Ceci n'est pas une weblog

Hey kids, you need to start worrying a little less about getting “#mogged” and a little more about getting “#smogged”. This is an Air Quality Index public service announcement.

the problem with parents is that they are undiagnosed

johnny cash's little brother jimmy pennies is 3 inches tall and has a voice only dogs can hear

we need to invent a spray tan-style treatment but instead of spraying you with tanning stuff it sprays you with heavy duty spf. and it lasts a few weeks so that way you can just get your spf spray a few times a summer instead of having to spend 10 minutes every day getting sticky and oily and making sure the sunscreen is all rubbed in. how do i get on shark tank

[the most low energy you have ever seen me] we’re about to go crazy mode

you have to remember it's always always worse on twitter

(no beers in) So how do you perceive me in the privacy of your thoughts