LB the Magnificent

the enemy drank water today. did you?

i drank water three days ago. im several steps ahead of the enemy. this is what it takes to win

you can make most fandom drama disappear with this one cool trick

GET THE FUCK OFF TWITTER

Ma'am, we're sorry to have to tell you this, but your husband had an accident at the Pianos, Anvils, and Comically Large Panes of Glass Incorporated factory...

he was hit by a car in the parking lot

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

it’s weird that professional letters are supposed to start with “dear.” i don’t even call my mom that

my darling hiring manager. my springtime rose. if hired i will bring a strong work ethic to this position

defunctland episode released immediately upon your death chronicling all failed career paths and relationships and somehow michael eisner is still at fault

i love this character so much. id love to see them at the lowest point of their life

Wile E. Coyote, two milliseconds before he lights a match only to reveal he's surrounded by flammable traps he himself has set and the whole website explodes

People are always writing fanfiction about how it’s abusive for tom to hit jerry with the big mallet and jerey has mallet PTSD and gets a restraining order out on tom and starts going to a domestic violence survivors support group. stuff like this. Sometimes I like it but sometimes it irks me.

the novelty of having pets really does never wear off i’ve had my cat for ten years and i still look at him strolling around like can you believe this. a cat. is everyone seeing this. he’s alive he has bones and all. unbelievable