the power of your intense fragility

I'm allergic to show!Jon (sorry Kit) so here it is, canon/book Jon Snow, Lord Commander of the Night's Watch. (my sweet boy)

She remembered a summer's snow in Winterfell when Arya and Bran had ambushed her as she emerged from the keep one morning. They'd each had a dozen snowballs to hand, and she'd had none. Bran had been perched on the roof of the covered bridge, out of reach, but Sansa had chased Arya through the stables and around the kitchen until both of them were breathless. She might even have caught her, but she'd slipped on some ice. Her sister came back to see if she was hurt. When she said she wasn't, Arya hit her in the face with another snowball, but Sansa grabbed her leg and pulled her down and was rubbing snow in her hair when Jory came along and pulled them apart, laughing.

oh sweet winter child

Ahsoka makes a very good but very disturbing point here. There is an entire generation of Padawans who know nothing but war. They were trained in war and they were raised in war. A war that the Jedi lost. In a single day they lost everything and everyone they've ever known. They couldn't go back to the Jedi temple, the clones had betrayed them and their masters were dead.

So how is it possible that Kanan and Cal are some of the best Jedi out there?

I believe it's because the Jedi were too stuck in their ways and too set on tradition. A Jedi couldn't form any attachments. That's why they were taken in when they were very young so they couldn't get attached to their families. After the Jedi fell, many Padawans went their own ways to try and survive. They didn't have to adhere to the Jedi's rules and did form attachments and with that build their own communities.

And I think that's something the Jedi sorely missed. A community, a family you could fall back on. I think that's a big part of the reason why the lost Padawans of the Clone Wars seem to do better than others. They could form their own path with the force towards being a Jedi, instead of being forced into a predetermined path set in stone by the Council.

I truly believe that Anakin would've thrived in an environment where he could've forged his own path instead of having to follow the rules of stale organisation he grew up in. Kanan loves Hera out loud something he couldn't do with the Council still around. Something Anakin desperately wanted with Padme but couldn't because he knew they'd cast him out, which is part of the reason why he fell to the dark side. When he needed help he was scared to ask for it because of the consequences.

The best example of this post-clone wars upbringing is Ezra Bridger in my opinion. He is not of the Clone Wars generation but he is Kanan's Padawan and carries his teachings and beliefs. Kanan must've known that when he started training Ezra he was for Jedi Temple standards too old and too attached to his parents. But Kanan had faith. And rightfully so, Ezra's connection to his parents is one of his biggest sources of strength. Kanan and the ghost crew helped him through a lot of his grief surrounding that.

“Lyanna was beautiful,” Arya said, startled. Everybody said so. It was not a thing that was ever said of Arya.

Stannis and shireen In the North

Anakin's journey to Ilum & the creation of his lightsaber:

The Council are hesitant to allow Obi-Wan to train Anakin. They worry about his anger, fear, past as a slave, and his love for his mother. Obi-Wan heeds their warnings internally, while going through with the training, due to Qui-Gon's dying will.

Yoda and Mace Windu are described as the two most cautious on the Jedi Council, of Anakin. This seems to be a majority the case, in most Star Wars media. Star Wars implies that they both sense something wrong in him — you as the viewer, who already knows what Anakin becomes, assumes this “wrong” is Vader. (Maybe Palpatine? Who knows.) Yoda and Mace often imply that something feels off about him, something past the concerns of his emotions and mother. “This boy’s future, clouded it is.” - Yoda TPM. / "I don't trust him." -Mace Windu ROTS. (Also the concept of him being the chosen one and eventually bringing balance as Vader, I keep thinking of this concept. What is it exactly that they sense?) To me, this also implies that his fate and future are considered unavoidable, or at least that there’s an imprint of it enough in the Force that Mace and Yoda can distinguish. This is something Anakin’s character is constantly presented with: That there’s this innate unavoidable wrong in him, or looming evil. I find this sad, the thought that Anakin is somehow already pre-destined to his fate, while being told he’s volatile throughout his adolescence, is tragic. — That he’s told the source of this wrong are his fears, anger, and his love for his mother, and this mysterious “clouded future”. This seems to be a common theme in this book so far.

After Obi-Wan insists to the Council, Anakin is taken to Ilum, an ice planet. On this planet, is the cave in which Kyber crystals grow. Younglings/Jedi Initiates go through something called “The Gathering”. They journey into the cave and feel through the Force, which Kyber crystals call to them, or connects with them. The cave, shows visions, fears and challenges they must face. (Is the cave that Luke goes through similar or connected to this? What causes these visions? The Force? Also why? Are they specifically fears, or warning and fortune telling? For example, Luke saw himself in Vader's helmet. What are Kyber crystals exactly and why are they connected to the Force in a special way? Need to look up more.) Afterwards the initiate builds their lightsaber within the cave.

Anakin had two core visions.

The first was of his mother, Shmi. She is a slave still, and being beaten and rough handled by some sort of slave owner, or slave raider. She’s terrified. Anakin lashes out, trying to stop them but can’t. The vision only stops when Anakin begs for it to. (The amount of Shmi suffering in this book is heart breaking - referencing a prev. chapter I posted screenshots of. I always come back to the over-expressed opinion: Where are the Jedi? Are they not the keepers of peace? Save this woman! Is it really that difficult or complex? Even if the Hutts are powerful, you leave her to suffer to avoid these conflicts?)

The second vision comes after Anakin finds his Kyber crystals, and is meditating. A vision of Darth Maul comes to him. Darth Maul reminds him of the strength that lies in his anger, and presents Anakin with a lightsaber. When Anakin ignites the saber, it’s red. Maul tells Anakin that Anakin secretly wishes he were his Master instead of Obi-Wan. Of course Anakin rejects all of this, he fights off and resists Maul. Right before Maul fades, he reminds Anakin that he would always be there, inside of him, and tells him that he will return. (Implying that darkness is always lying inside of Anakin, and foreshadowing the Dark Side in his future.) When the vision is over, Anakin is holding the same lightsaber. He doesnt remember building it, it’s the same as the vision. When he ignites it, it’s blue. The fact that it's the same bothers him. He keeps this a secret from Obi-Wan, and decides to ignore the vision.

Again, sad. A young, 13 year old Anakin is faced with a vision of a Sith Lord, telling him that he lies within him, warning him that he’d return. Implying that darkness always lies within Anakin and is upcoming. The fact that Anakin is holding the same saber that he had seen as a red one in his vision, only to wake and see the same exact hilt, without memory of building it, and that, that is his chosen saber, is sad. It’s just so sad. Whywhywhy. The vision of his mother makes sense, that is a fear, being unable to help her, but at age 13 was Anakin really battling with the fear of turning to the Dark Side? I don’t believe so, why would he? He fears not being enough, or not filling the expectations given to him by the Jedi/fullfilling the opinion that he shouldn’t be trained, that something is “wrong” with him. This vision was written almost as if it were a warning of some kind, or fortune telling, (I mean, we do know what happens, so.) I think of Luke's cave visions on Dagobah. Whether I like this writing decision or not, this inescapable future Anakin faces, is upsetting when presented this way.

Due to Obi-Wan's curiosity, he also enters the cave while Anakin goes off on his own, curious as to what he'd see. (Crazy decision.) Obi-Wan watches a repeating vision of Qui-Gon dying. Before the vision fades, Qui-Gon is trying to warn him about something, but he can't make out what he wants to say. Obi-Wan wonders if this is Qui-Gon warning him that he's doing something wrong or incorrectly, (Anakin's training?) or if it's just a vision.

Princess Elia Martell 🪷