('i take it from the mouth of an animal')

[ID: screenshot of a facebook post in the Entomemeology group. The post reads: I am the house's designated spider relocator and I decided to mark the cups I like to use for it so they don't get thrown out accidentally. I did this so the spiders don't panic and just know their ride is here. also beacuase i am australian, it also comes in size large. edit: I made it sillier. Below the text are two images. The first shows two clear plastic cups, one small and one large, upside down on a table, with Uber Spider printed on them. The second image shows the same cups with sheets of card next to them, the cards have cars and part of the Uber app printed on them. /end ID]

Ohhhh caesar zeppeli you done this again to my wine glasses

the thing twitter has over tumblr is the ability to have handles next to your url which is especially good in the case of environmental storytelling, for example the person that tweeted something like "every time a gay person [does something nonserious] I go to chick fil a" as an obvious joke and their handle in the screenshot was "[name] the GAY IM GAY" you really cant get that level of storytelling here

"autogynephilia" is fucking hilarious to me bc like. i promise u i get more hot and heavy seeing myself looking sexy in a tight little dress than any trans woman does doing her estrogen shot and getting ready for work. every night i watch myself in my bedroom mirror as im getting undressed and into my pjs and stare at my tits and bounce my ass for my own perverted amusement.

so you are saying a man would still have "privilege" over a woman if he had all of his arms and legs and hands chopped off by a vile machine?

machine groaning gears churning steam whistle blows in blizzard HQ as the overwatch diversity machine explodes in a puff of black smoke and out on the conveyor belt rolls a third japanese character who happens to be a ninja

for anyone keeping score they added a 4th japanese character who happens to be a magical ninja. i'm not joking.

i love it when italians argue about italian. like we don’t even know how our language really works we just roll with it

Italian is 107 different provincial languages stuck together with spit and half a prayer

My bf lives in another region and we are constantly arguing about regional variations of words and we both live in the fucking north of Italy

one time i saw a map of italy but instead of cities and roads etc it was just covered w different ways you can say the word vagina. it was covered

oh I can think of at least seven ways to say the word vagina right off the top of my head rn. I can’t imagine what I could do if I tried harder

this is the Italian Vagina Map, reblog to… I’m not sure actually. Can’t hurt though. 

reblog to Italian season your pussy

one time i saw an aesthetic collage themed around shooting stars and one of the photos was of the space shuttle columbia disaster

Next month I finally start my overnight shift at the lab and while I'm not sure how easily I'll adjust to becoming fully nocturnal, and not sure if I'll want to remain on night shift forever, I do think it's funny that my trainers so far have been gassing me up as a potential overnight supervisor if I can stick it out, and not just because I'm basically a natural at everything they're showing me but also because it will be a really funny bit for them to turn future new hires over to the pale and ethereally beautiful overnight supervisor named Carmilla who looks much younger than she actually is and works with the lab's blood samples. imagine being a new hire at a big empty overnight laboratory and your supe Carmilla adds you to her team slack channel and it's called #thralls

millenial-themed dispensary called rollables

just 2 they/thems with a crazy idea

bongs and pipes? no. handhelds

shotgunning? no that's called a shareable

$45.99 after the 35% tip and also he wrote my name wrong on the joint