Egg Time

"They've got nobody in the Odyssey?"

"No I'm saying they don't got nobody."

"Nobody's there?"

"Nobody's not there!"

"So everyone's there?"

"Everybody but nobody!"

My son loves to do the same upside-dacula-down stare lol

"The hat is customizable," he said, struggling with the velcro patch on the front. "If I need it, I have an ICE one too. I pick based off the business i walk into."

"Customizable is an important hat descriptor," I said. "what can I get you?"

"You wouldn't believe how offended people get these days," he said. "And I'm supposed to do something about it if you're offended? You chose to be offended!"

"We all have hundreds of thousands of decisions everyday," I said. I thickened my accent. "That's what my stepdad always said. But I can make one easier - we have a delicious Ethiopian roast available."

"Like if I told you you have a bull ring," he said, "because bulls have rings in their noses. Is that offensive?"

I laughed. "I've heard that before."

"It's a joke, but people get offended. Maybe you're offended."

I looked at him. I smiled. "You aren't trying to offend me though, right?"

Of course he was. I was being friendly and the friendlier I was, the faster he switched topics. He was saying anything inflammatory he could think of to see if I'd take the bait. After about 20 minutes of my redirecting and deescalating, he settled into a more normal interaction. He took up too much of my time showing me a product I'd feigned mild interest in to get him to stop talking about getting accused of inappropriate behavior at work. When we finally disengaged, he spent 10 minutes trying to catch my eye again. When he failed, he left.

There's this new breed of customer who insists on trying to incite political conversation through their clothing and, when that doesnt work, their snide little comments. If I owned my own business, maybe I would have given the guy the fight he wanted. But I work for a corporation and I love paying my bills so I deescalated.

Hm, exactly. I think people need to start connecting the fact that the current rollback of reproductive rights in the US to the point of full-on abortion bans in certain states is going to be directly linked to higher rates of forced pregnancy in trans men. Obviously, this isn’t to mention the trans men who do actually choose to get pregnant (which is more common than people think, because believe it or not, there are men out there who actually want to parent children) but I think in this situation, it is so important to understand that stripping away reproductive rights ensures that anyone capable of pregnancy is controlled by the cis men both in their daily lives or in the government, and trans men are extremely vulnerable to this because forced pregnancy/marriage/parenthood is a very common method of detransitioning trans men.

Allowing TERFs to claim a literal fucking body part that half of an entire community has and therefore preventing trans men from expressing their experiences, feelings or opinions about that body part is incredibly dangerous, because it forces trans men to suffer (and in some cases die) in silence when they are being abused and controlled by misogynistic systems in place that specifically target the means of reproduction.

Trans men have had reproductive care denied due to transphobic discrimination. Trans men have had their insurance companies deny them life-saving surgeries due to having an M on their gender marker. Trans men have died from lack of gynecological care. Trans men have died from preventable illnesses due to a lack of knowledge or care from cisgendered doctors. Trans men have died from lack of education over how their body functions during their transition (many young trans men are not aware that testosterone does not inherently make you infertile, and cis men are able to take advantage of this by impregnating them without their consent. Remember when semi-popular transmasc chaser (and cis man) ChrisOveralls “joked” about getting trans men pregnant and then dealing with the subsequent miscarriage? In some cases, that’s not just a hypothetical, and is in fact the reality for actual trans men trapped or manipulated into relationships with dangerous cis men).

Separating trans men from discussions about reproductive rights and mullerian anatomy kills trans men.

any time someone is in any kind of crisis or upheaval, offer to feed them. tell them they don't have to choose what it is if they can't make decisions, just ask about allergies and preferences and tell them you're just gonna make food happen at their house.

friend having a baby? delivery gift certificate to order food to the hospital after the kid shows up.

someone's relative passes away? offer to make them dinner.

buddy gets laid off? ask if you can order them lunch.

pal stuck in a depressive episode? offer to drive them to fucking mcdonalds, if that's what they want.

people in crisis are tired and sad and angry and the last thing most of them are doing is thinking about feeding themselves. so if you have the ability or time or money, providing that is always, always a good move.

William Hays

"Emerald Stream."

Cut 2 of the most famous adventures for 6 minutes of fleeing the giants

Cut the Nobody scene entirely

De-hottied Circe and made her overly-emotional and reactive and falsely accuse the men of being rape threats. No nymphs or magic besides the soup.

Had the Trojan horse portrayed as a war crime so bad it ended society and was deeeefinitely the worst and most dishonorable thing done in the Trojan war (cut the rapes from the sacking of Troy while still trying to make it a symbol of lost society so they just stab a lot of women and wax esoteric??)

Slander Menelaus and Helen. :’-] he did not drag her back as his slave queen they’re literally one of like 2 endgame-still-ok Greek couples. (Speaking of weird changes in the family, they keep Agamemnon killing his daughter, but totally leave out what he did to Cassandra)

Odysseus actively doesn’t want to get home to Penelope and Telemachus

Mentor is just some guy 100% of the time instead of usually Athena.

Odysseus is neither a wife guy nor sufferer of hubris (that is not my beautiful king that is not my beautiful general)

The gods just aren’t there. They de-god Calypso and also sort of do the lotus eaters as just her (but not. It’s bad). Hermes? Gone. Poseidon? Poseidon who. Zeus? Helios? Nah. Athena? You think so but no, that’s just Odysseus and his PTSD talking to himself.

The gods aren’t there but one of the messages is to give yourself up to God’s control and to let go of trying to carve your own path? Which Odysseus does??? Confusing and off target. 0s across the board.

They cut all the humor. No naked Odysseus. Not a laugh was had.

Odysseus won’t let Telemachus help him fight the suitors bc ‘you’d be exiled’ and then runs away with Penelope at the end instead of the remotely normal ending to the book. Why? I don’t know

I can’t tell you what it’s about bc even though it was 3 hours every scene felt like the sparks notes version, but my best guess is ‘it’s ok if society collapses bc it will rise again’???

Shot like someone who didn’t go to film school made it. Scene 1 Nolan was cutting to people every time they spoke I was dying. No audio off-camera so cringe. Also insane camera movements like did we need a push in for the 0.5 second cut to a servant listening in? Was that 0.5 seconds not gripping enough? Really??? Dude what are you doing

Why was Tiresias moving like a worm in the sand

The hunting dog got more screen time and character arc than Calypso

Every woman was handled badly. Every single one. Actually Clytemnestra was fine she was there for like 15 seconds but they were ok. Otherwise though just badly handled every single time and in gods’s bizarrest ways (what if Telemachus and Penelope fought over which one of them was good for the throne. What if Calypso wasn’t holding Odysseus hostage or sacrificing her eternal happiness by letting him go. What if Circe was a crazy emotional middle aged woman who sees all men as rapists and turns them into pigs for no reason but she’s neurotic)

seriously it’s so weird to get back to Ithica without seeing Hermes, Athena, or Poseidon once — but they’re not plot relevant, right?

Odysseus is personally responsible for the fall of Greek civilization bc of the Trojan horse trick. He basically nuked civilization. (Yes all of it bc that’s the only civilization at this time. What do you mean no it’s not that’s crazy I mean I’m p sure it’s just Greece)

Cut the whole ‘only my husband would know that’ thing with Penelope and the wedding bed

Stole the exact amount of one of Jorge’s songs you legally can

Didn’t let Odysseus go full feral in the finale

Not a Greek in sight in the main cast. Just lots of Americans and other Europeans. Really bad costume design too. And set design.

Literally start ‘the Odyssey’ with Odysseus home in Ithaca already. 98% is a flashback. First version of the Odyssey ever both thematically and literally not about going home