
is this a fleshlight or a dildo?
Fleshlight
Dildo
-
Butcher’s delight with 7 strips of meat and “THUNDERCLOUD WALTZ”
Composed by Shephard Knox
Tribute to John Stump <String quartet No.556(b) for strings>
You’re gonna have a good time
Megalovania if it was in major key rather than minor key

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Mitch McConnell will die two weeks from today (8/31/23)
there is no need to charge or cast i just be Knowing
Like i said dont ever fucking doubt me again
Ohh ok
Awesome
Rye grain is the GOLD STANDARD when it comes to mushroom cultivation. Anyone care
HOOKJAW HERMIT - paguroidea nerka
Defining the borders of the great Shale Flats and hidden Chiton, the Brittleclaw Mountains rise high into the sky. Among pale blue peaks, springs of clear water bubble from deep within the rocks and feed into a winding river system that leads all the way to the western sea. These glistening waters hold life of all varieties, and tucked between the roots of rock-fruit trees and flowing mountain kelp, one species in particular alters the lives of all who live among the Brittleclaws. The full cycle takes about twenty years. Hatching in the shallow mountain pools, high above the clouds, the Hookjaw Hermit starts life about the size of an apple. The soft shelled hatchlings are vulnerable, and easy pickings for predators. From river eels to even other hookjaw young, the young crabfish have plenty to hide from. Littering the pools, rock-fruits that have fallen from trees above make excellent shells for the hermits. The soft flesh within the fruit has rotted away, leaving a hollow sphere of stone, split open and ready to be inhabited. Most scholars assume these trees are why ancient hookjaws chose these mountain pools to spawn over any other location - over the course of the twenty year cycle, plenty of fruit will fall to the water below, their rinds the perfect starter shell for a young crabfish. Then, a great journey begins. Out of the pools, into the rivers, down the mountains, and out to the coast. The hookjaws let the water carry them in this time, ready for a rich life at sea. And there they stay for decades, eating, and growing. One hermit can go through over one hundred shells in its lifetime, each shell originating from a huge variety of different species living amongst the seas of The Continent. After twenty long years, the mating season begins, and the usually peaceful life on the coast erupts into mayhem. Lumbering from the waters, the hookjaws begin a pilgrimage, up the mountains to the very pool they spawned in. This time however, they won’t be swimming. Great armoured legs carry the beasts up the mountains, through villages, trampling crops, farmers and anything else caught under the rising red tide of carapace and scales. In this time, the females become high value targets for poachers. Swell with eggs, each the size of an apple and sweet as honey, many are hunted during the run. But for each female hunted for the prized roe, countless hunters are lost to the snapping claws of protective and hormone frenzied males. Those that survive the run find their way to the pool that they hatched in, so many years ago. After mating, the hookjaw hermit's life comes to an end. The hulking giants come to a peaceful end, surrounded by familiar waters. Their bodies rot away, feeding the roots of the rock-fruit tree, leaving behind their shells nestled amongst the regalia of their ancestors. Next spring, the young will hatch, and a new generation will follow the river, out to the sea. A problem for twenty years from now, I would imagine…
(still rendition)
Other creatures of The Continent:
SPECULAR SAILFIN (MAKAIRA TINCTUS)
SLATE NAUTILUS (RASA TESTA)
HALLOWBAT (VESPERTI SPECULUM)
You can support me on Patreon for £1 and help me make stuff like this!
Is that…… them
YALL THERES MORE TO THE SERIES
I kill your grandad's foes
They die incredible

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went to a new optometrist today wearing my squid facts ‘save our freaks dont mine the deep’ shirt from @sarahmackattack that has a strawberry squid on it. and i wasn’t even thinking about it but the optometrist walked in and he was like ‘oh what does your shirt say’ so i showed him and he was like ‘oh that’s neat!’ and then i thought he might like to know about strawberry squid eyes since they have weird eyes and he is an optometrist and all. so i was like ‘yeah it’s actually a real kind of squid called a strawberry squid, their eyes are really cool because they have one big yellow-green one and one small blue one’ and he kind of gasped and went ‘oh my god that’s so interesting i wonder why they have that. do you know what their retina composition is like?’ and i watched as he minimized my chart on the computer and started looking up images of strawberry squid and then he googled ‘strawberry squid retina composition’ and he was like ‘sorry we’ll get to your eye exam in a moment i just really want to find out’ LMAO 10/10 optometrist experience will be returning
Walgreens texts you your prescription is ready and then immediately calls you like PICK UP YOUR DAMN PRESCRIPTION NEOW OR THE PHARMACY TECHNICIAN GETS IT
I meant "gets it" as in they will kill him but I like your idea of Drugs Georg better