DESTROY ALL NERDS

something about Toy Story toys is so strange to me. versions of animated characters based on real world toys, turned back into toys that are slightly different than the actual toys. slinky dog with a rubber spiral instead of a classic metal slinky. the porcelain bo peep and cloth woody turned into jointed plastic action figures. when toy story 4 came out and i saw a $30 talking action figure of forky, a character made out of a spork and a pipe cleaner, i stood in the walmart toy aisle staring at it like cameron from ferris bueller's day off staring at that painting in the art museum

picking the torture option and the next day the first thing he does right off the bat is make me eat a really big live spider

Ghosts aren't real, it was probably just the house settling that gave you that blowjob

I'm helping friends flip a house and we could use help to do that!!

Hey please help, this is an opportunity to have a place to stay

Hey I Really need help today

Oh yeah I'm definitely begging for people's help today after nearly getting assaulted last night on two separate occasions and almost getting rammed by a bus who stopped for the man right next to me and drove off when I tried to get on like I want to fucking evaporate right now I am so upset because there's no fucking reason for people to be this cruel to be publicly

im getting powers.

Describe

[I use my powers to remove ALL SCRIBES] sure 

the best death note joke format will forever be L asking light a simple question in which logical answer A might increase the likelihood of light being kira and logical answer B similarly might increase the likelihood of light being kira and after a short internal struggle light comes up with answer Y, which no human being has ever thought of as being a normal response in all of living history

the "what are your pronouns" comic is my fave example.

i step out onto stage clad in full corpse paint and death metal regalia and start playing the most middle-of-the-road soft rock you've heard since 1974