Hello all! Mort Finkel here, DIY practitioner of dental medicine on SCTV Network. Or at least I was, until they switched out my demonstration liquid with actual rum and I proceeded to get so drunk during my one segment that they had to carry me home.
I never even got to show the audience how to fill in your cavities with bread crumbs like I was planning. God damn it.
Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself. Some people at the studio told me that this might help me to get “hip with the times”. Whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean. Or that it might help with impulse control I’m not impulsive at all, you bastards just decided to switch the liquids out on me because you thought it would be funny--
Ahem.
Anyway, feel free to submit enquiries here. Appropriate enquiries, please, because I’m told the studio executives can see this blog. Or not, I mean....technically I think I was fired, despite me insisting that my dental license is very much real. But I still don’t want to see that.
Any explicit content will be deleted faster than I can pull a wisdom tooth out. Which is fast. Believe you me.
(Edit: Rules page now found here!)
