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@dilfbrigade
home cooked meal

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Look at my birthday cake...
this tweet. but for tumblr
And what, pray tell, is so wrong with that? Must a king lower himself to the vocabulary of insects? Must an academiac explain his reasoning to kindergartners? There is no shame in knowledge nor is there in verbosity. Quite the opposite, they are to be celebrated. But I guess this is the world we are forced to inhabit. This world... This planet, teeming with life and all its infinite possibilities. And you would dare dilute it, so that a simpleton's mind could comprehend it? I will not stand for this. No more shall a man be judged for his might, his ambition, his intellect. No more shall we look down on those who propose a mere thought experiment about owning a human pec9sdjv0 c9i2ewokhndvoi adsjvci uwqeowdsxujvnli ufdsiuljfcniu ofeidcvjpc9nUIODSuljvniuwqopisafjvp985erioewaudJHB9jrg8frjuv8ar9jvuw08rd9vujq35g89spdujigk[0e9ravjik0rvu9jq54w8yvh r8og;af9ukjgmoiaelgurj9g8zboifyhvlo8fivujawp89 OC:Ivjare0sd9oizl
Please leave the mall, you're making a scene.
You won't... Keep me... from Hot Topic... forever...
trying to figure out dinner with my father is impossible
I wish I took a better pic of this writing in a bar bathroom in toronto bc I think of it so often. Be So Completely Yourself That No One Is Attracted To You Or Wants To Employ You

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request for you to not be a bitch
request denied
It's my cat's birthday (anniversary of me getting him) so I told him the story of his life while petting him real good
Highlights include:
For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.
Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.
Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.
I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.
I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.
Now you've lived with me for five years. Five is like the number of toe beans on one of your feet. When I clip your nails five is when we're halfway done. But we're hopefully not even halfway done with how long we get to be together. I'm gonna have to figure out new ways to help you count.
Actually I've decided this is a poem
"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?
thy mother
Art thou for fucking real
Ryland Grace and his popularity as a character feels like such an important step in repairing the cultural tsunami left by the long running trope of every genius character needing to be an insufferable asshole to everyone in a ten mile radios about it.
Conversely, Eva Stratt is doing wonders for repairing and inspiring a appreciation for commanding women with dubious moral convictions who are fully willing to bend laws for the greater good without hesitation.
And together they are doing brilliant things by not kissing or hooking up even once.
ā¶ Heartbreaker Heaven
& Heartbreaker Hell ā¶
Prints Now Available xx

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yeah i like to give my blessing to the most pathetic looking weak little knight at the tournament. she canāt even look me in the eye when i give her my flower and she stutters out that sheāll do her best or something of the like. i think its funny when she has to cry and beg my forgiveness and i get to say āsuch a shame, i suppose my hand in marriage will have to go to someone elseā¦ā and then i get to hear her whimper like a dog. ive done this like 6 times alrea-
did she just win.
I shall prepare a stew for the wedding! Extra salt!
wait wait wait stew goblin wait
get ready for the wedding
another emily axford all-timer from ccod finale
itās crazy to me that every seed in existence is a little chemical computer taking readings of temperature and moisture and minerals and all that to see if itās able to grow yet and theyāre doing crazy stuff like going into full dormancy and waiting for species-specific conditions etc etc and some seeds will do this in the size of a dust particle (see: orobanche) and some will pack in extra starch and food and do it in the size of a coconut or something⦠just dissected this flower seed at work that was a woody two-compartment capsule with one embryo per compartment, the whole seed a little smaller than a dime, and I swear to god it had a full soybeanās worth of embryo and food packed in there. itās just unfathomable to me
sometimes a seed strikes me as being like a little spaceship with on-board life support and stuff. all thatās inherently certain about a seedās existence is that its parents survived nearby, presumably, so if all goes well itāll be set up for some kind of success falling where it falls, but ideally the seed wonāt see those exact conditions, because being too close could also hurt the seedās chances of survival⦠as could being too far away, like if it ends up in a different habitat or ecosystem and the right conditions never happen. The whole food-on-board strategy was a huge buff when they patched it in after ferns and other spore-bearing plants, but itās still basically outer space, right? Just deploying a hundred ships to different planets in the same star system, hoping itās not so different down there that itās unsurvivable? like every seed is a chance and different plants are putting different amounts of food, effort, and strategy into those chances. so you get a million different seeds from a million different species and they all look and act different from the ground up. you know what I mean, man. you know what Iām sayin
Harm reduction is a type of self-care, and self-care is a type of harm reduction

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